DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are involved in a power struggle with my brother. At Christmas we invite him and his family to our home. We try to make our Christmas dinner fun and festive, so a lot of planning goes into the menu.
Every year, a day or two before the event, my brother calls to ask what's on the menu, then offers his unwanted opinion on what we should or shouldn't serve.
Last year he told me he wouldn't be able to enjoy the meal because we weren't serving one of the items he feels is "traditional" in our family. He says he's family so he's entitled to make suggestions. When I was unwilling to accommodate his "simple" request, he got upset. I'm on the verge of not inviting his family in the future. Who is right? -- OFFENDED IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR OFFENDED: You are. Your brother may be family, but his behavior is childish and impolite. When he calls this year and starts the drill, if he tells you he doesn't think he will enjoy the meal if he can't dictate the menu, serve him a dose of reality. Tell him that your menu is already set and if he wants something in addition he can prepare it and bring it with him -- or make other plans.