DEAR ABBY: My co-workers and I would like your opinion on the following question: Is it appropriate to ask about the salary during a job interview? Half of us say, "Yes. When better to ask what the pay will be?" Others say, "No, it's in poor taste." What do you think? -- ALL BETS ARE IN

DEAR ALL: Of course the subject of salary should be discussed during a job interview. Usually, when an interview is nearing its end, the interviewer will ask, "Do you have any questions?" If the topics of salary and benefits haven't come up before then, it's perfectly acceptable to inquire about them.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of more than 20 years decided that the grass was greener on the other side, and now I find myself on the dating scene again. I had breast reduction surgery, thinking I would be with my husband for the rest of my life. Now I don't know how to bring up the subject if I find a man with whom I want to be intimate.

I know a man should love me for who I am on the inside, but I can't help but feel that the scars I carry on the outside will make him turn and walk away. Not a day goes by that I don't regret having had the surgery, but there is nothing I can do about that now.

When do I tell the guy about my scars? I don't want this to get in the way of sharing my life with someone. -- SCARRED IN ARIZONA

DEAR SCARRED: Many women have had breast reductions -- some for aesthetic reasons, but others because nature blessed them with such an overabundance of tissue that it was creating painful back and shoulder problems. The surgery is neither shocking nor particularly unusual.

The time to discuss it is when you have gotten to know someone well enough that you can talk frankly with him and explain that you feel self-conscious. No gentleman who cares about you will ever walk away. And any man who does, you are well rid of before investing your heart -- or anything else -- in him.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Rick," and I have been married 20 years. He's a veteran who is completely disabled. We live in a very secluded area. The nearest town is 60 miles away, and I can't be gone long because of Rick's needs.

Abby, I'm lonely. My family lives in another state. Rick said years ago that we would move to where my family members are. But now he refuses because he doesn't want to leave his comfort zone.

Some days I am more down than others. Our home is on the market, but we won't be going far -- just a bit closer to the town where Rick's family is. When I bring up the subject of missing my relatives, Rick gets angry so I don't say anything anymore. I long for my family -- and for many other things as well. Could you share your feelings on this, please? -- NOWHERE IN MONTANA

DEAR NOWHERE: Gladly. Because your husband refuses to move to where your family members are, keep your fingers crossed that it won't be too long before you find a buyer for your current home. Do move closer to his family. At least then you won't be so isolated. And once you're closer to his family, THEY can look out for him while you schedule some visits to your family. If you go a couple of times a year, it could make a big difference in your outlook.

DEAR ABBY: "Just Clumsy in Amarillo" (March 24) could be my twin. I am also a klutz who bruises easily. Years ago, when I was a brand-new EMT, my arms were so bruised and purple from lifting stretchers that co-workers started asking if my husband was beating me. Luckily, my husband, a submariner, was on patrol at that time so it let him off the hook.

My husband used to tell me the only reason he didn't worry too much about me at work was because I wore steel-toed boots, and he suggested I buy steel-toed flip-flops and slippers. I can walk through the house and trip over nothing at all. I once broke all the toes on one foot sliding off an exam table in a doctor's office.

Tell "Clumsy" to hang in there. She's not alone. Lord knows there are a lot of us klutzes out there and she's in good company. As long as she can keep a sense of humor about her condition, she'll be fine. -- ANOTHER KLUTZ IN UTAH

DEAR ANOTHER KLUTZ: I received many responses regarding being accident-prone. While many readers shared their "graceless" moments, others pointed out that it could be caused by a medical problem. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I have an inherited neuromuscular disorder called Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease, also known as CMT. It is also called motor sensory neuropathy or peroneal muscular atrophy.

CMT affects the peripheral nerves. A common symptom is short wide feet with very high arches, weak ankles, and tripping over our own feet. Falling UP the stairs is what we do best. At family reunions, we sit around comparing our funny feet and the bruises from our frequent falls.

"Clumsy" should see a neurologist for nerve conduction testing. The extent of her frequent "accidents" and bruising is not normal, and she needs to know what the problem is. -- ESTHER, AN R.N. IN IDAHO

DEAR ABBY: You were right to tell "Clumsy" that she shouldn't avoid her friends as that would only increase their suspicions. However, she also needs to include her fiance more in their social activities. If her friends get to know him and discover that he is a kind and compassionate person who respects boundaries and knows how to control his temper, their suspicions of abuse will be allayed. -- CARLA IN VIRGINIA

DEAR ABBY: As a child, my mother always chided me to "watch out, pay attention and look where you are going." I had bruises all over from bumping into things. At 45, I learned from an ophthalmologist that I had NO depth perception. Now I understand why I must look down when stepping off curbs or drive five car lengths behind other cars, etc. "Clumsy" needs to get a thorough eye exam and have her depth perception measured. -- MADE SENSE OF IT

DEAR ABBY: I am 31 and have been clumsy all my life. I have fallen on ice a few times this winter, even though I tried to be very cautious. Thankfully, I have sustained only some bruises and a few pulled muscles -- no broken bones.

I, too, have seen the looks, rolled eyes and heard the sighs of concerned friends. It's hard not to become defensive when your friends might have a negative perception of your husband. I just smile and make playful reference to the fact that this has been going on far longer than I've known my husband.

To "Clumsy": Drink plenty of milk to keep your bones strong, and maintain a lighthearted attitude when the subject comes up. -- NOT-SO-GRACIE IN NEW YORK

DEAR ABBY: I recently got genital herpes. I am very depressed over it and am experiencing a lot of difficulties, not to mention the expense.

The man I caught the virus from, "Jack," claims he didn't know he had herpes. I don't know what to believe, except that I should be compensated. My life has been destroyed. I hate the fact that this happened and, to top it off, Jack has changed his phone number! Is this a criminal act? Should I take action? -- OUTRAGED IN MISSOURI

DEAR OUTRAGED: Please do not allow having herpes to define who you are. Your life has not been "destroyed." You contracted a virus, as millions of other Americans have. While inconvenient, it is not the end of the world. What you need is emotional support, and it's as near as your computer. There are support groups for people who have herpes -- just Google "herpes support groups-USA" and you'll find groups galore.

As to whether to take legal action against "Jack," please remember that lawsuits can be expensive. And to determine whether he knew he had herpes at the time he was involved with you, you would have to get a hold of his medical records -- which could be complicated. Your time and money would be better spent in other ways than looking backward, and that's what I recommend.

DEAR ABBY: I am 35 years old and the mother of two children. The oldest is 4 and my little one just turned 1.

My mother-in-law had gastric bypass surgery two years ago. She lost a lot of weight and looks great, having gone from a size 16 to a size 4.

My problem is the comments she makes about my weight in the presence of others. For example, "Do you see that 'Cate' is so big-boned and I am so petite?" It hurts, and I don't know what to do about it. What can I say to her the next time she says something like that? -- "CATE" IN OKLAHOMA CITY

DEAR "CATE": Don't wait for your mother-in-law to say something about your weight in front of others. Tell her clearly, in advance, that her comparisons are hurtful and you want them stopped immediately. And if she doesn't comply, the next time she does it, smile and say, "We can all see that you're petite and I'm not, but I'll always be younger."

DEAR ABBY: Early this year, my mother went to the curb to collect the empty trash bin and put it away for the week. As she wheeled it behind her home, she slipped on the ice and broke her hip. She lives alone and was in the back of her property where nobody could see or hear her.

Fortunately, she'd had the foresight to grab her cell phone before she went outside. Because she was unable to stand up she could have frozen to death. She called 911 and within minutes an ambulance arrived to take her to the hospital.

Mom had surgery to repair the hip and is recovering, but it was a close call. This is a reminder to your readers that if they live alone -- or have parents who do -- to make sure to have a cell phone available at all times. -- RELIEVED SON IN ELKHART, IND.

DEAR RELIEVED SON: I'm pleased to pass along your important message. Your mother did, indeed, have a close call. It must have been her guardian angel who handed her her cell phone as she left the house that wintry day. Please tell her I said so and that I hope she's better soon.