DEAR ABBY: My 6-year-old daughter, "Meg," has severe eczema. She's highly allergic to a long list of things, including dogs. Recently, at a basketball court and at an outdoor restaurant, we encountered some dog owners who refused to pull their dogs back after I informed them about her allergy. Both said, "It's a public place!" as if my daughter should not be in public. One man even argued that my child "couldn't possibly" be allergic to his poodle.

I take my children out in public often, and I never allow them to touch other people. Why can't dog owners understand the concept? Other than avoiding public areas that are dog friendly, and pulling my daughter away whenever she's touched by a dog, what can I do? -- MOM KNOWS BEST, IRVINE, CALIF.

DEAR MOM: The idea that dog owners would fail to pull their animals back after being told someone was highly allergic shocks me. However, because you can't make everyone behave responsibly, you will have to "dog proof" your daughter.

At 6, she's old enough to understand the reason she's broken out and itching is because she came in contact with one of the things to which she is allergic. Teach her to stay out of reach and to announce loudly, "Please hold your dog back! I'm allergic!" when the situation calls for it. And if you are with her and see someone with an animal approach, you should take the initiative and say emphatically, "My daughter is highly allergic to dogs. Please keep it away from my child!"

And while I'm at it, no child -- or adult -- should ever touch a strange dog without the owner's permission because you never know how the animal might react.

DEAR ABBY: I work at the front desk of a construction company. My work area is located in the lobby. I'm responsible for greeting visitors, answering the phone, typing letters and other administrative tasks. The only thing separating me from the visitors is a 12-inch-high counter that surrounds my desk.

Quite often, visitors must wait several minutes for the person they're seeing to come to the lobby. When they do, they often plant both arms on the counter, drape themselves over the top and scan every piece of paper on the surface of my desk, including what's showing on my computer screen. They also try to converse with me while I'm trying to work and answer the phone. I find this rude, inappropriate and an invasion of my personal work space.

How can I convey this to visitors without coming across as rude and jeopardizing the company's relationship with them? Desk modifications are not an option. -- BITING MY TONGUE IN UPSTATE NEW YORK

DEAR BITING YOUR TONGUE: Ask your boss how sensitive the correspondence you are handling is, and explain that it is being viewed by clients who walk in. Some offices handle the problem by keeping documents face down when they are not being worked on. Also, consider tilting your computer monitor and installing a privacy screen to block the view.

Because client relations is part of your job description, do not allow your annoyance at chatty clients to show. Smile and say, "I'd love to talk, but I have a ton of work I have to finish. Would you like a magazine-newspaper-water while you wait?" If that doesn't do the trick, find out from your boss which of your tasks takes precedence.

DEAR ABBY: "Devastated in Oklahoma" (June 18) asked how she can be supportive of her father, who is battling lung cancer. I was in a similar situation 3 1/2 years ago when my dad was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, a cancer of the blood.

It was terrifying witnessing the physical impact it had on my dad. I realized there wasn't anything I could do for his pain -- that was up to his doctors. But I figured out what I could do: I could raise money for cancer research.

I joined the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Team in Training and trained for an endurance bike ride while raising money for cancer. It was the greatest experience not only for me, but also for my dad, who was extremely touched by the number of donations. It gave him a morale boost.

I would like to encourage "Devastated" to look for a similar program in her area. It may help her deal with the diagnosis, knowing she's helping current and future patients just like her dad. "Devastated" doesn't have to be an athlete to sign up. I didn't even own a bike when I started the journey! -- EMMY IN ALBUQUERQUE, N.M.

DEAR EMMY: Taking a proactive stance is an excellent suggestion and one I am happy to pass along to "Devastated." Read on:

DEAR ABBY: With two cancer survivors in my family, I heartily endorse your advice. Even when we faced a 10 percent chance of survival, we worked, prayed, researched and talked about hopeful prospects. It helped us all in valuable ways.

There were dark days, but love of family, attention to medical messages, prayer and forward thinking can make a huge difference in the healing process. This is a time for "Devastated" to bond in new ways with her father. -- BEEN THERE, TOO

DEAR ABBY: My mother was diagnosed with lung cancer, too. She had one-fourth of her left lung removed. We thought it might be the end for her, but it certainly wasn't. She lived for seven more years, and I cherished the extra time I had with her. I hope "Devastated" will treasure every second with her father now. -- BARBARA IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR ABBY: As a father of two and grandfather of four, I know there is nothing more wonderful than being involved with one's progeny. "Devastated" should know that when her father comforted her, he was given the opportunity to do what a father loves to do -- show love to his child. And believe me, to know he was needed was a comfort to him as well. She need not worry. She is right where she needs to be. -- PAPA IN HAYWARD, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: "Devastated" should consider hospice if her father decides to stop treatment. It's a godsend and costs nothing. Most of all, she needs to let her father comfort her and to be her daddy for as long as possible. It will make him feel better. Let him know she loves him and will support any decision he makes. It is OK to cry, and to cry with him. -- MARY IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR ABBY: My brave, strong, loving father was killed instantly in a car accident. When I learned about it, I wished I had him to comfort me. "Devastated" is fortunate to still have time with her father.

She should not feel guilty about her feelings; they are perfectly normal. She needs to be his daughter first, his second pair of ears throughout his treatment and his caregiver if needed. The strength will come when she needs it. -- STILL MISSING MY DAD

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DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. When we got together he had just gotten out of a five-year relationship. He says he loves me, but he recently told me that she was better in bed than I am!

I have lost confidence in our relationship and don't enjoy making love with him now, knowing I don't measure up. His ex was better looking than I am, but I don't understand why he would say that. I have told him he hurt my feelings, but he doesn't care. What do I do now? -- HURT IN BIG SKY COUNTRY

DEAR HURT: Now you ask yourself whether you want to continue a relationship with someone so tactless that he would drop a bomb on you like that one. It's telling that when you let him know you were hurt, he let you know he didn't care.

There are diplomatic ways for partners to communicate what they prefer when they are intimate. One of them involves positive reinforcement when their partner does something right. Another is simply saying in plain English what feels good. It appears that your boyfriend is insensitive to the max, my dear. But what you do about it is something no one but you can decide.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married 11 years to my husband, who is one of nine children. My sister-in-law has asked me for a copy of one of our wedding pictures, which is the last time all of them were together. Since the wedding, one of my husband's sibs has died and another is serving a long stretch in prison.

The problem is, she wants to digitally remove me from the picture! I don't want to give my sister-in-law a copy knowing I'll be edited out. It's hurtful, and after all these years it makes me feel like she hasn't fully accepted me as part of the family. Am I overreacting? -- BLOCKED OUT IN TEXAS

DEAR BLOCKED OUT: Your sister-in-law wasn't very diplomatic, but what she is trying to memorialize is the last time her biological family was intact. The situation is poignant, really. My advice is not to take this personally. Give her the picture before any hard feelings "develop."

DEAR ABBY: My 12-year-old niece, "Amanda," is on her cell phone constantly. She is the smartest kid I know, but she is failing her classes and has started to lie about everything. I raised her until she was 5 -- I was only 12 myself when I started -- so I am very close to her. Or so I thought.

Amanda lives with her dad and stepmom, who are doing their best to raise her, but nothing is working. When she was growing up she never lied, and I mean never. I have told her not to be afraid to talk to me about anything, but she hasn't, and it hurts me that she can't come to me. What do you suggest I do? -- WORRIED AUNT IN WASHINGTON

DEAR WORRIED AUNT: Speak to Amanda's father and suggest that he confiscate her cell phone until her grades improve. If she is texting instead of paying attention in class, and talking instead of doing her homework, that would be a step in the right direction. And continue to tell your niece that if she needs to talk to you about "anything," you are -- and will always be -- there for her.