DEAR ABBY: My husband constantly leers at women. He bases many of his choices on the "best views" available for girl watching: his seat in a restaurant, where he parks to pick up the kids from high school, seats at sporting events that are close to the cheerleaders, even TV shows that feature cute blondes -- the scantier clad the better.
The most upsetting incident happened when we were saying goodbye to our daughter whom we had taken to college. With tears in my eyes, I turned to my husband for comfort. Abby, instead of offering any, his eyes were glued on the rear end of a cute co-ed as she crossed the lobby.
I have begged, pleaded and explained repeatedly to my husband that his behavior is humiliating, degrading to all involved and just plain disgusting. He either denies he's doing it, becomes defensive, says I need help or tells me I'm "overreacting" -- that ALL men do it.
I have had enough, but at my age starting over seems scary. AM I overreacting? -- YOO-HOO, I'M OVER HERE!
DEAR HERE!: If your husband was 20 years younger, his behavior would be classified as "boys will be boys." But he is no longer a boy, and the older he gets the more his behavior is beginning to resemble that of a creepy old man. Most men may look occasionally, but it appears your husband is obsessive. He owes you an apology for his lack of sensitivity regarding your feelings and should make an effort at behavior modification.
Staying in an unhappy marriage because the idea of starting over "seems scary" is the wrong reason. But before you throw in the towel, both of you should talk to a marriage counselor -- or an optometrist who can help your husband practice tunnel vision.