DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing "Hillary" for a little more than a year. We're both in our late 20s and just starting our careers. We both live with our parents.
We've been having problems because I'm not willing to move in with her. I have told Hillary many times that there is no audition for marriage, but she's convinced it would "bring us closer." Many of the people I've worked with ended up splitting shortly after moving in together. Conversely, many of Hillary's friends moved in with significant others and were married shortly after.
I admit, I'd like to take things slow (call me old-fashioned), but Hillary doesn't know if she can wait until I feel ready to take this step or propose.
We acknowledge that we love each other. Our parents are not exactly rooting for us, so we're taking another break from things. I suggested that we both find our own places for the time being. Hillary has never lived by herself. We don't know what to do, and I'd like some advice from someone who doesn't have a stake in this. -- AT A CROSSROADS IN ILLINOIS
DEAR AT A CROSSROADS: I'm glad you asked. Neither you nor Hillary seem ready for the kind of commitment she's angling for right now. What's clear to me is that she wants to get out of her parents' house, while you appear to want some independence before making a lifetime commitment. Your suggestion about getting separate apartments is a good one.
I would love to know why neither set of parents is "rooting" for this match. But let it serve to make you think long and hard before doing anything you're not 100 percent ready for.