DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Hugh," and I have been married 16 years. We generally have a good relationship, with few arguments. We seldom participate in activities that don't include each other.
Three years ago, I was hired to work in the office of a manufacturing facility. The majority of the workers are men. Although Hugh denies it, I suspect he's uncomfortable about it.
When I participate in company events for employees only, he becomes jealous and rants that it isn't fair for spouses to be excluded. Once in a while, my co-workers and I go out for drinks after work. When I'm asked to join them, Hugh goes on the offensive, demanding to know all the details. He then calls my cell phone repeatedly until I get home.
I'm hurt that he finds me and my associates so untrustworthy. He has met the people I work with and has seen that they're all friendly and happily married. I encourage him to do things on his own with his friends, hoping he'll see that I trust him and will return the favor. What can I do to improve the situation? -- PULLED IN TWO IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR PULLED IN TWO: Have you talked to your husband about his behavior and how it makes you feel? If not, you should. But please understand that short of quitting your job and going to work in a convent, you can't improve the situation. The problem is your husband is insecure. Only he can fix that, which would first require his admitting it. Sad to say, he may not even be able to admit it to himself.
This is a difficult time to go job-hunting, so I don't advise it. But in the meantime, please do not make his problem your own. Accept that he has a problem, but don't allow it to jeopardize your work relationships.