DEAR ABBY: Please remind parents and teenagers that it is "cool" to wear a helmet when riding bikes and skateboards. A child in our town died recently after suffering a head injury, and we have just received word that the son of a close friend (age 23) has started having seizures because of a head injury he suffered as a teen after falling from a skateboard.

I had my grandson decorate his helmet. All his friends thought it looked great, and that made it "cool" to wear it. With summer here and kids outside, wearing a helmet cannot be stressed enough. -- VIGILANT GRANDMA OUT WEST

DEAR GRANDMA: You are not only a vigilant grandma, but also a clever one. Falls are common among bike riders, skateboarders, Rollerbladers, and those who drive and ride all-terrain vehicles. According to the Traumatic Brain Injury Recovery Network, an estimated 7 million Americans seek medical care every year for injuries sustained during sports or recreation-related activities, an estimated 4.3 million of whom are treated in emergency rooms. The highest rates of sports- and recreation-related injuries are among adolescents 10 to 14 years of age.

When a child's head hits cement, wood or hard-packed dirt, the result can be a traumatic injury that leads to concussion, permanent brain injury or even death. That is why children who participate in sports should be strongly encouraged to wear protective headgear at all times.

DEAR ABBY: Some friends who live out of state just left, after inviting themselves to stay at our home while they attended to family business. We live in a town with many hotels. We enjoy their company, but when we visited them last year, we stayed at their bed and breakfast (at their invitation) and were charged $175 a night even though there were empty rooms at their inn.

My wife says I should shut up, but I feel used. Your thoughts? -- MIFFED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MIFFED: Your feelings are accurate. You welcomed this couple as friends; they welcomed you as paying guests. Now that you know this about them, treat them accordingly. The next time they invite themselves to your home, tell them you'd love to visit with them while they're in town and refer them to a hotel.

P.S. If this has happened more than once, it could only be because you allowed it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 42-year-old mother of three, married to my husband for 15 years. I am active in my church and community and live a good, decent life.

My 20th college reunion is coming up in September. I lived a wild life in college, drank too much and was promiscuous. I would like to attend the reunion with my husband, who is also an alumnus. While I will love seeing old friends, I feel apprehensive because I will be among some people I once had relations with.

Abby, I am not the same person I was back then. Part of me wants to go to the reunion to show that I have changed. My husband is aware of my past and accepts it. Should I go? -- DIFFERENT NOW IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR DIFFERENT NOW: Go! I'm sure you won't be the only person there who was "wild" when you were younger. Show up, have a good time, and let bygones be bygones.

DEAR ABBY: Over the last year I have noticed cleavage everywhere. It's in the middle and high schools, the teller waiting on me at the bank, the cashier at the supermarket and department stores -- all offering plunging frontal views. I can't believe management allows this, and for the younger women, I can't believe their parents permit it. These females look like they're dressed for a romantic evening, not as employees of reputable businesses or students.

Am I just getting old or has this become acceptable? I would like to stop doing business with these companies, but if I do I'll have no place to shop. What's your opinion? -- CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES, ULSTER PARK, N.Y.

DEAR CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR EYES: Are you just noticing this? It has been happening for years. And I'm not referring only to the amount of cleavage women are showing. Haven't you noticed how much that's showing "south of the border" on females and males?

Many businesses have dress codes -- and if enough customers complain or take their business elsewhere, managers might adhere to them. As to the students -- most schools have dress codes, but whether the rules are enforced is another matter entirely.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Herb," and I are middle-aged and have been married four years. Herb is a wonderful husband, and we are very happy. I cook, and he usually cleans up -- including washing several dishes and cooking utensils by hand. (He doesn't like to use the dishwasher.)

Abby, this sweet man doesn't get the dishes clean! I'm talking about lipstick on glasses, oil on pans and food left on plates. He doesn't use soap or hot water, either. I rewash everything the next morning after he leaves for work. I'm afraid to say anything because I'm happy Herb makes the effort, and I don't want to ruin the nice gesture. Should I keep this up, or tell him my concerns and ask him to try harder? -- IN LOVE WITH THE DISHWASHER, AUSTIN, TEXAS

DEAR IN LOVE: Your sweet husband may have poor eyesight -- so start pointing out what he's missing on the dishes. Then explain that, in the interest of hygiene, you would be more comfortable if, instead of just rinsing the dishes, he would place them in the dishwasher so you can be sure they are sterile the next time you use them.

P.S. Because you are having to wash the dishes twice, you may find that by using the dishwasher you will be using less water!

DEAR ABBY: Do you think it's appropriate to laugh when someone inadvertently falls -- especially if it's unclear whether the individual is hurt?

I have never found it amusing to see someone fall. Instead, I feel concern. Some of my friends think that laughing is not only the appropriate response, but "necessary" to help ease the embarrassment of the individual who has fallen. Who's right? -- COMPASSIONATE WITNESS IN SEATTLE

DEAR COMPASSIONATE: You are. And watch out for those "friends" because they either lack maturity or empathy -- or both.

TO FATHERS EVERYWHERE -- BIRTH FATHERS, STEPFATHERS, FOSTER FATHERS, AND THOSE CARING MEN WHO FILL THE ROLE OF ABSENT FATHERS: A Happy Father's Day to all of you!

DEAR ABBY: My father is a successful attorney. He appears to be the ideal father because he's charming, has a sense of humor and is intelligent.

He's a different person in private. Since I was 12, he has verbally and emotionally abused me, sometimes hitting me, throwing me down, threatening to evict or kill me. Abby, I was not a bad child. I never experimented with drugs or alcohol and spent little time with friends. I'm currently in college and maintain a 4.0 GPA.

My family and I think my father is mentally ill. He's extremely unstable and has a family history of these issues, including suicide. He has started stockpiling his deceased father's belongings, speaks to the dog as if it were a human being, and obsessively checks things in the house like locks, etc. He has extreme anger issues and other bizarre behaviors.

It's clear Dad has a problem, but because it has not affected him at work he sees no reason to get help. The one time I brought it up it only enraged him. He believes he is the ruler of the house, in control of everything, but it's obvious he's losing control.

We know we can't force him to get help, but what can I do to get Dad to see a psychiatrist or to improve the situation? Mom has given up, and I'm afraid for my little sister. She's in high school and still lives at home. -- BIG SIS IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR BIG SIS: Your mother should have insisted your father get help when he started abusing you. Because she didn't, you should have told a teacher or counselor at school because they are mandated to report it. If your father abuses your sister, that's what she must do.

While many people mistakenly think that domestic abuse happens only in low-income families, family violence occurs among people on all social and economic levels. Because you fear for your sister's safety, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-7233. The people there can suggest help for your mother and sister, but your father cannot be "helped" unless he's willing to finally admit he needs it.

DEAR ABBY: I just returned from a "Manicure/Pedicure Party" for a friend who is being married. The invitation I received stated, "Please join us for a manicure and pedicure in honor of the bride-to-be."

I was home about 10 minutes when I received a phone call from one of my hostesses. She told me that I had left without paying for my manicure and pedicure! I was floored. I told her I had forgotten, but the fact is, I had assumed since the invitation stated "Please join us" that the hostesses were paying.

Did I misinterpret the invitation? Or do people now "host" parties where they expect the guests to pay their own way? I am embarrassed and confused. Should I have asked the salon worker or the hostesses who was paying the bill? -- CONFUSED IN COWTOWN

DEAR CONFUSED: Obviously you did misinterpret the invitation, which should have clearly mentioned that the event was "no host" and the guests would be required to pay for their own "salon services." I see no reason why you should have assumed that you'd be asked to pay, and your confusion is understandable. But please don't feel embarrassed. The folks who should feel embarrassed are the "hostesses."