DEAR ABBY: I have been seeing a guy, "Casey," for three years. I have two children by another man, and Casey took them on as if they were his. They even call him "Daddy." I'm grateful I have someone who takes such good care of my kids. I can see myself spending the rest of my life with him.

There's just one problem. Casey has a hard time keeping a job. He has had more than a dozen jobs during the last three years. The only income we have is mine, and it's not very much. We struggle quite a bit, and we fight about money. Things would be better if Casey would get a job and keep it, but I can't get him to understand that. Sometimes I feel like he's using me.

I want to stay with Casey, but now and then I also think I'd be better off if I left him. What can I do to make him understand that he needs to keep a job? Or, because I love him, should I stand beside him no matter what? -- BREADWINNER IN OHIO

DEAR BREADWINNER: If Casey doesn't understand after three years that you need an equal partner in the relationship, I doubt you'll ever get that message through to him. As it stands, you appear to have a live-in baby sitter "with benefits." Add to that the fact that on some level you sense you are being used and would be better off without him, and I conclude that day care would not only be less expensive, it would also provide you a chance to meet a man who's willing to pull his own weight. Right now it appears you have three dependents.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I both work two jobs, and we have raised three wonderful children. Over the years we have watched our friends build bigger and bigger homes, drive fancy cars and take extended trips to exotic locations while my husband and I work paycheck to paycheck.

What bothers me is that many of my girlfriends were "gold diggers" who stole wealthy men from other women, and some of the men seem to make money by doing illegal things. They're all living high on the hog while I dodge bill collectors.

I thought I was making good decisions and being morally responsible, but apparently the "nice guy/nice gal comes in last." When do these people get what's coming to them, and when do I get a break? -- NICE GAL IN OHIO

DEAR NICE GAL: How about starting right now? Start by shedding those people from your life whom you find morally reprehensible and look for some whose values more closely resemble your own. And instead of obsessing about others "getting what's coming to them," concentrate on improving your own life.

If you're dodging bill collectors, find a credit counseling agency to help you deal with them. It won't happen overnight, but things will improve as you get your financial life in order. Find a credit counseling agency that is approved by your Better Business Bureau or affiliated with the National Foundation for Credit Counseling or the Association of Independent Consumer Credit Counseling Agencies.

DEAR ABBY: I loved the letter from "Claire in Bethlehem, Pa." (Sept. 4), and her idea of creating dinner parties or luncheons to celebrate days with unique numbers. I agree wholeheartedly with your response to her. I bet if there were a 13-13-13, Murphy's Law would mandate that it fall on a Friday!

I am curious how many readers won't get the joke and will write in, feeling the need to explain to you that there isn't a 13th month. I am betting it'll be in the hundreds; my husband is betting maybe just a dozen. Could you settle that bet for us? We have a dinner riding on it. -- AMANDA IN ANMOORE, W.VA.

DEAR AMANDA: You win. I heard from readers by the hundreds, and about half of them volunteered that they thought I was "losing it." (Thanks, folks!) I hope the dinner your husband buys you will be sumptuous, intimate, candlelit and enjoyable. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: If you want your advice to be taken seriously, check what you write before you publish. In today's paper you said you hope 13-13-13 falls on a Friday. What planet are you from? I'm not sure I even want to read advice from a person who is this disconnected. So get out the calendar, check your facts and print a retraction! -- BILL IN KEY WEST

DEAR ABBY: I'm not a stupid person, but I thought you'd get a kick out of knowing I actually tried to research what day of the week 13-13-13 would fall on. Then I just cracked up out loud. -- SHARI IN PITTSBURG, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: Were you serious? I am sure you were trying to be funny, and I'm not trying to insult you. It took me a couple of seconds to realize there is no 13th month, so it would be impossible to throw a dinner party on 13-13-13.

I hope you'll write your column forever because it had an influence on me deciding to become a counselor. -- DIANNA IN SPRINGFIELD, ORE.

DEAR ABBY: I looked it up, and 13-13-13 does NOT fall on Friday. It falls on a Noneday. -- FLORA IN MILAN, MICH.

DEAR ABBY: Allow me to offer a suggestion to "Claire in Bethlehem, Pa." For her Oct. 10, 2010, party she should pop some popcorn and rent a Bo Derek movie. -- JOEL IN DOVER, N.H.

DEAR ABBY: I suggest you celebrate 13-13-13 on April Fool's Day. -- JOAN IN CHARLESTON, ILL.

DEAR READERS: It is my intent that this column not only inform, educate and occasionally inspire, but also entertain. The daily news is often depressing, and I would like to give you some relief from it -- a place where you can learn from the predicaments of others and, once in a while, turn the page with a smile. -- Love, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: Our family has had a difficult year. We have gone from one drama or trauma to another, but have always managed. There's one issue, however, that I can't fix. My husband, "Arthur," can't keep our problems private. He seems compelled to tell EVERYONE he meets about what's going on in our family.

I have told Arthur repeatedly, "What happens at home should stay at home," and begged him not to take our problems to the neighbors, who have enough of their own. It's embarrassing when our friends, neighbors and extended family are informed about the dramas going on in our home. But Arthur becomes defensive when I tell him I don't like it and says he won't stop -- that I'm being "too sensitive."

Abby, I feel my husband's blabbing is disloyal. I'm worried that he is ruining our reputation because he can't keep his mouth shut. Please help. -- TOWN CRIER'S WIFE

DEAR WIFE: Your husband may be looking for attention or sympathy. He also appears to lack good judgment and impulse control, and does not understand what consequences his "blabbing" might bring.

However, I can't muzzle him and neither can you. It may bring small comfort to remember that these days people are so preoccupied with their own problems they are likely to be less judgmental about your drama and trauma.

DEAR ABBY: I am a single mother finishing my undergraduate degree in English. I have a 6-year-old son. His father, "Gil," and I are on great terms. We kept everything out of the courts, and he pays me monthly child support. Gil sees our son whenever he likes, which is often.

I have an opportunity to go to law school 200 miles away, and I'm considering leaving my son with his dad to do so. I have no problem taking him with me, but as parents we thought that uprooting our son for three years was not a good idea.

I am doing this for my son. I come from a poor family, and I am the first to graduate from college. A liberal arts degree won't afford me much in the future. Gil's income is "fair," but neither of us has any real security.

I trust Gil when he gives me his word on an agreement. Many of my friends are supportive, but some of the stay-at-home moms are making me feel like a terrible person and mother. Would I be selfish to do this or should I continue with my plans for a better income and career? -- GNAWING UNCERTAINTY IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Stop listening to the criticism and proceed with ensuring a bright future for you and your boy. As long as you can spend time with your son during school breaks and during the summer months, I see no reason why you should not get your law degree. But there should be a clear written agreement between you and Gil that the arrangement is only temporary, and it's important your son understand that your absence is not because he has done anything to cause it.

And now, Dear Readers, I am pleased to continue the tradition of offering the Thanksgiving Prayer that was penned by my dear mother, Pauline Phillips. No Thanksgiving would be complete for me without it.

Oh, Heavenly Father,

We thank thee for food and remember the hungry.

We thank thee for health and remember the sick.

We thank thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.

May these remembrances stir us to service,

That thy gifts to us may be used for others. Amen.

Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving, everyone! -- Love, ABBY