DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old girl living with my grandmother. My mom died when I was 7 and my father is now remarried. He and my stepmom have two children together.
My problem is my stepmother and I don't get along. I try to be friendly, but she hardly speaks to me or my grandmother. I understand that some people are quiet by nature and I am one of them, but my grandmother and I agree that her behavior is rude -- especially because we have done nothing to provoke it.
I sometimes get the feeling my stepmother doesn't want me to see my father. Every time he comes to visit at my grandmother's she calls, and then he has to leave.
My grandmother and I love their two children and they have come to recognize us. However, we don't get to see them very often. I believe my stepmother may be the reason for this as well.
What can we do to improve the situation? My grandmother has spoken to Dad, but things haven't gotten any better. I'm afraid to say anything because I know things could be worse. What's your advice? -- SILENT TEEN IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR SILENT TEEN: If your grandmother has already spoken to your dad, there is nothing you can do to improve the situation. The ball is in your father's court.
The problem isn't you or anything you have or haven't done. Your father married a woman who appears to be possessive, insecure and unable to empathize with anyone she can't control. You are a reminder that your father had a wife and a life before she came into it, and she views that as a threat. Your father could straighten her out -- but it appears she holds the power in their relationship.
It's time you spoke to him about your feelings directly. Hearing it from you may have more impact than what your grandmother is able to convey. If that doesn't work, you have my sympathy.