DEAR ABBY: I will be going into the seventh grade soon. I'll be in all advanced classes, and I am also doing several sports. My problem is I'm very nervous.

I'm afraid of getting lost on my way to my classes, that I'll have a hard time meeting new people and that I'll be overwhelmed with work. One night I had a dream about all my fears coming true! Is there any way I can get past these feelings and enjoy my first few days at school? -- NERVOUS IN CHEYENNE

DEAR NERVOUS: Absolutely. Just remind yourself that every single student who will be entering seventh grade with you is probably experiencing similar feelings. If you get lost looking for a classroom, a teacher or someone else will be glad to help you find your way. It won't be difficult to meet new people because they'll be all around you, and everyone in your grade will be in the same boat.

P.S. You wouldn't have been assigned to advanced classes if you weren't up to the workload. So, trust me, and relax.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is starting to seriously embarrass me. He has to relieve himself almost every time he walks outside. We have a truck sitting in our yard, and when we have company he walks behind it to do his business. He says it "saves water." What? A nickel's worth?

Our 14-year-old son is starting to do the same thing. He can be walking down the street and stop to pee by the side of the road. It's impossible to correct him when his dad does it, too.

How do I fix this? I have tried talking to them, but it doesn't work. -- TEED OFF IN TENNESSEE

DEAR TEED OFF: Not knowing your husband, I can't determine whether he's "marking his turf" or has trouble controlling his bladder. If your husband's behavior started recently, inform his doctor. He should be checked from stem to stern because he could have a medical problem.

As to your son, he is imitating his dad. Depending on the laws in your community regarding exposing oneself and public urination, he could get himself in trouble. So please impress upon him that what he's doing is not only socially unacceptable but also could have a negative impact on his future, and you want it stopped immediately.

DEAR ABBY: After years of soul-searching I have finally realized that I'm an atheist. I am happy with that realization and at peace with myself.

One minor thing, though, has been baffling me. When expressing compassion, usually in letters or other written form, I see the phrase, "My thoughts and prayers are with you." I like the phrase, but cannot in good conscience state an outright lie when I know I won't pray.

Can you think of any non-religious alternative that I can use? I feel that using "My thoughts are with you" alone is missing something. -- JILL IN MICHIGAN

DEAR JILL: I disagree. The phrase "My thoughts are with you" is direct and sincere. If you think you must add more, describe the emotions you are feeling, i.e., "I miss you," "I hope you're feeling better soon" or, "Please know you're always in my heart." In other words, tailor your words to the occasion and the person to whom they are directed.

DEAR ABBY: My neighbors and I are extremely concerned about my next-door neighbor of 38 years, "Anne." She was always somewhat of a narcissist, and her husband has always been an unsociable, passive-aggressive bore who thinks he's always right.

Since he retired, Anne has been drinking. She even asked one of our neighbors' sons if he had any marijuana. She seems to live in a fantasy world and tells stories that aren't true.

Anne never talks to anyone on the phone anymore and has become isolated from most of her former friends. When people ring her doorbell, she pretends she isn't home. She is always with her husband and only expresses his likes, opinions and thoughts. He apparently likes these changes in his wife, but the rest of us find them alarming.

When we ask Anne if anything is wrong, she says "everything is fine." Do you think there is anything we can do to help her? -- SAN CARLOS NEIGHBOR

DEAR NEIGHBOR: Does Anne have any children or siblings that you know of? If the answer is yes, contact them and let them know there have been significant changes in her behavior and that you and the other neighbors are worried about her.

However, if she doesn't, and because she insists that everything is fine, make sure she knows that you and her other friends care about her. Tell her you are concerned because you rarely have contact with her, but will be there for her as always if she needs you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I live and work in a delightful resort town. Lately, we have noticed a trend among our friends and family who are traveling to our town. Instead of calling in advance, many of them call us on the day they hope to see us. In the last two weeks, it has happened three times.

These are people we like and would enjoy seeing, but we work full-time and we usually need a little more advance notice.

We know our friends make plans well in advance to book airline reservations, so we're baffled that they don't contact us while they are making their travel plans. What can we say when our friends call hoping to see us and then are disappointed when we already have plans? -- BEACH DWELLERS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR BEACH DWELLERS: Tell them that you are disappointed, too, and the next time they plan to be in the area to please call sooner because you make your plans in advance and can't cancel the ones you already have.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend, "Ashley," and I have been dating exclusively for about two years. Last week, her boss asked her to be his friend's date so he and his girlfriend and the friend could attend a concert for which he had tickets.

I was upset about it, but Ashley said that because I couldn't afford tickets she was going to take the opportunity and go. In other words, she accepted the offer to be his friend's date in order to attend.

Am I right to be upset with my girlfriend for being her boss's friend's date? -- HURT IN INDIANA

DEAR HURT: Yes, because it appears that for the price of a concert ticket your relationship with Ashley is no longer "exclusive," and she went in spite of your feelings. It was also inappropriate for her boss to ask her to be someone's "date," especially if he knew she had a steady boyfriend.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 22-year-old male who has never been in a serious relationship. About six months ago, I went away to grad school and met a girl. We have become good friends. We talk a lot and I flirt, but I'm not sure if she's flirting back.

She laughs at my stupid jokes and touches me when we joke around, but I think she may regard me as just a friend. I enjoy having her as a friend, but I can't stop thinking about how I'd like to be more than just friends. Should I take the chance and tell her how I feel and risk our friendship -- or let things remain the way they are? -- WANTS MORE IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR WANTS MORE: Take the chance and tell her. Faint heart never won fair lady. A clue that she might be mutually attracted to you is the fact that she touches you.

If she isn't attracted to you, you can still be friends -- but you'll be psychologically free to look elsewhere for romance. Please write back and tell me what happens -- I'm dying to know.

DEAR ABBY: I have just learned that my older sister, "Lindy" (who is currently living with our parents), has been married for two months. I'm the only one who knows. Lindy's husband moved out of state to take a temporary job.

I know if my parents knew, they'd be upset and would no longer allow her to live with them. Their position is if you're old enough to get married, you should be financially independent. As it stands, she is currently on their medical insurance, pays no rent and is attending school on their dollar.

She and her husband had planned to keep this a secret from everyone. I just found out, and it makes me sick. She's getting a free ride at my parents' expense.

I promised Lindy I'd keep her secret, but I think what she's doing is wrong and has the potential to hurt my parents financially and emotionally. I am tempted to tell them anyway. How do you think I should handle this? -- I'VE GOT A SECRET IN UTAH

DEAR GOT A SECRET: You should strongly encourage your sister to level with your parents for the reasons you stated. But do not betray her confidence because if you do, she will never confide in you again. It's not as though Lindy is on drugs, unmarried and pregnant or in a life-threatening situation. Your parents will find out eventually, and she'll face the music then.

DEAR ABBY: Whenever my brother sees a family member eat something unhealthy (salty chips, ice cream, etc.), he thinks it's OK to comment on what we're eating and what it will do to our bodies. I think it is rude.

We know that not everything we eat is perfectly healthy, but we know to eat these things in moderation. (None of us is overweight, by the way.)

My brother claims he makes these comments because he "cares about us," but I think it's rude to do it while we're eating. What do you think? -- CHRISTINA IN FAIRFIELD, OHIO

DEAR CHRISTINA: I agree. There is nothing so hard to swallow as unasked-for advice, particularly when you're eating. Your brother may mean well, or he may be a know-it-all, but his timing is off. Ignore him, and when he sees he doesn't get a rise out of you, he'll stop.