DEAR ABBY: I am an average 17-year-old girl with a big problem. A few days ago, my cousin's boyfriend touched me inappropriately. It took a few seconds for me to realize what was happening and stop him. I got up and left the room.

I don't want to tell my mom because she shares what we talk about with other people. I don't want to tell my cousin because she loves her boyfriend, and if I ruin this for her, she'll never speak to me again. I have seen her do it with other people.

My cousin visits my house every day with her boyfriend. I have been leaving for hours so I won't have to see him. Please help me. What other option do I have besides telling somebody? -- STAYING SILENT IN GUAM

DEAR STAYING SILENT: You have two options. You can remain silent and let your cousin marry a man who has so little self-control that he would not only hit on another woman, but one who is a close relative of hers. Or you can tell your parents what happened so your cousin can be warned, and possibly save her from a world of heartache later on. Please be brave and do the right thing.

DEAR ABBY: I know most of your readers are women, but could you please spread awareness of female-on-male domestic violence? You have done a great job with male-on-female abuse awareness, and I think American society is fairly well saturated with it. But there is little out there for men who have been or are being abused. -- MINNESOTA READER

DEAR READER: Domestic violence is not restricted to any social, racial, religious, economic group or particular gender. And while male victims may be embarrassed to disclose it, men can be victims of domestic violence, too.

In years past, men were hesitant to call a domestic abuse hotline when there was a crisis because they were ashamed, had been bullied into thinking they "deserved it," or were afraid they wouldn't be believed. That is no longer the case.

Male victims of domestic violence can find help by contacting the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men and Women. The organization's toll-free helpline is (888) 743-5754 or log onto its Web site at www.dahmw.org. Another organization, SAFE (Stop Abuse for Everyone), also assists victims of abuse regardless of age, gender or sexual orientation. Its Web site is www.safe4all.org.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together 10 months. I'm 18, and feel I have met the man of my dreams. We were friends for a long time before we became a couple.

My question is: Do you think a couple can spend too much time together? Every minute, every hour and every day that we can spend together we do -- and I love it. But I don't want this to ruin our relationship. Am I doing the right thing? -- CONFUSED IN MISSISSAUGA, ONTARIO

DEAR CONFUSED: You're a smart cookie and that's a very intelligent question. Although it's tempting, do not allow the romance to take up every available moment. Continue to devote time to your friends and to outside interests. It will make you a much more interesting person to be around, and you won't lose your independence.

DEAR ABBY: I have been overly neat since I was in middle school. I am now in college and feel I have reached the breaking point because I'm such a neat freak. I love having everything neat and tidy, but I now spend less time being a 22-year-old and more time cleaning, scrubbing and organizing.

I can't sleep if I know there is clutter somewhere in the apartment. I have passed up going out with friends if my apartment isn't perfect. Everything has a place and a label. It's getting tiring because I realize I haven't had any good wholesome fun in a long time. I wish I could relax and be OK with clutter like everyone else, instead of wasting my life cleaning. Any advice? -- OVERLY ORGANIZED IN TEXAS

DEAR OVERLY ORGANIZED: Yes, I do. March yourself to the student health center and discuss this with a counselor there. When the compulsion to have your apartment "perfect" trumps your ability to enjoy your life, it's time to accept that you have gone from neat to obsessive. There is treatment for the problem, and once it begins you will be able to relax and let go of your anxiety. So please don't wait to get the help you need.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 20-year-old female who has been dating my boyfriend, "Will," for three years. Our long-distance relationship was going along just fine until the topic of his 21st birthday came up recently. Will mentioned in passing that he's planning on going to a strip club with friends to celebrate this momentous birthday.

Will says he just likes to look at women, that all men do and it's completely fine. He didn't seem to care how I felt about it. His mind was already made up. He wants me to be more accepting of who he is, but it turns my stomach to think of him hanging out at a strip club.

Abby, is a young man in a committed relationship going to a strip club to drink and view naked women "normal"? Should I not take this so personally? Or am I right to see this as a lack of commitment to me? -- OFFENDED IN FORT COLLINS, COLO.

DEAR OFFENDED: If your boyfriend had attempted to hide his plans from you, or if he was planning on frequenting strip clubs alone and often, I'd say you should feel threatened. But he was open about going out to celebrate his "momentous" birthday with his friends -- and plenty of women have been known to visit clubs with male dancers. So calm down. This has nothing to do with his "commitment" to you.

DEAR ABBY: I am 42 years old and being married for the first time in October. My parents divorced more than 20 years ago and both remarried. My father will walk me down the aisle.

Dad lost my stepmother two years ago, and is still having a hard time with it emotionally. Because of my age, I don't expect anything from my parents except their emotional support.

If it's all right with my parents, do you think it would be appropriate to put on the invitations, "In lieu of gifts, please make a donation to the American Cancer Society in memory of (my stepmother's name)"? -- LOVING DAUGHTER IN ARLINGTON, TEXAS

DEAR LOVING DAUGHTER: You are a sweetheart to think of it, but doing so would be a huge breach of etiquette. In fact, any mention of gifts on a wedding invitation is a no-no. The way to handle it is, when asked where you are registered for gifts, to verbally inform the questioner what your wishes are.

DEAR ABBY: "Milwaukee Grandma" (Feb. 16) was "appalled to see the number of adults who forced their children to eat" in restaurants. "Grandma" is absolutely right. Children will eat when hungry and stop when they have had enough. The old saying "Clean your plate" is contributing to the obesity epidemic. Children are born with the ability to self-regulate their food intake. Notice how many babies move their heads away from the bottle or breast when they are full.

Eating out is expensive, and restaurants tend to serve portions that are larger than necessary for a child's small stomach. Instead of forcing the child to finish, parents should take half the dinner home for a later time.

The obesity epidemic is based on many factors, including excessive meal portions, decreased physical activity, abundance of junk food, and lack of available and affordable healthy foods in some areas of the country -- to name a few.

Parents can make a difference by involving their children in the shopping for and preparation of meals, eating as a family with the TV shut off and making activity fun and a part of the everyday routine. -- DIETITIAN IN GARDNER, MASS.

DEAR DIETITIAN: Thank you for enlightening me regarding the obesity epidemic. A number of other readers weighed in on the topic with interesting insights. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I was raised by parents who forced me to "clean my plate or else." They were the ones who fixed my plate or decided what to order us kids in restaurants. Eating became a negative experience as I was growing up.

It wasn't until I got counseling prior to my gastric bypass surgery that I learned to stop eating when I was full instead of feeling guilty unless I cleaned my plate. In counseling, I was told it was OK to leave food on my plate -- but by then I weighed 400 pounds.

It's better to teach children to eat at mealtime, be responsible when it comes to snacking and "listen to your body" when it says, "I'm full." -- HAPPY WITH MY WEIGHT NOW

DEAR ABBY: As a family and consumer sciences educator, one of the courses I teach in child development is "division of responsibility." This means it's the parents' responsibility to offer nutritious food choices to their children, and the children's responsibility to decide how much to eat.

By forcing children to "clean their plate," we are overriding the natural programming they are born with that tells them when they are full and to stop eating. When we teach children to eat past natural satiation, obesity is the natural consequence. -- LAURA IN MOSCOW, IDAHO

DEAR ABBY: We have one child with severe food allergies and two others who have ADD and emotional issues. Their medications decrease their appetites, which makes it difficult for them to gain weight and grow. We may be the parents "Milwaukee Grandma" is referring to as we urge our children to eat more.

There are many children out there with medical challenges that make getting enough nutrients difficult. Other illnesses require some kids to consume a certain number of calories. For some, being in the "Clean Plate Club" is critical to their health and well-being. -- MOM TO 4 SKINNY KIDS