DEAR ABBY: My childhood was difficult. My mother was a bitter, unforgiving, jealous woman. My father traveled a lot for his business and just tolerated my mother when he was home. I decided to never have children to bring into this family.

When I first met Dave -- my husband of 10 years -- I told him my feelings. He said it was fine with him -- he never had a strong desire to be a father. Until recently, our marriage has been a happy one.

After constant nagging by my mother about "When are you going to give me grandkids?" I lied and said that Dave had a low sperm count and we wouldn't be having any. Now Dave is no longer invited to their home for monthly Sunday dinners.

Mother is suggesting I divorce Dave and marry "someone who can give her grandchildren." Dave says that because he is "uninvited" I shouldn't go either. My father sides with my mother and says she's a lonely person. He says he will change his will if I upset Mom by not visiting.

Abby, this has caused a real strain on our marriage. Please help. -- NOBODY'S MAMA IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NOBODY'S MAMA: I'll try. The success of a marriage is not measured by the ability to produce grandchildren. If you hadn't lied to your mother, she wouldn't be blaming your husband for the fact that she doesn't have any. Tell her the real reason why you won't be having children, and how she influenced that decision. Her treatment of your husband and her meddling in your marriage are outrageous.

Tell your father to keep his money, and if your mother is "lonely" it's his job to fill her empty hours. If you allow your parents to continue to manipulate you, you will find yourself alone.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Nancy," is wonderful, generous and kind to everyone except her husband, "Ted." She belittles, yells and embarrasses him constantly.

Nancy has suggested that my boyfriend and I take a vacation with them, but I can't stand hearing her constant criticism. Just having dinner with them is painful enough.

Ted is a nice guy who tries hard to please Nancy, but he can't seem to do anything right in her eyes. Is there anything I can do or say to Nancy without offending her or sticking my nose where it doesn't belong? -- EMBARRASSED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR EMBARRASSED: As I see it, you have two choices. Keep dodging your friend's efforts to arrange a joint vacation, which will wear thin after a while. Or, have a frank chat with her. Tell her -- as gently as possible -- that she may not realize how uncomfortable she makes others when they must witness her constant bickering with her husband, and until they mend fences, you and your boyfriend will be unavailable for vacations.

DEAR ABBY: An old friend I'll call "Bud" used to take my ex-husband and me out for dinner and drinks. About 15 years ago, he met a woman. She moved in with him and then they got married. They have been married a long time now and I hardly get to see or talk to Bud.

I am now divorced. I have always had "feelings" for this man, and I want what Bud's wife has: She has a new car, a beautiful home, he has a new truck, they both work and seem to have everything.

I don't love Bud, but I know him from way back and I want to break them up. Can you give me any advice on how to? -- LOSING OUT IN SPRINGFIELD, MO.

DEAR LOSING OUT: You must not be a frequent reader of my column. In a case like this, I think I'll take a pass.

DEAR ABBY: I am a girl who has had my heart broken for the first time. I know I should get over this boy, but I can't stop thinking about him. My mom loved him. We hung out every weekend for six months.

I thought I might have been pregnant. I'm not -- but I want to be. I know I'm not ready to be a mom, but I want someone to love me and depend on me. I need someone who won't leave me. I know my baby wouldn't.

Should I become a mom? How do I get over my boyfriend? Do I stop talking to him and just be his friend? Abby, tell me the right way. -- LOVESICK IN YUCCA VALLEY, CALIF.

DEAR LOVESICK: Becoming a mother is not the way out of your heartache. Any young woman considering having a child must ask herself how she can provide financially and emotionally for that child. Most teenaged girls who become pregnant do not complete their high school education, and it has a negative impact on their ability to provide for themselves and their children.

The right way to work through this breakup is to talk to your mother or another trusted adult about your feelings. Stop trying to maintain contact with your former boyfriend. To continue will only prolong your pain. Dedicate yourself to achieving the most you can for yourself in sports and academics. It will give you less time to brood, and the more you achieve the more sought-after you will become.

It won't happen overnight. It will take time, concentration and dedication. If you take my advice you will come out of this disappointment a much happier person. But having a baby is not the answer.

DEAR ABBY: Eight months ago I began a weight-loss program the same week as my best friend, "Darby." We both have the same amount to lose, but she is using an expensive "liquid fast" combined with a private personal trainer at a gym. She has already spent a few thousand dollars.

I am working completely on my own, and have lost 30 pounds. Darby has lost 32.

She came over to visit and brought with her a huge stack of her old clothes, saying they no longer fit, but implying they would fit me! I do weigh a bit more than she does, but I am 4 inches taller.

I was offended, but too shocked to say anything. I put the clothes in my coat closet to dispose of later. What should I have said to my "friend"? I am really hurt. -- INSULTED IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR INSULTED: How about this? "Thank you. Perhaps I can have them taken in or lengthened -- or save them for a short, fat friend."

DEAR ABBY: When I am the guest in someone's car, I always offer money for gas -- $20 if it's a day-long trip, for example. If I'm short of cash, I'll tell the driver in advance and contribute once I get the money.

I know someone who seldom contributes money for gas when we travel long-distance together. He's not unemployed or financially strapped, either. Is this rude on his part? -- SIGHTSEER IN JERSEY CITY

DEAR SIGHTSEER: It qualifies as insensitive -- and possibly cheap. Before agreeing to another jaunt with this person, be sure you have an agreement in advance about how much he will be ponying up for petrol.

DEAR ABBY: My 6-year-old daughter, "Meg," has severe eczema. She's highly allergic to a long list of things, including dogs. Recently, at a basketball court and at an outdoor restaurant, we encountered some dog owners who refused to pull their dogs back after I informed them about her allergy. Both said, "It's a public place!" as if my daughter should not be in public. One man even argued that my child "couldn't possibly" be allergic to his poodle.

I take my children out in public often, and I never allow them to touch other people. Why can't dog owners understand the concept? Other than avoiding public areas that are dog friendly, and pulling my daughter away whenever she's touched by a dog, what can I do? -- MOM KNOWS BEST, IRVINE, CALIF.

DEAR MOM: The idea that dog owners would fail to pull their animals back after being told someone was highly allergic shocks me. However, because you can't make everyone behave responsibly, you will have to "dog proof" your daughter.

At 6, she's old enough to understand the reason she's broken out and itching is because she came in contact with one of the things to which she is allergic. Teach her to stay out of reach and to announce loudly, "Please hold your dog back! I'm allergic!" when the situation calls for it. And if you are with her and see someone with an animal approach, you should take the initiative and say emphatically, "My daughter is highly allergic to dogs. Please keep it away from my child!"

And while I'm at it, no child -- or adult -- should ever touch a strange dog without the owner's permission because you never know how the animal might react.

DEAR ABBY: I work at the front desk of a construction company. My work area is located in the lobby. I'm responsible for greeting visitors, answering the phone, typing letters and other administrative tasks. The only thing separating me from the visitors is a 12-inch-high counter that surrounds my desk.

Quite often, visitors must wait several minutes for the person they're seeing to come to the lobby. When they do, they often plant both arms on the counter, drape themselves over the top and scan every piece of paper on the surface of my desk, including what's showing on my computer screen. They also try to converse with me while I'm trying to work and answer the phone. I find this rude, inappropriate and an invasion of my personal work space.

How can I convey this to visitors without coming across as rude and jeopardizing the company's relationship with them? Desk modifications are not an option. -- BITING MY TONGUE IN UPSTATE NEW YORK

DEAR BITING YOUR TONGUE: Ask your boss how sensitive the correspondence you are handling is, and explain that it is being viewed by clients who walk in. Some offices handle the problem by keeping documents face down when they are not being worked on. Also, consider tilting your computer monitor and installing a privacy screen to block the view.

Because client relations is part of your job description, do not allow your annoyance at chatty clients to show. Smile and say, "I'd love to talk, but I have a ton of work I have to finish. Would you like a magazine-newspaper-water while you wait?" If that doesn't do the trick, find out from your boss which of your tasks takes precedence.