life

Blind Woman's Friend Turns Deaf Ear to Silence Request

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 8th, 2010 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My son and his girlfriend decided to go to an afternoon matinee. Two older women sat down behind them. When the movie started, one of them began a loud, running commentary to the other.

After a few minutes, my son and his girlfriend moved to seats four rows farther down, but they could still hear the woman explaining step-by-step what was happening on the screen. He turned around and made a shushing sound, and in a loud voice she responded, "My friend is blind and I'm explaining what's happening on the screen."

Other people changed seats, too. My son understood how a blind person might want to enjoy hearing a movie, but her companion should have told her this was a public place and she would have to wait until they go home to have it explained in full, or wait for the DVD to come out so they could talk at home while it was on.

Abby, wasn't it rude to destroy everyone else's enjoyment of the film? -- SUZANNE IN LAGUNA NIGUEL, CALIF.

DEAR SUZANNE: Yes. Your son should have taken the problem to the theater usher or manager. Many theaters are equipped with special descriptive audio for blind patrons. If that accommodation was not available, the blind person and her companion should have sat toward the front of the theater or in an area that was less crowded so they didn't distract other audience members. Also, movies with descriptive audio can be obtained at the local library.

life

Dear Abby for August 08, 2010

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 8th, 2010 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I have to choose between chorus and art for an elective for high school in the fall. I have been told I have an excellent voice, but I'm scared to death about auditioning for chorus. I have little artistic ability -- just enough to get me through life.

I don't know what to do. I want to be in chorus, but as I said, I am terrified of having to try out. Please give me some advice. -- ANGEL GIRL IN CHARLOTTE, N.C.

DEAR ANGEL GIRL: You have to decide whether to take advantage of the fact that you have "an excellent voice" or spend the rest of your life singing by yourself in the shower.

One way to overcome fear is to confront it in stages. In other words, start by singing for a few friends. If there's a choir at your church, ask if you can audition for it. When school starts, ask the choral director if you can audition privately if you're still afraid. If the answer is no, then your elective will have to be art. And by the way, you may be pleasantly surprised to discover that "talent" in art is the result of hard work, dedication and practice.

life

Dear Abby for August 08, 2010

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 8th, 2010 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I have been experiencing something similar to your "pennies from heaven" letters. My husband, a master carpenter for 40 years, passed away 10 months ago. We had several projects started --- a shop, a greenhouse and a room addition. We were also starting up a small sawmill business.

I have been trying to get things finished, and whenever I think I am not going to be able to make it, I find a nail where a nail shouldn't be. It was always a joke between us that he spread nails like Johnny Appleseed spread seed. I believe he is watching out for me and leaves them to let me know I will be OK. -- JO ANN FROM FORKS, WASH.

DEAR JO ANN: I think you've "nailed" it. And because they bring you comfort, collect them and -- perhaps -- find a creative way to display them.

life

Girl Is Held Hostage When Stepsister Comes to Stay

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 7th, 2010 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: When my stepsister, "Skye," stays here every other weekend, I not only have to share my room with her, but I'm also expected to spend all my time with her. We're both 15. I have nothing against her, but she's not someone I would choose as a friend.

It's a small room for two people. It means I can't have friends over every other weekend, and I'm also not allowed to spend the night at a friend's or do anything with them without taking her along. She's usually not invited, so I'm stuck staying home with her.

Abby, Skye is supposed to be here visiting her father (my stepfather), but he's usually out playing golf or fishing, and I have to be home with her and feel like I'm her baby sitter. Please tell me what you think. -- FED UP IN EUGENE, ORE.

DEAR FED UP: I'm glad you asked. This is something you should discuss with your mother. But please consider that as uncomfortable as this is for you, imagine how your stepsister must feel. Skye is stuck every other weekend in a small room with someone who resents her because she'd rather entertain her friends. Add to that the fact that Skye has a father who shows no interest in spending special time with her, and would rather be with his buddies or alone amusing himself with his hobbies.

Frankly, I feel sorry for both you and your stepsister. You're being treated like her unpaid baby sitter, and she's no baby. And she is being treated like a burden to everyone.

life

Dear Abby for August 07, 2010

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 7th, 2010 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I recently received a wedding invitation from my cousin, who is marrying a woman with two children from a previous marriage. Photos of all of them were included in the invitation.

In addition to the typical registry items (housewares, kitchen gadgets, etc.), I was surprised to see a number of items for the children, including bedding, games, toys and clothing. Is this typical for couples with children who marry, or is this an abuse of the registry? -- PERPLEXED IN UTAH

DEAR PERPLEXED: An abuse of the registry? When a couple is being married, they register for items they think they will need as they start life together. Loving friends and family try to give them what they request, to the extent they are financially able to do so. Your cousin and his bride-to-be may prefer new items for the children to yet another coffee pot, toaster or piece of china. If that offends you, give them something else. The registry is a guideline; it's not cast in stone.

life

Dear Abby for August 07, 2010

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 7th, 2010 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: Once a week I meet with three friends at a coffee shop/restaurant. We sit for at least an hour chatting and catching up about our families. I'm the only one in the group who orders anything, and it's usually just a beverage. It makes me uncomfortable that no one else orders and we take up the table for an hour. This has gone on for a while, and I have not found a way to say anything. Can you help? -- FRIEND IN SACRAMENTO

DEAR FRIEND: If the owner or manager of the place objected to the fact that you are taking up the table, something would have been said by now, or a notice would have been printed stating that customers must place a minimum order per person. However, because you feel awkward being the only person having something, tell your friends how you feel and that you'd feel more comfortable if they ordered something, too.

life

Woman Feels No Barriers With Pen Pal Behind Bars

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 6th, 2010 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I have been writing to an inmate from the Florida prison system for about two years. It has slowly developed into more than a friendship. "Mike" is a born-again Christian, as am I. He doesn't get out until 2013 at the earliest, so we have plenty of time to see where this goes.

Am I wrong for considering someone who is in prison? Mike has made mistakes, nothing violent, and has turned his life around. If he does become part of my life, how do I introduce him to my family so they may better accept him?

Abby, I'm 54. I lost my husband seven years ago. It is nice to have someone in my life again. We have talked on the phone, and it feels like we have known each other our whole lives. Am I crazy? -- SMITTEN IN NEW YORK

DEAR SMITTEN: Crazy? No. Gullible? Possibly. Please forgive me if I seem cynical, but more than one devout, vulnerable, lonely woman has been taken advantage of by an inmate with whom she corresponded. That's why, before allowing yourself to become more emotionally involved, you should contact the warden of the prison and verify that what "Mike" has been telling you is the gospel truth. If it is -- fine. If it's not, for your own sake, end the correspondence immediately.

P.S. As to how to introduce him to your family, if it comes to that, be completely honest and tell them he's your pen pal. If you're not, they'll find out eventually anyway.

life

Dear Abby for August 06, 2010

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 6th, 2010 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I am a vegan who is constantly pestered by uninvited comments like, "You're not getting the proper nutrition," or "That looks disgusting," or "You should just give it up." I wouldn't dream of making such rude comments to others about their diet. What one eats is his or her own business.

My husband -- an omnivore -- and I have decided to raise our child vegan. He can choose whatever diet he prefers when he is older and educated about them. We work with a pediatric nutritionist to ensure that our son gets all the nutrients he needs. We make him pureed fresh vegetables, fruits, grains and more for almost every meal.

We are now getting comments from family and friends who feel we're practically abusing our son. I believe people make these comments because they are ignorant about this lifestyle. I have asked them to stop, but they continue. What can I do to stop the unwarranted harassment? -- SICK OF THE COMMENTS IN BALTIMORE

DEAR SICK: Is your child's pediatrician aware of the diet you have him on? Is your pediatric nutritionist a member of the American Dietetic Association? Have you told the individuals making these comments that you are working with a professional to be sure your little one is getting everything he needs? If the answer to my questions is yes and the questioners persist, refer them to your nutritionist for reassurance.

life

Dear Abby for August 06, 2010

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | August 6th, 2010 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: How do you mend a broken heart? -- TEARS ON MY PILLOW

DEAR TEARS: By staying busy. By avoiding the "old reminders," which tend to make you moody and broody. By putting away or getting rid of the photographs, cards and gifts that make you sad -- unless you enjoy punishing yourself. And by staying in the present.

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