DEAR ABBY: I have strong feelings about the word "love." I use it only when I truly mean it. My husband's family, however, bandies it about as a common word.

How does one respond when someone says "I love you" when you know he or she doesn't mean it and is only saying it as a pleasantry? I hate saying it back to someone I don't really love. I feel the phrase should be reserved only when you are saying it from the heart. Any advice on what I should say, if anything at all? -- KEEPING MUM IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR KEEPING MUM: Because you are part of the extended family, and family is supposed to "love" each other, the expected and appropriate response would be, "I love you too, darlin'!" But since you can't bring yourself to go that far, just coo in return, "And you're such a love to say that!"

DEAR ABBY: I know it may seem early, but this is the best time to start thinking about the Christmas holidays. Can you offer suggestions on what to buy for family and friends? Money is tight in this economy, and lots of good folks are out of work.

This issue will present itself for everyone. What can parents buy or give to their children and vice versa? -- LOOKING AHEAD IN VISTA, CALIF.

DEAR LOOKING AHEAD: Money IS tight in this economy, and the unemployment figures are mind-boggling. For too long, every holiday has been turned into an opportunity to induce people to shop, shop, shop and buy, buy, buy. That's why I'm suggesting we stop for a moment, examine what's really important about the Christmas season, and focus on that instead of spending money.

The time has come to seriously return to the basics. The most precious gift one can give is the gift of self. A meaningful example of the spirit of giving would be to volunteer some time as a family to serve food, or collect and distribute toys and clothing at a shelter or program for people who are in dire straits.

DEAR ABBY: After our father's death last year, my brother, "Rex," and I moved in with our mother to help her out emotionally and financially. Rex and I have always respected each other's privacy and have always supported each other.

Rex has put a lock on his door, which makes Mom and me feel as if he doesn't trust us enough to respect his privacy. We have never invaded his space or given him cause not to trust us. He is a caring, considerate person, financially stable, socially active, and helps Mom out with any repairs needed around the house. I love him dearly, but I am puzzled that he feels he needs to lock his room as if we are not trustworthy.

My feelings are hurt. Our family has never had trust issues before. What do you think of his behavior, and am I being overly sensitive? -- OPEN-DOOR SIS IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR SIS: Yes, you are, so please stop personalizing it. Your brother is an adult, and adults are entitled to their privacy -- which, by the way, your brother has sacrificed to some extent by moving back with Mom and you. Respect his boundaries. The lock indicates to me that he feels he needs some.

DEAR ABBY: As a fire officer, I have seen far too many families fall victim to accidental home fires. It is devastating to find out that a life could have been saved if someone had only taken that simple step of replacing a dead battery in a smoke alarm. Nearly 96 percent of American homes have at least one smoke alarm. But did you know that 19 percent of American homes lack a working smoke alarm because the batteries are missing or dead?

For 22 years, the International Association of Fire Chiefs and Energizer have been committed to changing this statistic through the "Change Your Clock Change Your Battery" campaign. This partnership encourages families to change the battery in their smoke alarms when they set their clocks back an hour on Nov. 1. This message also serves as a reminder to communities nationwide to change the batteries in their carbon monoxide detectors.

As winter approaches, more people will begin using gas appliances to heat their homes and may find themselves at risk of carbon monoxide poisoning, called the "silent killer" because this gas is colorless, odorless and tasteless.

Thank you, Abby, for helping us spread this lifesaving message to your readers. -- JEFFREY D. JOHNSON, PRESIDENT, INTERNATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF FIRE CHIEFS

DEAR JEFF: I'm glad to help, and I know my readers are grateful for your timely reminder. It may seem like a menial task, but safeguarding yourselves and your families is extremely important -- so change those batteries this weekend!

DEAR ABBY: For the last two years I have been going out with a guy I'll call "Ricky." My problem is I don't love him anymore. A few weeks ago I told him I no longer wanted to be with him, and he started crying. He scared me when he said his life was in my hands.

Abby, I want to end it. Ricky suffocates me. He's depressed because his mom works and doesn't have time for him. His dad doesn't live with them, so Ricky feels he has only me to talk to. He wants to marry me, and I don't want to lie and say I will. It disturbs me that he still wants to be together even though he knows I'm not happy with him. He believes that if he's happy, I will be, too. Please tell me what do. -- TROUBLE IN SALINAS, CALIF.

DEAR TROUBLED: I'm sure the news that you wanted to break up was painful for Ricky to hear -- hence the tears -- but saying his life is in your hands was a form of emotional blackmail. For your sake, please don't fall for it.

Ricky appears to be needy and immature. Call his mother, tell her that you are ending the relationship and that he isn't taking it well. She's in a better position to see he gets emotional and psychological support than you are.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Heather," is trying to trick her husband into having another child. They already have one, but he doesn't think they can handle two.

They have been fighting about this, and it has created problems in their marriage. Heather confided to me recently that she is going to stop using birth control "just to see what will happen," and I'm pretty sure she's not going to tell her husband first.

I wish I didn't know. But now that I do, I'm not sure where my responsibilities lie. Should I tell him, or keep my mouth shut and act surprised when Heather gets pregnant? -- KNOWS TOO MUCH IN BETHESDA

DEAR KNOWS TOO MUCH: This is your best friend. You should tell Heather that she's making a serious mistake. What she is doing is dishonest, underhanded, and could be the final straw that breaks her marriage apart. And yes, you should tip him off. If it isn't already too late, he may want to take precautions.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter insists that she's a "multitasker" -- too busy to telephone or text except when she's driving. It scares me to be in the passenger seat while she's talking on the phone or picking up toys the baby has dropped from his car seat.

I told her I won't talk to her while she's driving because I don't want to be a party to an accident she might be involved in, so she has stopped calling me altogether.

Don't these self-described multitaskers realize they are operating machines that can kill them or others while they shift their focus from the road? A man recently died in a head-on car crash as he crossed the interstate line. When the emergency vehicles arrived, his laptop was still running. What else can I say to my daughter when she doesn't "want to hear about it"? -- TERRIFIED MAMA IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR TERRIFIED: The statistics I have read indicate that drivers using cell phones have the same risk of being involved in an accident as people who have been drinking. It is sad that your daughter is so overscheduled that she feels she must do two things at once.

However, until your daughter is ready to sharpen her maternal instincts, grow up and stop being defensive, there is nothing you or anyone can say that will cut through the static. I am truly sorry.

DEAR ABBY: My twin sister, "Karina," and I will be seniors this year, and we're starting to look at colleges. It has always been "assumed" that Karina and I would attend the same college and be roommates. However, I think it's time for some separation. We're very close, and I would like us to attend the same college, but I think we should consider having different roommates.

Karina is hurt and upset that I don't want to continue sharing a room with her, pointing out that we've been "roommates" our entire lives and get along well, so why argue with success?

It has nothing to do with her. I just think it would be easier to expand our horizons if we're not just known as "the twins." We would still see each other often, and if things don't work out perhaps we can be roomies the following year.

My mother is shocked and thinks there's something wrong between us. I would appreciate another opinion. -- THE OTHER TWIN

DEAR TWIN: Have a private talk with your mother and explain that as much as you love your sister, the time has come for both of you to explore your individuality. While the concept may be foreign to her, what you are contemplating would be a healthy opportunity for both of you. As the daughter of an identical twin, I can assure you that some degree of separation will be healthy and give you both a chance to grow.

DEAR ABBY: I am not ugly, but I am very unphotogenic. I take terrible pictures. At family weddings, I know photos are necessary and I cooperate. But the rest of the time I do not want to be photographed. Isn't this my right?

How can I, without offending anyone, prevent people from taking my picture? And am I the only person who feels this way? -- NO PICTURES, PLEASE, KANSAS CITY, MO.

DEAR NO PICTURES, PLEASE: No, you aren't -- and people who know you and care about your feelings should respect them and not insist. If the shooter is a stranger or a casual acquaintance, all you need to say is, "I prefer not to be photographed." And if you are pressed, say you're in the Witness Protection Program.