DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old girl living with my grandmother. My mom died when I was 7 and my father is now remarried. He and my stepmom have two children together.

My problem is my stepmother and I don't get along. I try to be friendly, but she hardly speaks to me or my grandmother. I understand that some people are quiet by nature and I am one of them, but my grandmother and I agree that her behavior is rude -- especially because we have done nothing to provoke it.

I sometimes get the feeling my stepmother doesn't want me to see my father. Every time he comes to visit at my grandmother's she calls, and then he has to leave.

My grandmother and I love their two children and they have come to recognize us. However, we don't get to see them very often. I believe my stepmother may be the reason for this as well.

What can we do to improve the situation? My grandmother has spoken to Dad, but things haven't gotten any better. I'm afraid to say anything because I know things could be worse. What's your advice? -- SILENT TEEN IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR SILENT TEEN: If your grandmother has already spoken to your dad, there is nothing you can do to improve the situation. The ball is in your father's court.

The problem isn't you or anything you have or haven't done. Your father married a woman who appears to be possessive, insecure and unable to empathize with anyone she can't control. You are a reminder that your father had a wife and a life before she came into it, and she views that as a threat. Your father could straighten her out -- but it appears she holds the power in their relationship.

It's time you spoke to him about your feelings directly. Hearing it from you may have more impact than what your grandmother is able to convey. If that doesn't work, you have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Cassie," who is 23, moved out to live with her fiance. My house is now truly empty. I have two sons who have been on their own for a while. Cassie was the last to fly the coop.

I am so sad. I can't bear to even go into her room. It is so quiet. We didn't exactly have the closest relationship. I tried, but she wanted her independence. It hurt, but isn't that what a parent has to do with her kids?

Now that Cassie's gone, she won't answer calls or messages -- nothing. I saw her at her place of work the other day and she barely acknowledged me. She claims she is "happy now" and really doesn't miss me. She says hurtful things and makes fun of me because I am so sappy and emotional.

How do parents handle these situations? I don't work because I'm not able to. I know I should go out and do volunteer work. I do go to the gym, but I'm much younger than the crowd there. I don't have many close friends. What do empty-nester moms do? I know Cassie is insensitive, but talking it out with her won't help. She is who she is. -- HURTING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR HURTING: OK, you say you don't have many close friends and can't work -- but you are well enough that you can go to a gym and volunteer. Now it's time for you to "fly the coop."

The way your daughter is treating you is beyond insensitive -- it's cruel. Instead of being afraid to go into her room you should paint it, redecorate it and rent it. Get out, volunteer, take dancing lessons, join whatever social groups there are in a 50-mile radius. The less time you spend at home the less time you will have to grieve.

DEAR ABBY: Our son, "Jason," has decided to leave college with only two semesters left in order to pursue his love of river guiding and outdoor programs. While he was in school, his father and I paid for his cell phone, health and car insurance, and his rent because we wanted his focus to be on his studies. We also paid his tuition.

Jason has a part-time job. Now that he has decided to leave school, our view is that he should find another job and assume these expenses.

My husband and I disagree about who should pay for any future education Jason wants. If he goes back to school, his tuition will be paid for, says Dad. I think we would be enabling him if he thought we were always standing by to foot the bill.

We are heartsick that Jason has made this decision, but his mind is made up. Any advice from you would be appreciated. -- UNHAPPY MOM IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR UNHAPPY: I agree that Jason should shoulder the responsibility for his living expenses. However, do not make any hard and fast decisions about his tuition while you are still angry at him. This situation will play out. If and when Jason decides to complete his education, discuss the matter of tuition then.

DEAR ABBY: Do you know what a speech-generating device is? A lot of people don't. It's a specialized computer that speaks for people who are unable to communicate verbally.

We're a group of campers from Camp Courage who use speech-generating devices to talk. Sometimes people are uncomfortable with our unique way of communicating. We'd like to share some ideas to help them understand:

1. Please be patient. It takes us a little bit longer to get our messages out than it does you.

2. Feel free to ask questions. Don't pretend to understand us if you don't.

3. Do not think we are stupid. Have you ever tried to communicate using one of these things?

4. If it looks like we're having trouble, ask if we need help.

5. Treat us like adults -- just as you would want to be treated.

6. If you're curious, you can look at our devices. It's OK to ask. We're not all the same.

7. Be our friend. If you do, you'll find we have a lot of interesting things to say.

Abby, thanks for helping us communicate our message. We hope to speak to you again! -- CAMILLE, HEATHER, JOEL, JOHN, NAT AND NICOLE

DEAR CAMILLE, HEATHER, JOEL, JOHN, NAT AND NICOLE: I'm pleased to help spread the word. For people who are vocally challenged, you have written an eloquent letter.

Assistive technologies have come a long way in recent years to ensure that people with disabilities are more fully able to participate in business as well as society. These advances are constantly evolving -- and as they do there must also be an "evolution" on the part of the larger community toward acceptance of people who are perceived as different.

DEAR ABBY: I had to chuckle at the letter from "Smooth-Headed in Tampa" (June 28), who complained that shallow women won't date a bald man. He hit the nail on the head with the term "shallow."

My husband is bald, but I didn't realize it when I first met him because he always wore a ball cap. We had gone to school together many years earlier, and he had thick, wavy hair then. When he took his cap off, I only hesitated for a second, remembering a lesson my father had taught me: "Never judge a book by its cover."

I'm so glad I heeded my dad's advice. We've been married 11 years and are more in love with each other now than when we married.

Please tell "Smooth-Headed" that not all women are shallow. He wouldn't want a woman like that, anyway. Besides, those women have no idea what they're missing. I keep threatening to get my husband that T-shirt that reads, "This Isn't a Bald Head, It's a Solar Panel for a Sex Machine," but he says he doesn't want to spill the beans! -- LOVE HIS CHROME DOME

DEAR LOVE: Thank you for the encouraging words for "Smooth-Headed." If the enthusiasm from my readers who love and/or prefer bald men is any indication, "Smooth" has been worrying needlessly. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I happen to absolutely go nuts over bald or balding men. I find nothing sexier. I can spot a bald man a mile off, and in my eyes there is no one else who compares. It may be because ever since I can remember, my father has been balding.

It makes no difference to me whether a man has little or no hair, is tall or short, thin or heavy. It is what's on the inside that counts. Any man bold enough to shave his head or not cover it with a ball cap is tops in my book. (My favorite actor is Vin Diesel.) -- OUT THERE LOOKING

DEAR ABBY: Doesn't "Smooth" know that bald is the new "sexy"? If he is uncomfortable with his hairline, he should see a barber or stylist who can make what hair he has "hot." Every head can look good.

I have happily dated men with receding hairlines and shaved heads. "Smooth" just needs to find a real woman who's interested in who he is, not what's growing or not growing on top of his head. -- NOT BALDPHOBIC IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR ABBY: You are correct that plenty of women will date balding men. Aside from your assertion that we are the smart ones who see beyond the surface, balding is supposed to be a sign of virility.

I do have one question for "Smooth-Headed": Are you willing to date women who are less than supermodels? Many women I know, myself included, are smart, funny and sexy, but have been spurned because we are slightly overweight. What I have learned is that people who sit around whining about the opposite sex being shallow should review their own biases and unrealistic expectations. Who might you be overlooking, Mr. "Smooth"? -- BIG AND BEAUTIFUL IN SOUTH DAKOTA

DEAR ABBY: I am in a loving, happy relationship with my 26-year-old boyfriend who has male-pattern baldness. We met through Internet dating, and "Smooth" should give it a try. Potential dates read about your interests and personality at the same time they see your photos. They'll start to know you before they meet you.

My advice to balding men: Don't be ashamed. "Own" your baldness. My boyfriend does. And his self-confidence makes him even more attractive to me. -- HAPPY HONEY TO A BALDING BABE