DEAR ABBY: I am in shock. My brother, "Paul," invited me to lunch yesterday and introduced me to an 18-year-old girl, "Amy," whom he says is his daughter from a woman other than his wife. Naturally, she was full of questions about me and the rest of the family.

I don't know why Paul chose to reveal Amy's existence to me -- and only me -- but I told my brother he needs to share his "secret" with all concerned. I don't think it's fair for Amy to be deprived of meeting her father's side of the family.

I also don't want anyone to get hurt, but Amy has been hurt enough by this secret. I am uncomfortable that my brother has included me in this conspiracy, and I'm not sure how to handle this. Any ideas? -- IN THE MIDDLE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: On some level your brother may want the truth to come out, because when a secret is shared it's no longer a secret. So tell your brother that you refuse to be his co-conspirator, and that you feel his keeping Amy isolated from the family is unfair to her. Then give him a deadline to come clean, with the understanding that if he doesn't, you will.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Luke" for about three months. He's a sweet and thoughtful guy who cares about me, and I care for him as well.

My problem is I have never been the kind of person who likes to be touched. It makes me feel tense and uneasy. Luke likes to touch me constantly -- stroking my cheek, rubbing the back of my neck, or kissing my cheeks and forehead.

It isn't that I don't like hugs or kisses, but too much drives me crazy. How do I explain this to Luke without hurting his feelings? -- ENOUGH IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR ENOUGH: A good start would be to say to him exactly what you have communicated to me. And when you do, tell him to please not take your feelings as personal rejection. Different people have different needs for closeness and affection. Because the constant touching makes you uncomfortable, you and Luke must reach a compromise that's acceptable to both of you -- or you're not the girl for him.

DEAR ABBY: Regarding your column of April 12, 2010, and the letter about the man who refuses to file tax returns, your answer was only partially correct. In addition to enrolled agents, tax returns are also prepared by other licensed professionals.

Certified public accountants are regulated by the various states and do a great deal of tax preparation.

Some tax attorneys may prepare income tax returns. The failure to file a tax return could be a crime, in which case the individual would need a tax attorney to represent him in trying to avoid a jail sentence. Communications to tax attorneys may be covered by the attorney-client privilege.

In addition, there are practitioners who are qualified both as attorneys and as CPAs. While many enrolled agents may also be CPAs, or even attorneys, you should not have restricted your recommendation to enrolled agents only. -- SYDNEY S. TRAUM, JD-CPA, MIAMI BEACH, FLA.

DEAR SYDNEY: My thanks to you and the countless other CPAs and attorneys who wrote to correct me. I apologize for the omission. After wading through the tidal wave of mail, I contacted the National Association of Enrolled Agents (NAEA) for clarification and was told:

"There are many outstanding tax practitioners who are attorneys or CPAs, some of whom are members of NAEA. We do not wish to imply in any way that they are less qualified or capable in the field of taxation. We just want to call attention to the profession of enrolled agents and let the public know that they are the only tax practitioners SPECIFICALLY licensed by the Department of the Treasury."

Readers, I hope this straightens out any confusion. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I was intrigued by the letter from the woman whose boyfriend has refused to file tax returns for eight years. In addition to the civil ramifications of refusing to file the tax return as articulated in your response, it is a federal crime not to file one.

An individual who has the requisite income is punishable for up to three years in prison for failure to file a tax return for each year in which he or she is responsible for filing one. Additionally, it can be construed by the government as tax evasion, for which the maximum penalty includes five years imprisonment for each year in which the tax is evaded. -- DENNIS C. KAINEN, MIAMI BEACH, FLA.

DEAR ABBY: My 12-year marriage to someone just like the man in that letter became a financial disaster. Even though I did file separately, I co-signed home, car and credit card loans with him. It has taken me more than 10 years to regain my good credit and restore my dignity.

If she does marry him, he will display immaturity in other areas -- as a husband, a father, an employee -- and she will look back (as I did) and realize what a horrible mistake she made. She should not ignore this important signpost! Please warn her to wake up before it's too late. -- BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, ROCHESTER, N.Y.

DEAR ABBY: My brother passed away a year ago, leaving a wife and five children. They are wonderful, well-behaved kids. Unfortunately, my brother appears to have been the one who kept everybody on schedule and made all the decisions. My sister-in-law just did whatever he said, deciding nothing on her own. Now that he's gone, the family seems to be falling apart.

The kids spend very little time at home, and they never eat together as a family anymore -- something I know is necessary these days to keep tabs on what the kids are up to. I could go into detail about how things have gone to pot, but I want to keep this brief. It breaks my heart to see it happen.

I would love to have a little chat with my sister-in-law to explain to her that she must step up to the plate and be the adult. How does one broach the subject without alienating her? -- LOVING AUNT IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR LOVING AUNT: Start by telling this widowed mother of five that you are worried about her, that you're concerned she may be chronically depressed over her husband's death, and you think she may need to talk to her doctor.

A woman in her situation, someone who has never made a decision for herself since the day she was married (or maybe longer), is in a terrible pickle. She needs a mentor because she will have to learn self-sufficiency from the ground up. So be prepared to share every bit of wisdom you can with her.

DEAR ABBY: A child was found dead in our area. He died from blunt force trauma to his head. His mother had reported him missing, and 12 hours later his younger brother found his body. It's not being called murder, although everyone around here suspects it was.

I went to the visitation the first night, and I have never seen so many kids attend a funeral without a parent. I was appalled. You don't send children to a child's funeral alone. I felt terrible for them. They lost a good friend and didn't have their parents there to help them cope.

I realize that people have to work, but the visitation was from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. The funeral was at 11 a.m. the next day. One adult I spoke with said she didn't go because she couldn't stand to see the child that way. She couldn't take it, so I had to be there for her daughter.

Don't people understand it's not about them? Parents need to realize their kids may have a lot of questions and mixed-up emotions and need to talk. What do you think of this? -- SAD MOM IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR SAD MOM: I think you have written an important letter. Parents, if this letter strikes a familiar chord, please wake up and reprioritize. Your children need you -- especially at a time like this -- to help them talk through any fears and anxieties they are experiencing.

DEAR ABBY: I was in and out of a relationship with "Bob" for four years, and we recently split up again. Last September I bought an airline ticket for him to accompany me on a Florida vacation, but we broke up, so I cashed in his ticket.

Bob keeps calling me and saying he wants his "present" so he can go away. I said, "No way!" Was I wrong? -- HURT IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR HURT: Heck, no! The ticket was purchased with the understanding that Bob would accompany you to Florida. Because you are now on the outs (again) and it's not going to happen, why treat him to a free trip? Frankly, I think he has nerve to suggest otherwise, and if you're smart, the response you'll give him the next time he calls with his hand out will be, "Don't call me again."