DEAR ABBY: I'm a 15-year-old girl whose parents treat me like an 8-year-old. They not only refuse to let me see any movie that isn't G-rated, but they still cut my meat for me! Once a week we go to the park, and they still push me on the swings.

I don't want to tell them it's embarrassing because I'm afraid I'll hurt their feelings. Please tell me how to convey to my parents that I'm not a child anymore. -- OLD ENOUGH IN VIRGINIA

DEAR OLD ENOUGH: Your parents mean well, but children who are overprotected to the extent you have been often become stunted in their development. Teens do not learn social skills and how to make appropriate choices when they are "supervised" to the extent you are.

Tell your parents that you love them, but in three years you will be 18 and an adult. Explain that you know they love you, but if you are not allowed some freedom now, then you will be behind your peers because of your inexperience when you have reached an age when you'll be expected to make wise choices. Remind them that even children half your age are sufficiently coordinated that they can cut the food on their plates, and you would appreciate their allowing you to get some practice.

If this doesn't help them let go, then ask another adult to help you deliver the message.

DEAR ABBY: Two family members passed away, and because we live several states from our family, we were not informed of their deaths until many weeks after the funerals. Whose responsibility is it to notify us of a death in the family? -- LEFT IN THE DARK

DEAR LEFT IN THE DARK: There is no designated person who makes the call. Often it is a family member conveying the sad news, or a close family friend if the family is too devastated or too busy making funeral arrangements to reach out. That you were not notified until weeks after the funeral -- not once but twice -- implies that there may have been some sort of estrangement. And if that's the case, you have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: An old friend from high school came to visit. While she was here I couldn't help but notice that her teeth and gums were in awful shape. Her gums were red and swollen, with dark plaque around the gum lines.

I feel terrible for her. I'd hate to see her lose her teeth. She's only 30, but it's clear she'll be in trouble if she doesn't see a dentist ASAP. How can I let her know that she really, really needs to do this? -- CONCERNED IN L.A.

DEAR CONCERNED: Have a heart-to-heart talk with your friend and ask her why she hasn't been seeing a dentist. Tell her you are worried about her because diseases of the mouth can cause problems in other areas of the body or be a sign of illness.

If her problem is a fear of dentists, she should know that there are dentists who specialize in treating patients like her who can administer anti-anxiety meds to help her. And if her problem is money, that she should contact dental schools in her state to see if she could be treated as part of their supervised training for dental students. You are right to be concerned about your friend, so don't put off talking to her.

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DEAR ABBY: I am a short, 5-foot-5-inch high school sophomore. I am small-boned and my voice is high-pitched. I'm terrible at sports, and physical education class is a nightmare. I have become friends with another guy, "Rick," who is much like me, and it helps to have someone who has similar problems.

Because Rick and I hang out together, some of the macho guys have started a rumor that we're gay, and now everyone in the school thinks it's true. Our PE teacher has even made comments to this effect, which compounds the problem.

Rick and I are shunned and have even been physically attacked because of this. We are not gay. We are just good friends who share common problems. We are interested in girls, but they aren't interested in us. When I try to say I'm not gay, they say, "Then who is your girlfriend?" When I tell them I don't have one, they laugh at me.

Rick and I are both "A" students. We keep telling ourselves that we will succeed where some of the macho guys who are obvious losers will not, and we'll have the last laugh. However, this is still a terrible situation for us, and we can't stand the thought of another two years like this. Please help. -- SOPHOMORE IN SACRAMENTO

DEAR SOPHOMORE: If you and your friend haven't already told your parents what's going on, do so immediately. Then you and your parents should pay a visit to the school principal to report that you have been attacked by other students and misidentified as gay not only by your peers, but also by a member of the staff.

It appears that both staff and student body in your school need to be educated about the fact that discrimination, assault and hate crimes are illegal. And if the harassment is not stopped immediately, your families should take this matter to a lawyer.

DEAR ABBY: My 38-year-old married daughter's house is filthy. Her youngest is now in the hospital with pneumonia, and her two other kids are sick all the time. They are constantly coughing, have runny noses, fever and ear infections. I have tried talking to her regarding her housekeeping but she doesn't want to hear anything I have to say.

Her husband has convinced her that they have "more important things to be concerned with" than a clean house. He says they have love, and a clean house doesn't matter. The oldest girl is 11, and she tells me she's embarrassed to have anyone visit her. She has no friends (nor does my daughter) and I am afraid her life will go down along with my daughter's. Can you help me to help them? -- GRANDMA IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR GRANDMA: My first suggestion is to hire someone to clean your daughter's house once a month, if that's doable. The second is to discuss your very real concerns with the doctor who is treating your grandchild for pneumonia. While your son-in-law may think that a house filled with love doesn't have to be clean, if it's so dirty it is hazardous to the health of the children who live there, he is seriously mistaken.

DEAR ABBY: I have an etiquette question my friends and I are wondering about. What is an appropriate response when you find out someone is expecting but she doesn't want to be? "Congratulations" doesn't seem right, but neither does, "You have my sympathy." I feel lost when this situation comes up. Do you have any ideas? -- MELISSA IN KANSAS

DEAR MELISSA: How about, "I heard the news. If there is anything you need, please let me know."

DEAR ABBY: I enjoyed the column you published Nov. 26 with letters from readers about 13-13-13, and I'm not the least astonished that many of them didn't get the humor.

You failed to point out that several calendars actually DO have 13 months, among them the Muslim and Chinese calendars, each of which are lunar-solar calendars. Thus, 13-13-13 could be possible. My personal preference would be for 12 months of 30 days with a midsummer two-day break and a midwinter two- or three-day break. It may not be practical, but it would be fun. -- JOHN S., CAPE GIRARDEAU, MO.

DEAR JOHN: Thank you for the "timely" information and moral support. I confess that when I wrote my reply to the original letter, which appeared Sept. 4, it did not occur to me to check any calendar other than the one on my desk. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Your 13th month column was hilarious. It made people think. However, Orthodox Jews must be writing you by the thousands over your 13-13-13 "mistake." The ancient Jewish calendar is a lunar calendar in which a 13th month occurs every few years. Even secularists can count 13 new moons every 365-day year. This is why new moons are never at the same time of the "month," and why Jewish holidays never fall on the same day of the week. -- RICHARD IN PALM DESERT, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: There have been many calendars adopted throughout the ages as a way of measuring time, whether using the Gregorian currently used by Western civilization or by the lunar or solar means. Among them: the Mayan, Aztec, Babylonian, Zoroastrian, Hopi, Hindu, Egyptian, Roman and the Baha'i. Let us all celebrate in diverse and creative ways with love, compassion and encouragement. -- CAROL IN POST FALLS, IDAHO

DEAR ABBY: I was glad to see you embrace the intelligent idea that we will return to using the 13-month calendar by the year 2013. The insanity promoted by the ego-driven Gregorian calendar contributes much to the materialistic consumerism madness that pollutes our world.

Until we return our focus to the organic, cyclical nature of time we will not truly begin the healing of Mother Gaia to the extent we are able. Bringing mankind's consciousness back to a natural order of time will do much to heal the insanity that causes us to think we are superior to nature and the natural order of all things. -- A.J. IN YREKA, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: I'll bet most of your readers would be surprised to learn that there are some places in the world that DO have 13 months. Ethiopia's tourism motto is: "13 Months of Sunshine." Each month has 30 days, leaving five days (six during leap year) for the 13th month of Pagome. Their calendar is also about seven years behind ours. So, while you still can't celebrate 13-13-13 -- even in Ethiopia -- you CAN claim to be seven years younger. -- ETHIOPIAN AT HEART, ST. JOSEPH, MICH.

DEAR ABBY: Thought you might be interested to know that George Eastman, founder of Kodak, established a company-wide calendar based on 13 months, each with four weeks -- plus a New Year's Day. So in 1913, there WAS a 13-13-13. And if it had been on a Friday, then every month of that year would have had a Friday the 13th, too. -- LEONARD M., ROCHESTER, N.Y.