DEAR ABBY: I am a 15-year-old girl who is losing the will to live. I am bisexual, but my parents are very anti-gay/lesbian, so I can't tell them about my sexual orientation.

Every day I engage in self-injury using a metal chain, and I think about suicide a lot. Please help me. -- HURTING IN ORLANDO, FLA.

DEAR HURTING: As you already know, your sexual orientation isn't something you chose. It is something you were born with, and your parents' disapproval -- as intimidating as it may be -- isn't going to change it. What you are experiencing is not uncommon in young people who have discovered they are "different." But there is help, not only for you but also for your parents.

The first thing you should do is contact The Trevor Helpline. It is a nationwide, 24-hour helpline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning young people. A counselor there can help you sort out your feelings and figure out some options. You can find out more about it by going to � HYPERLINK "http://www.thetrevorproject.org" ��www.thetrevorproject.org�. The toll-free number is (866) 488-7386.

Another terrific resource is PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays). PFLAG was established in the 1980s and offers specific advice on how to deal with your parents. You will find its Web site at www.pflag.org.

Both of these organizations provide the support you need, so please don't wait to contact them.

DEAR ABBY: My heart is broken. My 18-year-old son, "Joey," has just put his name on someone else's child's birth certificate. He met the girl in high school. She was already pregnant. Joey has been out of school since May. He has no job, no money and no car.

Joey promised her family he will "take care of her." They were only too happy to hear it because the real father wants nothing to do with her or the baby. Her parents have made my son feel like a hero, and he enjoys it.

I did everything in my power to talk him out of it. Nothing worked. I can't believe that the girl's family is encouraging him. Joey is not a man, even if he is 18. Where are their values? -- HEARTBROKEN MOM IN MESA, ARIZ.

DEAR MOM: Your son may feel like a hero, but apparently he was not thinking rationally when he put his name on that birth certificate, because what he did was fraud. The father of that baby should be listed as the father, and he is the one who should be financially responsible until the child reaches adulthood. If Joey wants to lend emotional support, more power to him. But I'm advising you to consult an attorney to see if this mess can be unraveled before he gets in any deeper.

DEAR ABBY: I am 22 years old and stuck in a long-term relationship. My boyfriend has taken care of me since my mother died last year. She was my only family, so without my boyfriend I'd be alone.

My problem is, I am no longer attracted to him. I don't want to hurt his feelings because of everything he has helped me through, but is a relationship worth staying in if you don't feel the "connection" anymore? -- ALONE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR ALONE: No, it's not, and it's also not fair to your boyfriend. Sooner or later you will have to level with him and tell him that, while you're deeply grateful for his support during this difficult time, you have come to regard him as more of a brother than a lover, and while you'll always care for him, the romance is over.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married nearly a year. My husband and I were together for five years before that. I am his fourth wife.

What's bothering me is he gets most of his mail delivered to his mother's -- things such as his cell phone bill, his paychecks, etc. Everything he owns is in storage in another country. He makes all his phone calls from work and never receives any at home.

I saw his credit report. He has taken out loans I know nothing about.

I love my husband with all my heart, but am I right to think a marriage isn't supposed to be this way? I feel he has two lives. -- IN THE DARK IN TENNESSEE

DEAR IN THE DARK: I don't know how many lives your husband is living, but the answer to your question is no, a marriage is not supposed to be the way yours is. Your husband's behavior is unusually secretive -- and when people are secretive, it is usually because they have something to hide.

There are many red flags in your letter, and because of that I'm advising you to talk to an attorney and find out how loans taken out without your knowledge could affect you.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend gets weirded out and angry when I hold my kids from a previous marriage in my lap and want her to be close to me at the same time. She says it's "gross and inappropriate."

She acts like I am trying to be sexual with her, but I'm not -- I'm just trying to have her near me while I'm sitting on the couch with my children. She says I should only be affectionate with them and her separately.

Am I the one with the problem here, or what? -- DAD IN LAKEWOOD, WASH.

DEAR DAD: Your girlfriend may feel competitive with your children, or she may have something in her personal history that makes it difficult for her to differentiate between paternal affection and sexual closeness between adults. If you want concrete answers from her, you need to discuss this subject more fully with her so she can explain why she feels the way she does, because it's odd.

DEAR ABBY: Since my daughter left home several years ago, I have become extremely anxious on Sundays. In the afternoons it feels like the walls are closing in on me. I feel so depressed I have to leave the house.

If I go someplace that is open and unconfined, with lots of people around, I feel fine. When I return to my house in the early evening and dote on my pets, I get back to feeling normal.

Abby, some people have said I suffer from "empty nest syndrome." Others say it's "cabin fever." Any thoughts on what I can do about this? -- PHIL IN PHOENIX

DEAR PHIL: If your daughter left on a Sunday, that may be the reason you become depressed and anxious on that particular day of the week. Or because you are less busy and distracted on Sundays, you become more aware of the fact you are alone. Whether you're experiencing "empty nest syndrome" or "cabin fever" is irrelevant. Discuss your feelings of depression and claustrophobia with a licensed mental health professional so you can be properly diagnosed and receive help for your problem.

DEAR ABBY: The other day my kids asked me why I'm always so angry. I didn't know how to respond. I'm angry that they think their dad is "wonderful" because he plays with them all day (he's not working), takes them to get fast food (instead of cooking something healthy), and because he's their coach (he is having an emotional affair with one of the parents).

I assign chores to the kids because things never get done when I ask my husband to do them. If I remind them "It's trash day" or "Don't forget to vacuum the living room," my husband steps in and says, "I'll do it for you, Billy/Jane," which makes me the bad guy. I know if I ask for a divorce, the kids will want to live with him.

How do I explain this to them? And what do I tell my friends when they ask what a pretty, fit, successful woman like me is doing with an overweight, unemployed, lazy man like him? He's more personable than I am, but the stress of being the sole breadwinner has taken its toll on me. -- NEEDING ANSWERS, LEVITTOWN, PA.

DEAR NEEDING ANSWERS: You're overwhelmed right now, and with the load you're carrying, it's no wonder. You, your husband and the children are overdue for a frank sit-down chat.

It would not be out of line to tell them that the reason you appear to be angry is you are doing it all -- carrying the load financially and being the responsible parent. It would also not be out of line to let them know that every member of the family is expected to do their part, which is why you have assigned them chores -- because Dad is too busy coaching to remember to do it.

As to the fast-food diet, your husband is doing the children -- and himself -- no favors, and he is setting a terrible example.

Now, about your friends: Be honest. Tell them that you married your husband because you loved him at the time, and you are sticking with it because if you dump him, you may wind up supporting him anyway.

DEAR ABBY: I am 14 and have just started high school. I have been told I'm beautiful. Most times I feel that way, except for one thing -- I hate my nose! I don't want to sound ungrateful for my looks. I know I'm not the only girl who has a flaw and wants to change it. I just want your opinion.

From the front you can't tell my nose is messed up. But viewed from the side, there's a bump in the middle. It's also sort of crooked and just too big. I'm starting to be self-conscious about it. I don't like people looking at me from the side, but it's hard to prevent.

I have been researching plastic surgery online. At my age, my parents won't let me get a nose job, but I don't want to wait until I'm 18. Some kids have commented about my nose, but mainly I want to do this for me. It would make me feel better about myself. What am I supposed to do? -- SELF-CONSCIOUS IN MINNESOTA

DEAR SELF-CONSCIOUS: For now, stop looking at yourself in a magnifying mirror and obsessing about your "flaws." You may -- or may not -- want to consider plastic surgery in a few years. I say in a few years because at 14 your features are not yet fully developed. A nose that seems "too big" now may be exactly the right size in a couple of years. If you are still displeased about the bump, there is time to have it smoothed out.

But for now you should wait and develop your personality and your intellect so that people notice you for more than your looks. I'm sure you have many qualities that make you special -- and remember, what makes us unique is sometimes what we mistake as our "flaws."