life

Licensed Tax Professionals Come With Different Titles

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 25th, 2010

DEAR ABBY: Regarding your column of April 12, 2010, and the letter about the man who refuses to file tax returns, your answer was only partially correct. In addition to enrolled agents, tax returns are also prepared by other licensed professionals.

Certified public accountants are regulated by the various states and do a great deal of tax preparation.

Some tax attorneys may prepare income tax returns. The failure to file a tax return could be a crime, in which case the individual would need a tax attorney to represent him in trying to avoid a jail sentence. Communications to tax attorneys may be covered by the attorney-client privilege.

In addition, there are practitioners who are qualified both as attorneys and as CPAs. While many enrolled agents may also be CPAs, or even attorneys, you should not have restricted your recommendation to enrolled agents only. -- SYDNEY S. TRAUM, JD-CPA, MIAMI BEACH, FLA.

DEAR SYDNEY: My thanks to you and the countless other CPAs and attorneys who wrote to correct me. I apologize for the omission. After wading through the tidal wave of mail, I contacted the National Association of Enrolled Agents (NAEA) for clarification and was told:

"There are many outstanding tax practitioners who are attorneys or CPAs, some of whom are members of NAEA. We do not wish to imply in any way that they are less qualified or capable in the field of taxation. We just want to call attention to the profession of enrolled agents and let the public know that they are the only tax practitioners SPECIFICALLY licensed by the Department of the Treasury."

Readers, I hope this straightens out any confusion. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I was intrigued by the letter from the woman whose boyfriend has refused to file tax returns for eight years. In addition to the civil ramifications of refusing to file the tax return as articulated in your response, it is a federal crime not to file one.

An individual who has the requisite income is punishable for up to three years in prison for failure to file a tax return for each year in which he or she is responsible for filing one. Additionally, it can be construed by the government as tax evasion, for which the maximum penalty includes five years imprisonment for each year in which the tax is evaded. -- DENNIS C. KAINEN, MIAMI BEACH, FLA.

DEAR ABBY: My 12-year marriage to someone just like the man in that letter became a financial disaster. Even though I did file separately, I co-signed home, car and credit card loans with him. It has taken me more than 10 years to regain my good credit and restore my dignity.

If she does marry him, he will display immaturity in other areas -- as a husband, a father, an employee -- and she will look back (as I did) and realize what a horrible mistake she made. She should not ignore this important signpost! Please warn her to wake up before it's too late. -- BEEN THERE, DONE THAT, ROCHESTER, N.Y.

life

Family in Free Fall Needs Someone to Provide a Net

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 24th, 2010 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: My brother passed away a year ago, leaving a wife and five children. They are wonderful, well-behaved kids. Unfortunately, my brother appears to have been the one who kept everybody on schedule and made all the decisions. My sister-in-law just did whatever he said, deciding nothing on her own. Now that he's gone, the family seems to be falling apart.

The kids spend very little time at home, and they never eat together as a family anymore -- something I know is necessary these days to keep tabs on what the kids are up to. I could go into detail about how things have gone to pot, but I want to keep this brief. It breaks my heart to see it happen.

I would love to have a little chat with my sister-in-law to explain to her that she must step up to the plate and be the adult. How does one broach the subject without alienating her? -- LOVING AUNT IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR LOVING AUNT: Start by telling this widowed mother of five that you are worried about her, that you're concerned she may be chronically depressed over her husband's death, and you think she may need to talk to her doctor.

A woman in her situation, someone who has never made a decision for herself since the day she was married (or maybe longer), is in a terrible pickle. She needs a mentor because she will have to learn self-sufficiency from the ground up. So be prepared to share every bit of wisdom you can with her.

life

Dear Abby for May 24, 2010

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 24th, 2010 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: A child was found dead in our area. He died from blunt force trauma to his head. His mother had reported him missing, and 12 hours later his younger brother found his body. It's not being called murder, although everyone around here suspects it was.

I went to the visitation the first night, and I have never seen so many kids attend a funeral without a parent. I was appalled. You don't send children to a child's funeral alone. I felt terrible for them. They lost a good friend and didn't have their parents there to help them cope.

I realize that people have to work, but the visitation was from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. The funeral was at 11 a.m. the next day. One adult I spoke with said she didn't go because she couldn't stand to see the child that way. She couldn't take it, so I had to be there for her daughter.

Don't people understand it's not about them? Parents need to realize their kids may have a lot of questions and mixed-up emotions and need to talk. What do you think of this? -- SAD MOM IN THE U.S.A.

DEAR SAD MOM: I think you have written an important letter. Parents, if this letter strikes a familiar chord, please wake up and reprioritize. Your children need you -- especially at a time like this -- to help them talk through any fears and anxieties they are experiencing.

life

Dear Abby for May 24, 2010

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 24th, 2010 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I was in and out of a relationship with "Bob" for four years, and we recently split up again. Last September I bought an airline ticket for him to accompany me on a Florida vacation, but we broke up, so I cashed in his ticket.

Bob keeps calling me and saying he wants his "present" so he can go away. I said, "No way!" Was I wrong? -- HURT IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR HURT: Heck, no! The ticket was purchased with the understanding that Bob would accompany you to Florida. Because you are now on the outs (again) and it's not going to happen, why treat him to a free trip? Frankly, I think he has nerve to suggest otherwise, and if you're smart, the response you'll give him the next time he calls with his hand out will be, "Don't call me again."

life

Wife Must Deliver a Message to Husband Opening Her Mail

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 23rd, 2010 | Letter 1 of 3

DEAR ABBY: "Ethan" and I have been married 36 years. He's a good and caring husband, but he has a habit that irritates me no end. He opens our mail -- whether it's addressed to him or not.

I have nothing to hide and I always show or mention what I receive. I don't open mail that's addressed to him and would appreciate the courtesy of being able to open mail that's addressed to me. However, Ethan won't stop and insists that there is nothing wrong with what he's doing.

I'm about to the point of opening a post office box in my name and having my mail sent there, but it seems silly to go to that extreme. Am I being overly sensitive? -- FRUSTRATED IN GILMER, TEXAS

DEAR FRUSTRATED: If this were just about Ethan opening your mail, I'd say that after 36 years you might be overreacting. However, it seems to me that what's really bothering you is less about your mail being opened and more that your husband continues to disregard your wishes and does it over your objection. THAT'S what you need to get across to him, and if opening a post office box in your name will make the point, then that's what you should do.

life

Dear Abby for May 23, 2010

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 23rd, 2010 | Letter 2 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I have a question that isn't earth-shaking, but concerns a lot of people my age. Each year as I grow older and read my friends' obituaries I think about my own and how I would personally like mine to read. I would like to spare my family the difficulty of trying to sort through the details of my life.

I'm wondering just what is supposed to go into an obituary. As a professional, I have information about that side of my life. It's the personal part I'm wondering about. Are there any rules on this? What is expected or accepted? I'm sure there are others who would also welcome suggestions on this. -- THINKING AHEAD IN EAU CLAIRE, WIS.

DEAR THINKING AHEAD: Most obituaries are paid advertisements, and they can be as long or brief as the family wishes. Some are simple, mentioning date and place of birth, the names of the deceased's parents, as well as spouse, siblings, children and grandchildren. Business and personal achievements are often, but not always, included. However, I have also seen obituaries that were excerpted from eulogies. To find out more information, you should inquire at your local newspaper.

life

Dear Abby for May 23, 2010

Dear Abby by by Abigail Van Buren
by Abigail Van Buren
Dear Abby | May 23rd, 2010 | Letter 3 of 3

DEAR ABBY: I have been searching for a new job (unbeknownst to my current employer), and have been fortunate enough to get a few interviews. For the most part, they have been scheduled during business hours. I feel guilty making excuses to get out and attend them.

What would your advice be for someone in my position? Is there a better way to get around having to make up excuses to my employer? -- FEELING GUILTY IN TEXAS

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: I can think of two. When your interviews are being scheduled, let your prospective employer know that you're still working and ask if your interview can be before or after work or during your lunch break. If that's not possible, then rather than lie to your boss, ask to come in later or leave early and have it subtracted from your "personal time."

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