DEAR ABBY: This summer, my boyfriend and I will be working together. I will be his boss. I want to maintain a professional environment while still keeping peace in the relationship. My boyfriend can be sensitive sometimes, so do you have any tips to help me separate my work life from my love life? -- STAGE MANAGER IN THE SOUTH

DEAR STAGE MANAGER: Yup. Before you start working with your boyfriend, establish ground rules in advance. He needs to understand that he won't be treated any differently than the rest of the cast and crew members because of your personal relationship, and to protect your job there must be no suggestion of favoritism. For you to allow that to happen, or for him to expect special treatment, would be unprofessional and could negatively affect the production.

DEAR ABBY: I was my best friend "Chanel's" maid of honor. I received her beautiful engraved invitation in the mail, but never sent back my RSVP, assuming that because I was maid of honor, had purchased my plane ticket, reserved a hotel room (which the bride and I were sharing the night before the wedding) and had already bought my dress, it was "understood" that I was coming. The bride and I had already discussed my special meal for the reception because I am a vegetarian.

During the reception, Chanel's mother informed me that "in the future I needed to RSVP when invited to a function." Abby, as a member of the wedding party I honestly didn't think I needed to. Are the members of the wedding party expected to RSVP?

As an aside, Chanel's mother was never fond of my mother and has told Chanel she thinks I'm "flaky." Was I in the wrong, or did her mother use this as a way to express her dislike of me? I have never considered her someone who was a stickler regarding etiquette. -- PERPLEXED IN PLANO, TEXAS

DEAR PERPLEXED: Technically, when one receives an RSVP card with an invitation, the recipient should immediately return it with an acceptance or regrets. However, in your case, common sense should have allowed the bride's mother to conclude that you would be there -- for all of the reasons you mentioned -- unless Chanel and her mother weren't communicating.

It appears your assessment of the woman is on target. For her to have been so insensitive to have taken it upon herself to "correct" you at the reception was in extremely poor taste.

DEAR ABBY: What should I call my late daughter's husband? My daughter had been married to "John" for 10 years at the time of her death. They had two young children.

John has since remarried and his wife has adopted the children. We have a close relationship, but I am unsure how to introduce both of them. (They are also aunt and uncle to my other grandchildren.) -- JUDITH IN SAN JOSE

DEAR JUDITH: The family history does not have to be explained at the time you introduce them. I see no reason why you should feel compelled to explain that your daughter died and John remarried, etc. Why not just say, "This is John and Mary, and our grandkids, Laurie and Jimmy"?

DEAR ABBY: I am a 27-year-old woman who lives alone in a house I own. Sometimes strangers come to the house for various reasons -- plumbers, electricians, etc.

One question I am frequently asked is, "Do you live alone?" I just don't know how to answer that question without feeling like someone might take advantage of me. Can you help me and other single women by providing an appropriate response? -- CAUTIOUS BACHELORETTE, HUNTSVILLE, ALA.

DEAR BACHELORETTE: Gladly. Your gut instincts are on target. I ran your question by my local police department. While I do not usually advise readers to lie, this is the exception that proves the rule. If you are asked if you live alone, reply: "No, I do not live alone. My boyfriend (brother, nephew, etc.) lives here too. Why do you ask?"

DEAR ABBY: My parents are in their 60s and very healthy. Dad has always been frugal. But ever since his retirement, saving a buck seems to be the only thing that makes him happy. Mom and Dad are comfortably well off, but all they seem to think about is saving money.

My sibling and I are doing well enough that we don't need to rely on inheritance money. We would rather see them enjoy life than hold onto that money for us. Is Dad bored, or does he need a hobby?

It has reached the point where it's embarrassing to go anywhere with them because Dad berates waiters at restaurants and argues with store clerks over prices. When we're shopping, he "disappears" until everything is paid for. When I tell him I didn't expect him to pay, he gets defensive and denies he was hiding. What do you make of this? -- PULLING MY HAIR OUT

DEAR PULLING: I make of it that your parents are healthy, retired with less money at their disposal than -- perhaps -- they had counted on, and expect to live a long time. That may be what is driving your already frugal father's behavior.

Many retirees today are doing with far less because of the financial turmoil over the last few years. Some have had to postpone their retirement entirely.

Because your father is arguing with servers over the price of food -- which is not their fault because they don't set the prices on the menu -- take him to less expensive restaurants. And if his behavior when you're shopping embarrasses you, find other ways to spend time with him.

DEAR ABBY: I am a college student and four months pregnant. This is my first pregnancy and I'm having a baby shower. I recently heard that sometimes males are invited to the shower. I would like to know if this is appropriate and if I can do it. My mother thinks it's tacky, but this is 2010! Is it acceptable? -- JESSICA IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR JESSICA: Yes, it is acceptable. Allow me to quote from Emily Post's Etiquette, 17th Edition: "It is not uncommon for men to be included on baby shower guest lists these days -- and some lucky guys become shower honorees. (An Emily Post Institute survey showed that over a third of respondents had attended showers where the guest list was mixed.)"

DEAR ABBY: Nineteen-year-old "Hopeless in Chandler, Ariz." (May 21), said he doesn't know what he wants to do with his life. When I was his age, I didn't know what I wanted to do, either. I didn't want to go to college, the military didn't interest me, and nothing I could think of seemed appealing.

My parents had factory jobs -- Dad in quality control and Mom in assembly. They talked me into filling out an application at the plant. I did so grudgingly, and was hired. I figured I'd stay one or two years and then find something I liked better.

This September I'll have worked there 32 years. I have survived layoffs and reorganizations, a move to another town and the sale of the product line I started on. I consider the job I'm doing now to be my dream job, and I enjoy going to work every day.

My advice to "Hopeless" is to try something he may think he won't like, give it a chance, and see how he feels in a couple of years. He may be surprised by what he discovers. -- HAPPY AND SATISFIED IN OHIO

DEAR HAPPY: Great advice! It never hurts to give something a try before deciding you don't like it. Read on for more suggestions:

DEAR ABBY: I would encourage "Hopeless" to take college transfer courses at a community college. This often leads to finding an interest. Volunteer and/or get a part-time job. If nothing else, those experiences can eliminate some fields of endeavor or spark an interest in something he has not yet considered. -- VOCATIONAL REHABILITATION COUNSELOR IN MURPHY, N.C.

DEAR ABBY: "Hopeless" should sign with a temp agency. I worked as a temp during my college breaks and was introduced to various office settings, technologies and career opportunities. One summer's temporary placement -- answering phones and doing clerical work -- led to a higher-level position the following summer after graduation. I took it and couldn't have been happier.

"Hopeless" shouldn't wait for others to tell him what he should do -- he should just get out there and do it! If nothing else, he may discover what he does NOT want to do and can direct his college course accordingly. -- BARBARA IN KATY, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Life is what happens while you're busy making plans. "Hopeless" should choose something he enjoys doing, do it well and enjoy the experience. Most important, he should stick with it until he's sure a change is needed. Career planning works for some, but for most people life has a funny way of taking us down roads we never saw coming. -- "DOC" IN LOS OSOS, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: Twenty years ago I never would have thought of becoming a professional organizer, but that's what I am now. This is not a career that appears in any career counselor's tests, but I'm sure you wouldn't find many unusual careers in a book or test. I advise "Hopeless" to join volunteer groups and ask friends if they need help with anything. He may discover an aptitude for something he wasn't aware he possessed. -- JAN IN CARLSBAD, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: There are hundreds of jobs that provide a good living -- plumber, electrician, bricklayer, construction worker, appliance repairman, stonemason. The list goes on. These are jobs that keep the world spinning and keep us in the comforts we enjoy.

If "Hopeless" doesn't know what he wants, he might consider taking a year to work with AmeriCorps, the Peace Corps or Habitat for Humanity. If he uses his imagination, he can make a difference in the world. -- KEEPING IT REAL IN NEW HAMPSHIRE