DEAR ABBY: I am a plus-sized woman who finds it difficult to squeeze into a tiny restroom stall. I frequently use the stall for people with disabilities because it's larger.

A few years ago, when I was traveling with my mother, we made a pit stop and, as usual, I headed for the large stall. Mom was horrified. She said the large stalls should be treated the same as parking places for people with disabilities and used only by those who are disabled.

I told her I disagreed, thinking that a few moments in the potty is different from a few hours in a parking space. Was my mother right? Her voice still rings in my ears every time I step into the larger stall. I'd appreciate your input. Maybe it'll silence my mother's voice. -- JENNIFER IN MAINE

DEAR JENNIFER: Because you have difficulty fitting into a regular stall, I see nothing wrong with using the larger one. If a woman in a wheelchair entered the bathroom at the same time as you, then good manners would dictate that you defer to her because she'd be unable to use a smaller one. However, there's no reason for the stall to be kept empty at all times, so stop being so hard on yourself.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have two children, a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old. He has been deployed since June. We talk frequently on the phone, and I have been managing well since his deployment.

My problem is, I'm afraid I have managed too well. I am terrified that when he gets back we will have grown apart. I am so used to doing things on my own now that I'm not sure I will be able to go back to our "normal" routine of his helping me with the kids.

Abby, what are your thoughts? We love each other very much and had a wonderful relationship before he deployed, but I don't know how well you can gauge a relationship over the phone and via e-mail. -- ARMY WIFE IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR ARMY WIFE: The feelings you're having are not unusual for spouses whose partners are in the military. The repeated separations are painful and wrenching for all the family members involved. I have a deep respect for the spouses of military personnel who must adapt to long separations and the reunions that follow.

Of course there will be a period of adjustment when your husband returns. It will take understanding and compromise on the part of both of you. If you love each other, you will work it out -- with counseling if necessary. And should you hit a rough patch, please don't hesitate to reach out for it.

DEAR ABBY: My husband lost his son a few years back. His death was sudden and unexpected. We had no children of our own, but I had a wonderful relationship with my stepson.

When people ask if I have children, I'm never quite sure how to respond. On the one hand, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by telling them my stepson is deceased, but I also don't feel right not acknowledging him. Any advice on how to handle this kind of question? -- STEPMOM IN OTTAWA, ONTARIO, CANADA

DEAR STEPMOM: I'm sorry for the loss of your stepson. When you are asked, my advice is to be honest. Say, "I had a stepson with whom I was very close, but he passed away a few years ago."

DEAR ABBY: My fiancee, "Cheryl," and I are in our early 30s and recently made an extremely difficult decision. We decided to terminate her pregnancy at six weeks. Cheryl's sister "Nicki" -- my future sister-in-law -- is opposed to abortion and now no longer wants to talk to me or have anything to do with me.

I have tried reaching out to Nicki to explain the reasons for our decision, but it has fallen on deaf ears. Should I continue asking her for forgiveness, or have I done enough already? This is causing Cheryl a great deal of pain, and I don't believe that it's fair for Nicki to punish me for a personal family decision. Please let me know your thoughts. -- CHERYL'S FIANCE IN PHOENIX

DEAR FIANCE: So how did Nicki get inserted in the middle of something that was none of her business in the first place? Surely, she didn't have a vote. Nicki is entitled to her feelings, but she has no right to punish you for a decision that was arrived at by both you and her sister. And the person to make that crystal clear to Nicki is Cheryl, not you, so stop apologizing.

The decision to terminate a pregnancy is an extremely sensitive one and never one that is taken lightly. Every decision has consequences, and I am sure that you and your fiancee accepted that when you made yours.

DEAR ABBY: Many senior citizens, including me, never get a phone call, visit or e-mail from our children or grandchildren. They say they're too busy with school, sports, etc. I say baloney!

Is this present generation so narcissistic that all they can think of is themselves? Your answer will go to many, many seniors who would like some communication once in a while. -- WAITING BY THE PHONE, FRIENDSWOOD, TEXAS

DEAR WAITING: There are far more constructive and rewarding things to do with your time than wait fuming by your phone because you feel you're not receiving enough attention. One of them would be to reach out and contact your children and grandchildren yourself. Others include getting out of your house, volunteering at a hospital (a pediatric ward, perhaps?), library, animal rescue or your political party -- ANYTHING but sit around feeling angry and isolated.

There is more pressure on families today than at any time I can remember. Many teens are so overscheduled and pressured to succeed they don't get enough sleep. So please try to judge them less harshly.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is a computer programmer. When he calls me from work I can hear him typing on his keyboard. I find this as rude as people texting while they're in the company of others. My husband thinks it is just fine and becomes angry if I mention it. What do you think? -- ANNOYED IN IMPERIAL BEACH, CALIF.

DEAR ANNOYED: I think that when your husband is working, he should devote his full attention to the job he's being paid to do. And as accomplished as your husband may think he is at multitasking, it is unfair to his boss to chat you up on company time. He should be making his personal calls during his breaks -- away from his computer.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

DEAR ABBY: My brother is a lifelong drug addict who has spent the last two decades in and out of jail. He rarely works and has no permanent residence, finding shelter instead with various friends, girlfriends and sometimes sleeping in his broken-down vehicle. When he calls me, it's always with some creative story and a request to send him money. The money I have sent over the years has gone to pay for his new drug fix, not to resolve whatever problem his sob story was about.

Recently, our grandmother died and she left each of us some money. As her executor, I am responsible for making sure my brother gets his share. While I want him to benefit from this modest inheritance, I'm afraid he will use it to buy drugs -- possibly enough drugs to harm himself, if unintentionally. Obviously, this is not what our grandmother would have wanted. How can I make sure this money goes to help, and not further enable, my drug-addicted sibling? -- CONFLICTED SIS IN MARYLAND

DEAR CONFLICTED: Consult an attorney, preferably one who has experience with wills and trusts, and see if some arrangement can be made that ensures your brother has a roof over his head and won't starve. It may be possible that something can be worked out so his necessities would be paid for him, without his actually getting his hands on the money.

DEAR ABBY: I have been left confused and bitter over the loss of my best friend, "Sally." I expected to go to her children's weddings and be there for the birth of her grandchildren.

Sally had an affair, which I knew about. When her husband, "John," found out, he called me asking why I didn't tell him. After that horrible phone call, during which I lied to protect Sally, I never heard from them again.

Had I known this would happen I would have told John the truth. Instead of leaving her husband, Sally gave up her friendship with me. What did I do wrong? Should I be punished for listening to her? What would you advise your readers to do when someone starts telling them about an affair they're having? -- THROWN UNDER THE BUS, BELLEVUE, WASH.

DEAR UNDER THE BUS: What you did "wrong" was allow yourself to be dragged into that mess as a co-conspirator. Silence implies agreement. Once John realized you knew all about her affair and lied, you became as guilty in his eyes as Sally and her lover. My advice to readers about what to do when someone starts telling them about an affair? Stay out of the line of fire by telling the person you don't want to hear it.

DEAR ABBY: Like many parents, my husband and I would like our three children to read more. And they, like many children, would prefer to watch more television. We arrived at a compromise, and I would like to share it with your readers.

Many television shows are also available with closed captioning. For those who don't know what closed captioning is -- it is a service available on most TVs that shows what is being broadcast via audio. We mute the television and have the children read the words instead of listening. It works great! Their reading skills have soared, and I have noticed they are now reading more books than they used to. In addition, I really enjoy the quiet time while we're watching the TV.

Please pass this strategy on. Some of our friends are also doing it and feel it has helped their children, too. -- PROUD PARENTS

DEAR PROUD PARENTS: I'm pleased to spread the word. Closed captioning, which was originally intended for use by people with hearing disabilities, can also be very helpful for individuals who are learning English as a second language.