DEAR ABBY: Your advice to "Sick of Waiting in Denver" (June 25) will help a number of our patients. Physicians don't want frustrated and angry patients, and we don't plan our day expecting long waits. Your suggestion that when a doctor is running more than 15 minutes late, the next person should be warned is appropriate.

Your other suggestion to call the doctor's office an hour ahead of time to see if he/she is on schedule might not work. The physician might be on schedule, but a problem could arise that throws him/her off. Arriving at the office and finding the doctor horribly backed up after hearing that he was on schedule at the time of the phone call would be upsetting.

Unfortunately, I haven't found an easy solution to this in my 25 years of practice. It does help to focus on good manners and empathy, and to alert patients at the time of check-in if there's a problem, which allows them to return or reschedule. Of course, the physician conveying personally to his patients that their time is as important as his also goes a long way. -- MARC SCHNEIDERMAN, M.D., PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR DR. SCHNEIDERMAN: Amen to that, and thank you for saying so. Read on for some of the comments I received from patients:

DEAR ABBY: I find it interesting that the doctor's rights are prominently posted in the waiting room, e.g., co-pays are due before you see the doctor, if you don't cancel your appointment 24 hours in advance and you fail to show up, you will be billed for the appointment. But nowhere do you see the patients' rights posted.

As a patient I insist on one simple right -- that the doctor see me within 15 minutes of the appointed time made by his/her staff. Last year I fired two doctors for keeping me waiting. In both cases I let the doctor know I would no longer be seeing them and why. One had the gall to tell me his patients EXPECTED to wait for him!

As patients, we enable doctors to get away with unprofessional behavior by not insisting on accountability. I am a professional, and time spent in a doctor's office is time taken away from my clients. My time is as valuable to me as the doctors' time is to them. -- LARRY W., SUN CITY, ARIZ.

DEAR ABBY: I suggest that whenever possible, patients should request the first appointment in the morning or after lunch. The chances of being seen on time are greater at those times. -- MAGGIE B., DANA POINT, CALIF.

DEAR ABBY: My husband had an appointment with a physician who kept him waiting an hour in the waiting room and nearly another hour in the examination room. When the doctor finally appeared, my husband complained about the long wait.

"I'm a doctor and I can't be rushed," he responded. "If I make a mistake, someone could DIE."

My husband, without missing a beat said, "Really? Well, I'm an architect. If I make a mistake, THOUSANDS could die. I guess I win."

With that, he got dressed and walked out. Needless to say, we never returned to that doctor.

I disagree that it is the patient's job to make sure the doctor isn't running late. His office staff can easily inform people of that fact when they walk in, giving them the option of waiting if they wish (or can). -- NO LONGER WAITING, HARMONY, PA.

DEAR ABBY: I am a professional. My hourly fees are similar to those of doctors. My policy is any waiting time after 30 minutes, I bill the doctor for my time. -- PATRICK IN SAN ANSELMO

DEAR ABBY: I will be going into the seventh grade soon. I'll be in all advanced classes, and I am also doing several sports. My problem is I'm very nervous.

I'm afraid of getting lost on my way to my classes, that I'll have a hard time meeting new people and that I'll be overwhelmed with work. One night I had a dream about all my fears coming true! Is there any way I can get past these feelings and enjoy my first few days at school? -- NERVOUS IN CHEYENNE

DEAR NERVOUS: Absolutely. Just remind yourself that every single student who will be entering seventh grade with you is probably experiencing similar feelings. If you get lost looking for a classroom, a teacher or someone else will be glad to help you find your way. It won't be difficult to meet new people because they'll be all around you, and everyone in your grade will be in the same boat.

P.S. You wouldn't have been assigned to advanced classes if you weren't up to the workload. So, trust me, and relax.

DEAR ABBY: After years of soul-searching I have finally realized that I'm an atheist. I am happy with that realization and at peace with myself.

One minor thing, though, has been baffling me. When expressing compassion, usually in letters or other written form, I see the phrase, "My thoughts and prayers are with you." I like the phrase, but cannot in good conscience state an outright lie when I know I won't pray.

Can you think of any non-religious alternative that I can use? I feel that using "My thoughts are with you" alone is missing something. -- JILL IN MICHIGAN

DEAR JILL: I disagree. The phrase "My thoughts are with you" is direct and sincere. If you think you must add more, describe the emotions you are feeling, i.e., "I miss you," "I hope you're feeling better soon" or, "Please know you're always in my heart." In other words, tailor your words to the occasion and the person to whom they are directed.

DEAR ABBY: My neighbors and I are extremely concerned about my next-door neighbor of 38 years, "Anne." She was always somewhat of a narcissist, and her husband has always been an unsociable, passive-aggressive bore who thinks he's always right.

Since he retired, Anne has been drinking. She even asked one of our neighbors' sons if he had any marijuana. She seems to live in a fantasy world and tells stories that aren't true.

Anne never talks to anyone on the phone anymore and has become isolated from most of her former friends. When people ring her doorbell, she pretends she isn't home. She is always with her husband and only expresses his likes, opinions and thoughts. He apparently likes these changes in his wife, but the rest of us find them alarming.

When we ask Anne if anything is wrong, she says "everything is fine." Do you think there is anything we can do to help her? -- SAN CARLOS NEIGHBOR

DEAR NEIGHBOR: Does Anne have any children or siblings that you know of? If the answer is yes, contact them and let them know there have been significant changes in her behavior and that you and the other neighbors are worried about her.

However, if she doesn't, and because she insists that everything is fine, make sure she knows that you and her other friends care about her. Tell her you are concerned because you rarely have contact with her, but will be there for her as always if she needs you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I live and work in a delightful resort town. Lately, we have noticed a trend among our friends and family who are traveling to our town. Instead of calling in advance, many of them call us on the day they hope to see us. In the last two weeks, it has happened three times.

These are people we like and would enjoy seeing, but we work full-time and we usually need a little more advance notice.

We know our friends make plans well in advance to book airline reservations, so we're baffled that they don't contact us while they are making their travel plans. What can we say when our friends call hoping to see us and then are disappointed when we already have plans? -- BEACH DWELLERS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BEACH DWELLERS: Tell them that you are disappointed, too, and the next time they plan to be in the area to please call sooner because you make your plans in advance and can't cancel the ones you already have.