DEAR ABBY: I met "Guy" seven years ago and fell deeply in love. We dated for a couple of months, but one day with no warning he broke up with me on my voicemail.
Three weeks after the breakup, Guy came to my home. It was the week of his wedding, which he never bothered to mention. I later heard he had been married from a mutual friend. I knew Guy had been seeing someone, but he never indicated that it was serious.
We have been having an affair ever since our breakup. Because I love him, I can't say no to him. He'll go through periods where he says he's getting divorced. He even told my mom that. Then he calls and says they're going to work it out. I never pushed. I want him to be happy -- even if it's not with me -- and I want no part in causing a divorce. Every time I start to get over Guy, he comes around again. It's like he has radar.
The last time we slept together, a month ago, he told me he thought he had married the wrong woman. The next day, he admitted he has too much at stake to make a change. I am in so much pain. I don't want to be his mistress. If I tell his wife, Guy will never speak to me again. Should I tell her? -- RUNNER-UP IN CHEYENNE
DEAR RUNNER-UP: Whether you're willing to admit it to yourself or not, by continuing the affair with Guy you have been trying to sabotage his marriage. Your first clue that Guy wasn't much of a man should have been when he used voicemail to "break up" seven years ago. He has now made it plain that he isn't going to leave his wife.
Haven't you recognized by now that he is concerned only with his own gratification and doesn't care who is hurt by his actions? This Guy will waste as much of your time as you are willing to give. For your own sake, call a halt and get your head straight. You won't stop hurting until you draw the line.