DEAR ABBY: You advised "Pooped Out in North Carolina" (Sept. 21) that as long as dog doo-doo is securely sealed in a bag, you saw no harm in putting it in a stranger's garbage can.

While I agree in principle, as a homeowner who is a frequent recipient of foreign feces, there is a practical issue that you may not have foreseen. Our garbage collectors will not dispose of small bags of dog poop; they will only take trash bags of the larger size one would expect to contain household waste.

The result is that after our trash is taken, we're left with several bags of strangers' dog waste in the bottom of the can. My wife and I have to pull these bags out and add them to larger bags of garbage. Otherwise, they'll remain at the bottom of the can indefinitely.

So while putting one's dog droppings in a stranger's trash may appear to be harmless, it may also have consequences you didn't consider. I would suggest that pet owners err on the side of taking it home with them. And if you don't want to carry it for 15 minutes, don't walk your dog 15 minutes from your house. -- FREQUENT FECES FINDER

DEAR F.F.F.: I'm sorry to say my advice to "Pooped" landed ME in the doghouse. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: You should have told "Pooped" to check the local laws first. In my community, if you're caught putting your trash in someone else's container, you are made to clean it out, fined and sometimes given jail time. I'm sure "Pooped" would not appreciate being sent to jail on account of his dog's delivery. -- TOM IN REED CITY, MICH.

DEAR ABBY: A lot depends on how the trash is collected. My trash collector and the nearby city collectors just come and pull the bags out of the cans. That little baggie, if deposited in my trash can, would either be knocked out on the ground or fall to the bottom of my trash can. Neither is acceptable.

On the other hand, some of my neighbors use a trash service that utilizes a truck with a mechanical arm that turns the cans upside down and empties them into the truck. In a case like that, I don't see what difference it makes whose can it's "deposited" in. -- CONNIE IN PARIS, TENN.

DEAR ABBY: I walk my dogs through the neighborhood and, as a responsible pet owner, I clean up after them. Often, however, I wonder why I bother. Many dogs here run loose and leave their messes wherever they please with no one to clean up after them. I think that neighbors should thank pet owners who do clean up -- no matter where they deposit the doo-doo. -- DOG WALKER IN LAYTON, UTAH

DEAR ABBY: When we walk our dog, we always carry a bag. I have seen others "scoop" up after their dog and then toss it under the bushes. Carry it home, folks! Or, as the gentleman did, place it in a trash container. If it's on the curb, it's public property. -- SCOOPER IN FLORIDA

DEAR ABBY: We walk our dogs four times a day and place their carefully bagged "deposits" only in the trash at our house. We do this for two reasons: One, people can be territorial about their refuse containers and resent any "unauthorized" garbage placed there. Two, many homeowners hate finding animal waste on their property or in their trash.

Abby, please rethink your reply to "Pooped Out." He sounds lazy. His wife, family and co-workers, on the other hand, appear to be responsible and considerate. -- PICKER-UPPER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR ABBY: For 20 years I have gone to considerable thought and expense to carefully select nice holiday cards to send to a varied client base. I have tried to be considerate and sensitive to any cultural and religious differences.

My Christian friends wanted explicitly religious cards, the Hanukkah cards were not religious enough, and the middle-of-the-road "Season's Greetings" were termed "wishy-washy secular." My own family is a feuding stew of different faiths.

This year? I've had it. I sent Thanksgiving cards with the following quote from Theodore Roosevelt: "Let us remember that as much has been given us, much will be expected from us, and that true homage comes from the heart as well as from the lips, and shows itself in deeds."

It bothers me that a simple delivery of good wishes was met with such a resounding show of bad manners and ill will, and I see no point in continuing. My mother says I expect too much of people and that this will backfire. I'm past caring and have no more cheeks left to turn. I agreed to abide by your advice. What say you? -- STEAMED IN VAN NUYS, CALIF.

DEAR STEAMED: I don't blame you for being offended. The complainers were extremely rude. If you've sent cards only out of fear that if you didn't it would somehow "backfire," then you shouldn't have sent them. And if anyone is presumptuous enough to raise the subject, tell that person it's because your selection was criticized last year, so this year you decided to save your money.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 43-year-old woman with one adopted 16-year-old child. I have never had children of my own, and I'd like to try again. My 44-year-old husband feels we're too old now, and of course society thinks we're too old, too. We have friends whose kids are having kids. Do you think we're too old? -- OPEN-MINDED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR OPEN-MINDED: Yes, I do, but what I think doesn't matter. This is a subject you should discuss at length with your OB/GYN because a pregnancy at your age could be risky not only for you, but also your child. And if your husband doesn't feel up to the challenge, his wishes should be considered.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single mother of a 7-year-old girl. Before we moved to a rural area, my daughter attended a private school where she flourished. However, after three years in public school here, she is struggling academically and her self-esteem has been challenged.

Every day I agonize over whether we ought to move or stay. I have a great job, wonderful friends and the lifestyle is comfortable. But the schools are awful. I remember how my daughter used to love going to school, but now she hates it.

I can't decide if we should move back to a larger city where there are more educational choices, or if we should remain here. Have you any thoughts on this? I want my daughter to gain stability, but I don't know if this is the place because school is such an important part of people's lives. -- MUST CHOOSE IN MARYLAND

DEAR MUST CHOOSE: What's more important to you -- your job, friends and lifestyle, or your daughter's future? Once you have answered that question, your choice will be easy.

For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more sociable person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I am a 45-year-old single woman. My best friend, "Gavin," and I have known each other since I was 3. We were raised together and consider ourselves like brother and sister. We have always had a strictly platonic friendship.

Gavin is married to a wonderful woman, "Evie," who is also a friend of mine. Until recently, Gavin and Evie took frequent trips on his touring motorcycle. But because of a physical disability, Evie can no longer ride with him.

Gavin's police department recently held a charity motorcycle ride to a state landmark two hours away. Evie suggested I might enjoy going along and experiencing what a ride is like. I did, and had a wonderful time.

Since then, I have learned that several people have been spreading rumors that Gavin and I are having an affair because I was seen on the motorcycle with him. Evie says not to worry about it, but my feelings are hurt, and I feel my reputation is being tarnished. Why can't friends go on a motorcycle trip without rumors being spread? And how do I handle this? -- UNEASY RIDER IN MYRTLE BEACH

DEAR UNEASY: In a community where small minds dwell, there is always a rumor mill and gossips who make assumptions about things they know nothing about. How to handle it? Hold your head high and ignore it.

DEAR ABBY: My adult siblings and I need some help. Our mother insists year after year that we "kids" celebrate their anniversary in a big way. We don't mind recognizing their achievement -- this year will be their 45th -- but we don't feel it should be our "responsibility" to throw a party or host a big night out.

Mom expects it for every anniversary, birthday and holiday. A simple card or phone call is not acceptable.

Not everyone is available on their anniversary this year and the guilting has begun. We're all married with our own families and schedules. We feel an anniversary should be a celebration for the couple and by the couple. Are we "bad children" because we resent having to do something each and every year, for each and every event? -- TUCKERED OUT IN MARYLAND

DEAR TUCKERED OUT: No. But because a pattern has been established, your mother isn't going to be happy hearing you want to change it, so be prepared. Approach her as a group and tell her you'll be sending flowers for their anniversary from now on because you're all saving up to throw them a 50th.

DEAR ABBY: I work in a busy hospital with many patients from other countries. Our volunteer office collects magazines to distribute throughout the hospital for patients and visitors.

Please encourage your readers to donate magazines in English as well as any other languages that are spoken in their communities. These can help to ease the endless hours of waiting that inevitably occur. Thanks, Abby. -- EMILY P. IN HOUSTON

DEAR EMILY P.: You're welcome. And chemotherapy and dialysis centers would also welcome magazines for patients to read while they are being transfused. These are excellent ways to "recycle."