DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Harry," and I had a good marriage for 25 years, but we have grown apart and have agreed to divorce when our child finishes college. We just don't have a lot in common anymore. Harry is on the road a lot, and I have my own business.
My problem is I have fallen in love with Harry's cousin "Cyrus." We met 25 years ago at my sister-in-law's house and were instantly attracted. My mother-in-law reintroduced us five years ago so we could put together a business deal, and we became close. Cyrus is successful, and he's generous to me and my child. I have been secretly in love with him all these years, and now he has fallen in love with me, too.
Because I plan to leave Harry does not mean I want to leave his family. I have a wonderful mother-in-law and great sisters-in-law, and I love being a part of their family. I enjoy the weddings, family reunions and even the memorial services.
When I divorce Harry and marry Cyrus, I plan to remain part of the family, but my sisters-in-law do not approve, and they no longer want to continue our friendship. If it doesn't bother my soon-to-be-ex-husband, why should my continuing to attend family reunions bother them? And will time heal all wounds? -- GOING CRAZY IN ALABAMA
DEAR GOING CRAZY: Allow me to offer a clue. Harry's sisters appear to be traditional in their beliefs and may consider you to be an adulteress who has wronged their brother. If the breach can be healed, Harry will have to explain to them that the divorce is also his idea because your marriage has been over for years. However, if your soon-to-be-ex is unwilling to step forward, then I seriously doubt time will heal this wound, so please don't hold your breath expecting any invitations when their clan gathers.