DEAR ABBY: I have been married for seven years to a man who curses something awful. We have three children, and he curses at them, too, when he's angry. I'm afraid his verbal abuse is destroying our children's self-esteem, and I have asked him repeatedly to stop it. I even threatened to leave if he doesn't clean up his act.

When he swears, it sends shivers up my spine and I get angry. We used to have heated arguments, but I have learned to watch my mouth. I thought he would get the idea if I set an example, but he didn't even notice.

He was in the Navy, and for a long time he blamed his cursing on his time in the military. Well, he has been out for 12 years now and that excuse is a little tired. I have made plans to leave him and will stick with my decision unless he's willing to make a serious effort to control his mouth. In the meantime, what do you suggest I do? I've tried everything -- even prayer. -- READY TO WALK IN VIRGINIA

DEAR READY TO WALK: In the "meantime," try earplugs for the children and a swear box for your salty-mouthed spouse. (If you don't know what a swear box is, it's a container into which an agreed-upon amount of money is placed every time a curse word is uttered.) Use the proceeds to tide you over after you've left him if the swear box doesn't cure him.

DEAR ABBY: I have a delicate problem. My boss's wife wears a very strong perfume. Every time she walks into the office, I get a headache and feel nauseated for hours. I am allergic to perfume, and women do not seem to understand that while they "think" they smell good, they are really making me sick.

When the boss's wife comes in, I try to stay in my office, but the smell is so overpowering I can't escape. How should I handle this? -- HOLDING MY BREATH IN TALLADEGA, ALA.

DEAR HOLDING: For the sake of your health, you must speak to your employer and explain your sensitivity to perfumes and the effect they have on you. You are far from alone in this problem -- many others also have allergic reactions when exposed to perfumes, after-shave or scented products of any kind.

Ask your boss to please ask his wife to forgo the perfume when she visits the office because it gives you a headache and an upset stomach. How else will he -- or she -- know there's a problem?

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating "Carolyn" for about a year. We are both in our 50s and have talked about marriage in the future.

Before we met, Carolyn had profiles on two dating sites -- not as a paid member, but just as someone who could look around without being able to send or receive messages.

I have asked her to delete these profiles now that we have reached the one-year mark. She says I shouldn't be concerned, that she's just interested in reading about other people. She insists she wants to be only with me and isn't looking to go out with anyone else.

Abby, this doesn't sit well with me. What do you think? -- EXCLUSIVELY HERS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR EXCLUSIVELY HERS: I think you don't trust Carolyn. Unless you're convinced that she's "exclusively" yours -- and you're not -- you should rethink your future with her. If you're discussing marriage, she shouldn't be disregarding your feelings.

DEAR ABBY: My in-laws (whom I love dearly) moved to another state after retirement, and when they come to visit they always stay with us. They own a house next door that is occupied by their daughter, and they also have another child living nearby.

How can I politely suggest that they stay in their own house with their daughter or with the other child? Both have the space to accommodate them. I work very early morning hours and don't want to disturb them, but they pretty much take over our house when they are here. I don't know if the other children offer them a place to stay or not, but I'm tired of having them here every time they visit. -- STUCK IN THE SOUTHWEST

DEAR STUCK: Discuss this with your husband and his siblings. It's possible that the other children haven't extended an invitation to the parents to stay with them.

And if you view it from another perspective, it's unfair to the others that the parents slight them by staying with you when they're in town.

DEAR ABBY: I am not gay or bisexual, but I'm in love with my boss, who is a female like me. She's 27 and I am 17. She is married and doesn't know how I feel about her.

I looked up her address on the Internet and got directions to her house. I drive by every day -- don't ask me why. I told her I have a friend who lives on the same street that she does, and that I saw her car in the driveway.

About a month ago, she caught me driving by as she was pulling out of her driveway. Two days ago, she called my mother -- they have been friends for years -- and asked, "What's wrong with 'Janie'? She pulled my address up from a computer. I saw her driving past my house."

That's all my mom told me, but how in the heck did she find out? I still have the printout in my bedroom, and it's still in the same position it was, so I don't think my mom saw it and told her about it. Only three of my closest friends know, and I don't think they repeated anything because they have no reason to -- and they don't know my boss. What's going on here? Am I going crazy? -- FOUND OUT IN FLORIDA

DEAR FOUND OUT: What's "going on" is you have become obsessed with your boss, and your trips past her house could be construed as stalking. You are not "going crazy," but you definitely need counseling. Please tell your mother I said so.

DEAR ABBY: "College Co-Ed in Williamsburg, Va." (Feb. 10) was concerned about her mother opening and reading her bills and statements. There's another option you didn't address.

If it is too much bother to rent a post office box near her college and have the mail forwarded to her parents' home during semester breaks, a simpler and easier option is "paperless" bank statements. Most banks and companies let you choose to receive your statements electronically.

"Co-Ed" can go online to the various entities from whom she receives regular bills and select the "paperless billing" or "paperless statement" option under her account settings. When new bills/statements are available, she'll get an e-mail from each company informing her she can log in to her account to review her statements and bills.

This way, her mother can't see her bills and bank statements, and she'll have the satisfaction of knowing she is doing her bit for the environment. -- SAVVY ONLINE CONSUMER IN SAN ANTONIO

DEAR SAVVY: You know what? You're absolutely right. And so are the hundreds of other readers who wrote to say the same thing. Thank you.

To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have been together for a number of years, and were close friends before dating. We have lived together for 10 months now and pretty much act like a married couple. I feel I am ready to become engaged.

He, on the other hand, feels we should wait until his 16-year-old daughter, "Lacy," moves out -- either back with her mother or on her own. He doesn't feel it's "right" for us to marry before then.

We are both adults, and while I don't want to disregard Lacy's feelings, I think this is something WE should decide. We have told her many times that our relationship doesn't mean Daddy loves her any less.

Something in me is beginning to think he's just making excuses and he won't "buy the cow" as long as he's getting the milk for free. I feel like I am ... FLOATING IN LIMBO IN DELAWARE

DEAR IN LIMBO: You and your boyfriend need to have a frank talk because it appears you thought moving in with him would bring you a firm commitment, and he appears to be happy with the status quo. If you haven't already done so, tell him exactly what you have told me, because what you have written makes perfect sense. And if he's unwilling to budge, then it's time for you to "moo-ve" out.

DEAR ABBY: I recently attended a funeral of someone close. It was a sad time for me, but it sparked an idea that may bring comfort to my family and friends when it's my time to go.

Abby, would it be out of line to make a goodbye video of myself? It would include fond memories that would put a smile on someone's face and allow my family and friends to remember me as I was alive, not as I lay in a coffin. Instead of a plastic bookmark, I could leave a DVD of my final goodbyes.

I have a health problem and don't know how long I have, so I'd like to know what you and your readers think about my idea. I trust your advice, Abby, so please let me know. -- FINAL FAREWELL, UPSTATE NEW YORK

DEAR FAREWELL: As long as your video is done tastefully, I see no reason why you shouldn't do it. We live in an age when video and YouTube are a part of our everyday lives. I'm sure your memento will be treasured by the loved ones you leave behind.

DEAR ABBY: For Valentine's Day I bought a dozen red roses and had them delivered to my girlfriend's workplace. On her way home that evening, she made a stop at the grocery store and encountered a distraught young man near tears because he couldn't afford to buy flowers for his girlfriend. She offered him money but he refused, so she gave him the roses I bought for her. (Abby, they had cost me more than $82!)

The whole episode still has me upset. I know the roses were a gift and she had every right to do with them as she wished. But I think what she did was thoughtless and insensitive and didn't take my feelings into consideration. She says I am narrow-minded because I don't see it from her perspective. What do you think? -- GRINCHED IN IOWA

DEAR GRINCHED: I can see how, having spent as much as you did for the roses, you could be upset. I can also see how your kindhearted girlfriend might have had pity on the guy and acted on impulse. While the roses were hers, she could have accomplished the same thing by giving him one or two of the roses to give to his girlfriend. However, if you care about this relationship, you'll stop brooding and drop the matter.