DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Dave," likes to tickle our two boys, ages 7 and 8. He goes too far sometimes and they beg him to stop, but he won't. I have talked about it with my sons and even came up with a phrase -- "No more!" -- when they want him to quit. I have also tried to make it clear to Dave that he needs to stop when they say it. The problem is, he continues even after they say it.

When I try to stop him, he says he's just "playing with my boys" and that I'm interfering. Or, if they say stop, he gets irritated and calls them "sissies."

I know his tickling is hurtful because he has done it to me and left bruises. What can I do to make him stop this behavior? -- NOT TICKLED, NOBLESVILLE, IND.

DEAR NOT TICKLED: I'm not tickled, either, because tickling can be a form of abuse when it's taken too far. And when someone says, "Stop!" regardless of the reason, the person should lay off. Your husband's behavior is sadistic. If he bruised you, one look at the mark he left should have been a clue to him that he went too far.

I hope you realize that the man you're describing is a bully. The boys are not "sissies." They are simply outweighed. Your husband should find a contact sport, channel his aggression elsewhere, and pick on someone his own size.

DEAR ABBY: I am in a touchy situation. I am recently divorced and my 7-year-old daughter idolizes and deeply misses her father. My ex is in prison serving time for molesting my older daughter, who was his stepchild.

Obviously, my younger girl, "Karen," has no clue why her father is in prison. She still thinks that when he gets out, he'll be part of her life. She's too young to hear the truth, but how else can I explain why Daddy will never be part of her life again? I don't want her to resent me for keeping her from her father, but I'm afraid that's exactly what will happen.

Abby, please help me. I'm torn about keeping Karen happy, but also keeping her safe. -- TORN IN TEXAS

DEAR TORN: I know you want to protect Karen, but that may not be realistic. If your older daughter is living at home, there's a possibility that she has told her little sister what happened. Karen IS old enough to understand the difference between acceptable touching and what is not. If she doesn't already know, then for her safety you should have that talk with her.

Your ex-husband will, I hope, be away for a very long time. When Karen brings him up, repeat that to her. She'll be older and fully able to understand by the time her father is ready for release. And by then you will have told her all the facts.

DEAR ABBY: When I see someone with a label sticking out of his or her shirt, blouse or whatever, is it proper to just walk up and stick the label back inside the person's clothing? Should I just tell the person that the label is showing? Or should I ignore it?

I have always appreciated knowing when this has happened to me. What's the correct way of handling this? -- OBSERVANT IN LAS CRUCES, N.M.

DEAR OBSERVANT: To walk up to someone you don't know well and touch him (or her) is extremely presumptuous. If you see that someone needs a clothing adjustment, take the person aside, quietly explain what you have noticed and let the person fix it him- or herself.

P.S. It is OK to OFFER assistance -- which may or may not be gratefully accepted.

DEAR READERS: Can you believe it's 2010? It's the 10th anniversary of Y2K. It seems like only yesterday.... But a new year has arrived, bringing with it our chance for a new beginning.

Today is the day we discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones, so with that in mind, I will share Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's Resolutions -- which were adapted by my mother, Pauline Phillips, from the original credo of Al-Anon.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.

I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.

Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully -- if only just for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

And now, Dear Readers, I would like to share an item that was sent to me by I.J. Bhatia, a reader who lives in New Delhi, India:

DEAR ABBY: This year, no resolutions, only some guidelines. The Holy Vedas say, "Man has subjected himself to thousands of self-inflicted bondages. Wisdom comes to a man who lives according to the true eternal laws of nature."

The prayer of St. Francis (of which there are several versions) contains a powerful message:

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:

"where there is hatred, let me sow love,

"where there is injury, pardon;

"where there is doubt, faith;

"where there is despair, hope;

"where there is darkness, light;

"and where there is sadness, joy.

"O Divine Master,

"grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

"to be understood, as to understand;

"to be loved, as to love;

"for it is in giving that we receive,

"it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

"and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life."

And so, Dear Readers, may this new year bring with it peace and joy to all of you. -- Love, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I'm 41 and a single mom. My first marriage lasted 19 years, during which my husband cheated on me three times that I know of. I have dated a few men since the divorce. I caught each of them lying to me, cheating on me -- or both.

I am now seeing a man who seems to be an honest family man. However, I can't bring myself to trust him. We have been seeing each other for a year, and I care about him deeply. But I do not trust him, and the truth is I don't trust anyone -- not even my own mother.

I'm not sure I know how to trust, Abby, and I am destroying my relationship with this man because of it. He has evening meetings and occasionally needs to travel on business, and I am making us both miserable. I do feel he's an honest, God-fearing family man, but when it comes to our relationship, I'm unable to trust. Please tell me what to do. -- DESPERATE IN ARIZONA

DEAR DESPERATE: Your reasons for not trusting men seemed understandable when I read that your husband had cheated multiple times, and that you had the same rotten luck with men after your divorce. Then I got to the line about your mother. If you don't trust her, then how far back do your trust issues go? And is it possible that you have turned your insecurity into a self-fulfilling prophecy?

If you want to salvage this relationship, recognize that you have a problem that won't go away without counseling to help you understand where your trust problems originated. Wouldn't it be interesting if they had less to do with the men in your life than with your mother? You'll never know until you look further -- so before you chase this man away, explain that you realize you have been unfair to him and ask him to give you patience and some time to fix the problem. He must care for you very much to have stuck it out this long.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 18, I met a girl, "Ava," who was 17. We became good friends but we lived an hour apart and only dated for four months. Ava called it off because she said she was in school and wanted to date other guys. I found out that the next year she got married.

Six years later, Ava called out of the blue and invited me to dinner. She was divorced, but I was in a relationship at the time, so I never called her back. I got married the following year and have been married for 31 years.

A couple of months ago I found out Ava's married name and phone number and called her. I apologized for not having returned her call way back when, and we talked about her family and mine. Abby, I care for her and would like to be friends. I'd like to keep in touch, but I don't want to invade her life or cause problems. Any advice would be appreciated. -- REMEMBERING IN RICHMOND

DEAR REMEMBERING: I'm not sure what it is you're looking for, but if you and Ava were meant to be friends, I think it would have happened before this. My advice is to let sleeping dogs lie.

DEAR READERS: I'm sure all of us are glad to bid a "fond farewell" to 2009. What a year this has been!

If you're planning to celebrate the New Year with alcohol tonight, please appoint a designated driver. And on this night of all nights, everyone -- including the designated driver -- should remember to drive defensively. To one and all, I wish a happy, healthy 2010. -- Love, ABBY