DEAR ABBY: Several months ago I made a terrible mistake and e-mailed "Tom" -- a friend I had a crush on -- some topless pictures of myself. Tom rejected me because he is happily married. I am married, too, and when my husband, "Jake," discovered the pictures on our computer and realized what I had done, we discussed it and agreed to put them aside and never talk about them again.

Because Tom and I are friends and he was doing some repair work on our home, I have spoken to him on my cell phone numerous times. When Jake saw the phone records and realized I was still talking to Tom, he posted my pictures on an Internet porn site for all the world to see and blamed Tom so I wouldn't speak to him anymore.

Abby, Jake never told me I couldn't speak to Tom. That he made me believe that Tom was the bad guy is upsetting, even though I was wrong in the first place for sending my pictures to him. Do two wrongs make a right? I'm so upset by what Jake did that I don't want him to touch me. In fact, I want a divorce. I don't know what to do. Please help me. -- LINDA IN TEXAS

DEAR LINDA: Your husband was willing to forgive and forget the fact that you were trying to start an affair by sending the photos to Tom. When you "discussed it and agreed never to talk about them again," he took for granted that you would end the "friendship." And you should have. Your actions weren't platonic and were a threat to your own marriage. When your husband realized that the flirtation was ongoing, he punished you in a cruel way.

Two wrongs do NOT make a right. And my advice to you and Jake is to sit down with a marriage counselor, figure out where your relationship went off track and decide, calmly, whether your marriage is worth saving.

DEAR ABBY: My son, "Jeremy," age 25, married his high school sweetheart a little more than a year ago. They live about 4 1/2 hours away.

When Jeremy was growing up, he and I were very close. Since his marriage I have tried not to call as often as I did when he was single. I do call, but now I limit it to once every few weeks, although he rarely answers his phone. I wanted to let him call at his convenience.

He has told me that e-mail is the best way to reach him. The problem is, he doesn't respond to my e-mails, doesn't answer my calls and rarely phones me to see how our family is doing.

I was recently ill and Jeremy didn't even call to see how I was. I'm hurt, and part of me wants to tell him so. I'm afraid if I do I'll alienate him, but I feel he's already alienated. What should I do?

This is really starting to bother me. My son doesn't call his younger brother either (his best man) like before. Should we just back off and leave Jeremy alone? -- IN A SPOT IN VIRGINIA

DEAR IN A SPOT: Your son's life has changed and he has new responsibilities since his marriage, but that's no excuse for him not to answer calls and e-mails from you -- especially if they are as few and far between as you have described. His behavior is extremely rude, and one can only hope it isn't because his bride has taken over and rules the roost. You deserve some answers, so by all means clear the air.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend, "Simon," for a year and a half. He's a good person, but my problem is I suffer from insomnia and have a hard time staying asleep. It is extremely frustrating -- not to mention lonely -- lying in the dark. I start to think about crazy things and it scares me.

If it gets really bad I wake Simon up, but he doesn't understand. He starts going off on me for waking him, to the point that I'm reduced to tears. Then he goes back to sleep.

What should I do? This is a disorder that is going to be with me for some time. Simon doesn't seem to care despite my numerous attempts to explain it to him. I know people hate being awakened from a sleep, but he's my significant other. Isn't he supposed to help me out? -- ANXIOUS IN ANCHORAGE

DEAR ANXIOUS: Of course he should. However, because he is either unwilling or unable to offer the emotional support you need to help you through your night terrors, you are going to have to help yourself. That's why I'm recommending you talk to your physician about a referral to the nearest sleep disorder clinic. You need to understand and overcome whatever is keeping you up, because both you and Simon need a good night's sleep to remain healthy and effective during the daytime.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I are being married in about a month. Some friends in another country (who don't speak English) offered to design and give us our rings as a wedding gift. They asked whether we wanted white or yellow gold, and we specified white or a combination of both -- but not yellow by itself.

Yellow gold is what my parents used to wear -- and they had a terrible relationship and an even worse divorce.

The rings arrived and they are beautiful, but they are yellow gold! I'm assuming something was lost in translation. I know a marriage isn't about the rings, but I had my heart set on wearing ones unlike my parents'.

I don't think anything can be done at this point, and I don't want to raise an objection about such a generous gift. Have you any words of wisdom to help me overcome my hang-ups and this silly feeling of disappointment? -- FEELING SHALLOW IN SUNNY CALIFORNIA

DEAR FEELING SHALLOW: Your parents had a rotten marriage, but their rings had nothing to do with it. We create our own symbols and attach meaning to them. Instead of allowing the gold rings to remind you of your parents' unhappiness, why not let them serve as a reminder of what's important in a marriage so you won't make the same mistakes they did? And if that doesn't work, consult a jeweler about having them plated.

DEAR ABBY: Is it rude to put salt on your food before you have even tried it? My husband was terribly offended when I blurted out, "Try it before you season it!" -- NADINE IN ONTARIO, CANADA

DEAR NADINE: Yes, it is rude. And it's interesting that your husband became so defensive, because usually it's the person who cooked the dish who is offended. The polite thing to do is to first taste the item before deciding to correct the seasoning.

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DEAR ABBY: I spent my high school years chasing girls and participating in sports. I made good grades and was popular with peers and faculty.

I have since graduated and entered college. I have also come out of the closet as gay. Due to popular sites such as Facebook, I have reunited with old friends who are interested to hear about my "new life."

With those not "in the know," I feel uncomfortable having to come out of the closet again and again. I don't feel ashamed about myself or my boyfriend, but I feel a certain discomfort when my former and present lives meet.

I have many friends, old and new, gay and straight, who I care about. But I feel some anxiety over the reactions I get from some of those people, even though they no longer hold a prominent place in my life. I'd greatly appreciate it if you could tell me how to handle and deal with such situations. -- BETWIXT AND BETWEEN IN SAN ANTONIO

DEAR BETWIXT: I understand your anxiety, but the reaction you're getting from some of your old friends is a direct result of how effectively you hid your homosexuality behind chasing girls and the misperception that being a talented athlete has anything to do with a person's sexual orientation.

You need to accept the fact that people will be surprised because they assumed you were straight like they are. Some of them will be accepting; others won't. But the people who count will get beyond it. The way to handle this is with the same humor and compassion you would like from others. It may take some practice and coming to terms with your own feelings, but I have every confidence that you'll do it as thousands of other people have.

DEAR ABBY: I am 48 and recently divorced from my husband of 25 years. Like others in my age group, I worry about my prospects of finding another partner -- especially because I am no longer the "cute young thing" I once was.

A few days ago, I was at a local wildlife park and struck up a conversation with a pleasant senior couple. They looked as though they had been married more than 50 years, but they happily informed me they were on their honeymoon! When we finished our chat, the woman said to her husband, "I guess we'd better be going, baby," and off they went, hand-in-hand.

It just goes to show that it's never too late for love to blossom! -- WILLING TO WAIT IN NOVA SCOTIA

DEAR WILLING TO WAIT: I'll say! My lovely cousin Suzie is being married in about two weeks after 26 years as a widow. It never is too late for love to blossom -- all it takes is a seed of friendship and a couple who decide they're ready to make a commitment.

DEAR ABBY: I am a young woman in my 20s who, while very friendly, is funny about being touched. I am extremely uncomfortable when people outside my immediate family hug me, rub my shoulders or place a hand on my back or arm. Yet somehow, people tend to do this with me.

How can I express my discomfort without sounding antisocial or mean? I'd appreciate your advice. -- TOUCHY SUBJECT

DEAR TOUCHY SUBJECT: Do it with humor. Say, "If you do that again, you'll have to marry me!" It should work with members of both sexes, depending upon the state you live in.