DEAR READERS: Can you believe it's 2010? It's the 10th anniversary of Y2K. It seems like only yesterday.... But a new year has arrived, bringing with it our chance for a new beginning.

Today is the day we discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones, so with that in mind, I will share Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's Resolutions -- which were adapted by my mother, Pauline Phillips, from the original credo of Al-Anon.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once.

I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.

Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully -- if only just for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

And now, Dear Readers, I would like to share an item that was sent to me by I.J. Bhatia, a reader who lives in New Delhi, India:

DEAR ABBY: This year, no resolutions, only some guidelines. The Holy Vedas say, "Man has subjected himself to thousands of self-inflicted bondages. Wisdom comes to a man who lives according to the true eternal laws of nature."

The prayer of St. Francis (of which there are several versions) contains a powerful message:

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:

"where there is hatred, let me sow love,

"where there is injury, pardon;

"where there is doubt, faith;

"where there is despair, hope;

"where there is darkness, light;

"and where there is sadness, joy.

"O Divine Master,

"grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

"to be understood, as to understand;

"to be loved, as to love;

"for it is in giving that we receive,

"it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

"and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life."

And so, Dear Readers, may this new year bring with it peace and joy to all of you. -- Love, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I'm 41 and a single mom. My first marriage lasted 19 years, during which my husband cheated on me three times that I know of. I have dated a few men since the divorce. I caught each of them lying to me, cheating on me -- or both.

I am now seeing a man who seems to be an honest family man. However, I can't bring myself to trust him. We have been seeing each other for a year, and I care about him deeply. But I do not trust him, and the truth is I don't trust anyone -- not even my own mother.

I'm not sure I know how to trust, Abby, and I am destroying my relationship with this man because of it. He has evening meetings and occasionally needs to travel on business, and I am making us both miserable. I do feel he's an honest, God-fearing family man, but when it comes to our relationship, I'm unable to trust. Please tell me what to do. -- DESPERATE IN ARIZONA

DEAR DESPERATE: Your reasons for not trusting men seemed understandable when I read that your husband had cheated multiple times, and that you had the same rotten luck with men after your divorce. Then I got to the line about your mother. If you don't trust her, then how far back do your trust issues go? And is it possible that you have turned your insecurity into a self-fulfilling prophecy?

If you want to salvage this relationship, recognize that you have a problem that won't go away without counseling to help you understand where your trust problems originated. Wouldn't it be interesting if they had less to do with the men in your life than with your mother? You'll never know until you look further -- so before you chase this man away, explain that you realize you have been unfair to him and ask him to give you patience and some time to fix the problem. He must care for you very much to have stuck it out this long.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 18, I met a girl, "Ava," who was 17. We became good friends but we lived an hour apart and only dated for four months. Ava called it off because she said she was in school and wanted to date other guys. I found out that the next year she got married.

Six years later, Ava called out of the blue and invited me to dinner. She was divorced, but I was in a relationship at the time, so I never called her back. I got married the following year and have been married for 31 years.

A couple of months ago I found out Ava's married name and phone number and called her. I apologized for not having returned her call way back when, and we talked about her family and mine. Abby, I care for her and would like to be friends. I'd like to keep in touch, but I don't want to invade her life or cause problems. Any advice would be appreciated. -- REMEMBERING IN RICHMOND

DEAR REMEMBERING: I'm not sure what it is you're looking for, but if you and Ava were meant to be friends, I think it would have happened before this. My advice is to let sleeping dogs lie.

DEAR READERS: I'm sure all of us are glad to bid a "fond farewell" to 2009. What a year this has been!

If you're planning to celebrate the New Year with alcohol tonight, please appoint a designated driver. And on this night of all nights, everyone -- including the designated driver -- should remember to drive defensively. To one and all, I wish a happy, healthy 2010. -- Love, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I am 80, and "Doreen" is 72. When we started dating seven years ago, I "simply wanted to be her friend." Now the tables have turned, and she just wants to be MY friend.

Doreen has a male friend in Florida with whom she communicates through letters and phone calls. Although she tells me she loves me, she also says that if this "friend" comes back and asks her out, she wants to be free to date him.

I told her that most 72-year-olds would be happy to have one man to date, but if she plans on dating someone else, I should be free to do the same. Her last remark was for me to "be gentle with her." We are affectionate, loving friends, and I care about her a great deal.

Your observations, please. -- EDDIE IN MAINE

DEAR EDDIE: Your statement that if Doreen plans to date someone else, you should be free to do the same seems logical to me. Continue to have an affectionate, loving friendship with her -- and by all means "be gentle" -- but keep your options open and date others in the knowledge that if her snowbird flies home, she'll be billing and cooing with him, and you'll be flying solo.

DEAR ABBY: I have a big problem -- my father-in-law, "Hal." He has lived with us more than eight years and has never contributed anything toward his keep. I asked him once to pay some rent, but he refused. This not only caused a rift between my wife and me, but her two siblings -- who are well off -- said Hal was "living on the poverty line," so we should keep him for nothing.

I wouldn't mind so much, but my wife has to clean up after him, do his laundry and take him to his medical appointments. More than that, having Hal underfoot all the time has completely destroyed our privacy.

Hal spends most of his pension buying presents for his other children who never even come to see him. All we get from him are complaints.

What do you suggest? -- RESENTFUL IN IDAHO

DEAR RESENTFUL: Enough is enough. You and your wife are long overdue for a meeting with her siblings to discuss this problem. They should have started chipping in to pay for their father's care eight years ago and also seen to it that you have some respite. Unless and until this is brought out into the open, nothing will change.

DEAR ABBY: My wife, "Audrey," was molested by her step-grandfather when she was a little girl. She told her mother about it, but because of her age she wasn't taken seriously.

Audrey and I are now talking about starting a family. Abby, I am uncomfortable about bringing children into this family unless everyone understands the reason I will not allow this man to touch our children. The problem is, the information will be devastating to Audrey's grandmother. A child's innocence is worth whatever hard feelings I might create, but how do we handle this without destroying a family? -- TAKING CARE OF MY OWN IN HUNTSVILLE, ALA.

DEAR TAKING CARE: Was your wife the only child in the family her step-grandfather had access to? Will the baby you're planning be the first in the family -- or has this man had unsupervised contact with others? Keep in mind that if he would molest Audrey, he may also have done it to others -- neighbors, etc.

Not only should the family be informed about what happened by you and Audrey now that she is "old enough to be believed," but also ask if anyone else may have been victimized because other children may have been afraid to speak up.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)