DEAR ABBY: I work in an office where folks sometimes bring in birthday cakes, desserts and other goodies to share. "Dolores" is always the first in line, and helps herself to a large portion of the treats and says she's taking some home for her family.

Last week, someone brought in an exotic dessert and I got out the dessert-sized paper plates. Dolores took out two regular-sized paper plates and cut off a quarter of the entire dessert! No one could believe it, but we didn't know what to say or do. One time, she actually cut a huge portion of someone's birthday cake to take home before the "birthday boy" even got a slice. This woman is not poor. What do you recommend? -- "DESSERTED" IN TENNESSEE

DEAR "DESSERTED": Your co-worker is behaving the way she is because no one in your office has spoken up and objected. The next time someone brings something to be shared by the office staff and Dolores makes her usual move, the "bringer" should tell her plainly that she's not to take more than a portion for herself until everyone else has had some -- and to ask permission beforehand if she wants to take any of the remainder home.

DEAR ABBY: My son's birthday is coming soon. I want to invite his Scout troop and some of his schoolmates. The problem is "Matt." Matt is a horrible child who is in both Scouts and school. I know he'll destroy the party, but how can I invite everyone else and not him? His parents are lazy and overindulgent and can't seem to make him understand that there are rules of conduct. -- PERPLEXED MOM IN THE WOODLANDS, TEXAS

DEAR PERPLEXED: Do not invite all but one child to your son's party. If Matt acts up, take him aside and tell him exactly what you expect from him while he is with you -- and that if he can't behave appropriately he will be sent home. You may be surprised to find that when he hears it from you -- rather than from his ineffectual parents -- that he will listen and comply.

DEAR ABBY: When I take my children to the pediatrician, we are usually there for one reason -- flu-like symptoms, stomachache, etc. Sometimes my child will happen to have another ailment, like a sore ankle or a fever blister.

I don't feel comfortable bringing up additional issues with our doctor because when I do, I get the "evil eye" from him -- like he's only there to help with the one reason for our visit.

Is it appropriate to talk to the doctor about several medical problems in one visit, or only stick to the issue at hand? -- IN A QUANDARY, KETTERING, OHIO

DEAR IN A QUANDARY: If you are asked by the person who takes the appointment why you're bringing your child in, and you reply that your child has flu-like symptoms or a stomachache, the person will block you in for a certain amount of time with the doctor. If, after your child has been examined, you start talking about the sore ankle, the fever blister, etc., what you're interpreting as the "evil eye" may be stress because the necessary amount of time was not allotted and the doctor will be behind schedule for the rest of the day.

If, however, you feel the doctor is insensitive or not meeting your child's needs, then you should change doctors.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

DEAR ABBY: Last week I suggested to a co-worker, "Zack," that I treat him to a beer after work. Before our pints arrived, he disappeared to a corner of the pub to text on his phone, and 10 minutes later his girlfriend showed up. Her being there obligated me to buy her a drink, and it derailed the work-related discussion I had initially had in mind.

The following Monday, I mentioned to Zack that he should have asked me first if it was OK to bring someone else. He was none too pleased to hear that I thought his behavior was rude. How far off base was I? I'll bow to your opinion. -- WONDERING IN WESTMOUNT, CANADA

DEAR WONDERING: Did Zack know when you invited him for a beer that you wanted to discuss business? If not, then you're being too hard on him. But if he did know, then asking his girlfriend to join you was presumptuous -- and he should have offered to pay for her drink in any case.

DEAR ABBY: My 12-year-old daughter, "Jenna," is in the closet -- literally. About a week ago, she moved into her closet. She put her dresser in there, threw some blankets on the floor and that's where she hangs out now. When asked why she doesn't hang out in her room, she says, "I just like it in the closet."

Some of her girlfriends claim to be bisexual or gay. Is she telling me that she's "in the closet" or is she messing with my mind? Some of her friends are into cutting, and Jenna seems to be curious about it. I don't know what to make of any of this. Any advice? -- CONCERNED IN HOUSTON

DEAR CONCERNED: How close are you and your daughter? Are you the kind of mother she feels safe talking to about anything that might be troubling her?

Happy, outgoing girls don't usually take refuge in dark, confined spaces. She may be overwhelmed or depressed, or something may be going on in Jenna's life she needs help with but is afraid to tell you. Stay closer to your daughter for a while. If her change in behavior persists, keep probing until you find out what's going on.

Cutting can be an attempt to mask emotional pain, and if she starts, a licensed psychotherapist should be consulted.

DEAR ABBY: I have an 11-year-old son who has started having issues with lying -- nothing important, just little things like did he do his chores or brush his teeth.

I also have an alcoholic husband who says and does things he doesn't remember later. When I get conflicting stories from the two of them, I don't know whom to believe.

Don't suggest I leave my husband. It's not financially feasible right now, though it is something I am looking into. -- WHOM DO I BELIEVE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR WHOM: I am not suggesting that you leave your husband, unless he poses a danger to his son during one of his blackouts. However, if I had to choose between a husband who says and does things he doesn't remember later, and an 11-year-old boy who lies occasionally about having brushed his teeth or done his chores, I'd be inclined to believe the more sober of the two, your son. And I'd make darn sure my son understood that, while I might be disappointed he hadn't done what he was supposed to do, he'd be punished if I caught him lying to me about it.

To order "How to Write Letters for All Occasions," send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Letter Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law, Edye, was a wonderful cook and an accomplished hostess. Friends and family enjoyed being a part of her events, not only because of the food but also because she made everyone feel so welcome.

Before my husband and I were married, I met Edye for the first time at a dinner she hosted in my honor. Of course, I was nervous about meeting her and wanted to make a good impression. After the introductions, I followed her into the kitchen and offered to do what I could to help.

She smiled and said, "No thank you, dear. I like to do things my way," and then she pointed to a poem she had framed and hung on her wall. The title was, "Stay out of My Kitchen," and she told me it had come from your "Keepers" booklet.

Edye passed away two years ago, and the poem now hangs in my sister-in-law's kitchen. I think of my dear mother-in-law every time I see it. How can I get some copies of your "Keepers" booklet? I will be hosting a wedding shower for my niece and would like to use them as part of the gift bags I'm assembling for the luncheon. -- STILL MISSING EDYE IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR MISSING EDYE: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your mother-in-law. From your description, she must have been a talented and special lady. I'm pleased Edye found my Keepers Booklet enjoyable, and I hope your guests will, too. It can be ordered by sending your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds), to: Dear Abby -- Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price. You'll find it contains a collection of humorous and inspirational letters, poems and essays that were longtime favorites of my own dear mother -- which is why she included them in an inspiring, easy-to-read booklet for anyone who needs a "lift."

The poem your mother-in-law framed is brief, polite and succinct -- and here it is:

STAY OUT OF MY KITCHEN by Susan Sawyer

Please stay away from my kitchen

From my dishwashing, cooking and such;

You were kind to have offered to pitch in

But thanks, no, thank you so much!

Please don't think me ungracious

When I ask that you leave me alone;

For my kitchen's not any too spacious

And my routine is strictly my own.

Tell you what: You stay out of my kitchen

With its sodden, hot, lackluster lures --

When you're here, stay out of my kitchen

And I promise to stay out of yours!

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong -- because someday you will have been all of these. -- GEORGE WASHINGTON CARVER