DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Alana," and I have been married for 14 years. In many ways our marriage is good, but our sex life is horrible. In my opinion, it has never been good. As time passes, I feel more and more anger toward her. Alana is attractive and physically fit; I don't understand her lack of desire. When the subject of sex comes up, it makes us both clam up.
I have been thinking of leaving her. We have become more like best friends than husband and wife. Our two boys would be crushed if we split. I have not -- and would never consider -- an affair. What do you think about this? -- TROUBLED HUSBAND IN MISSOURI
DEAR TROUBLED: Good sex is all about open communication. If the subject makes you and your wife both clam up, it's no wonder your sex life has faltered.
Before you and Alana can get on the same wavelength, you need to understand how each of you defines a good sex life. The reason sex therapy has become a medical specialty is that so many couples have the same problems you're experiencing. Before deciding to call it quits, ask your doctor for a referral to a sex therapist.