DEAR ABBY: Two weeks ago, I went on a fishing trip with my father-in-law. It was great. I caught the biggest fish of my life. I kept it so I could have it mounted when I returned home.

When we arrived back at my in-laws', my father-in-law took the fish out of the cooler and claimed he had caught it. At first, I thought he was joking, but now he's planning on having the fish mounted!

I didn't want to make him look bad in front of his daughter and his wife, but I am furious. My wife thinks I'm overreacting, but this really is the big one that got away. Should I confront him and call his bluff? -- SOMETHING'S FISHY IN NEW YORK

DEAR SOMETHING'S FISHY: If you were going to confront your father-in-law, you should have done so as soon as he took credit for catching your fish. Instead of being "furious," be grateful that you now have a clear insight into the man's character. That he would lie about something like this calls into question anything that has ever -- or will ever -- come out of his mouth.

DEAR ABBY: My 8-year-old nephew was diagnosed with autism at the age of 3. He has made amazing progress with therapy and has advanced so he is practically functioning at his age level.

Our entire family has teamed up and joined a charity that raises money for autism. We have devoted our time and energy to this important cause. My sister (my nephew's mother) refuses to get involved! She says she is "too busy."

We all work and have other activities, yet we still make time to devote to this cause. She doesn't work and has no other responsibilities outside her family that prohibit her from participating. She says raising money isn't something she likes to do.

I don't have much time for it either, but our family MAKES the time because this cause is important to us. It makes me furious that she won't help raise money for her own child's disorder. How can I talk to her about this without seeming confrontational? -- RAISING MONEY IN FLORIDA

DEAR RAISING MONEY: I urge you to refrain from doing so. For heaven's sake, your sister is the mother of a child who is working hard to overcome a disorder. She has a full-time job -- one that lasts 24 hours a day, seven days a week. She is not malingering, so stop judging her.

DEAR ABBY: I am a happily married woman. Fifteen years ago, I was married to another man I'll call "Mario." Mario and I divorced after four years and ended it as friends.

Mario and I have both been in the restaurant business separately as well as together. Mario called me two days ago and asked me if he could hire me for his newest venture because he knows what a good manager I am. When I mentioned it to my present husband, he was adamantly against it.

Do you see anything wrong with my working with my ex? -- "CYNDIE" IN SOUTH FLORIDA

DEAR "CYNDIE": I don't -- but obviously your present husband does, because he's threatened by the idea. It appears you have an important decision to make. Which is more important to you -- the job, or keeping peace in your marriage?

DEAR ABBY: I know you're not a beauty consultant, but I'm hoping you can help me. I'm a middle-aged woman with a small income and aging skin. What can a woman who cannot afford cosmetic procedures do about this inevitable problem? My medical insurance will not cover Botox or surgery.

A number of celebrities endorse "anti-aging" products on television. The over-the-counter ones I have tried have not helped. Any suggestions? -- FAITHFUL READER, UTICA, N.Y.

DEAR READER: I'll share some advice my mother -- who still has beautiful skin at 91 -- shared with me after she noticed the faces of her golfing and sun-worshipping friends were beginning to look like leather: Shun the sun. Dermatologists have also mentioned that nothing ages skin like exposure to sunlight -- unless it's smoking. So when you're outside, "preserve your assets" by always wearing sunscreen and a wide-brimmed hat, even if it's overcast.

Also, because a celebrity has her name on a product is no guarantee that it will work. The best beauty secret I know is a good dermatologist. So save your pennies until you have enough to consult one. Dermatologists offer products that are not sold in stores, and can help you select something that will work for you.

DEAR ABBY: At what age should a child be taught to write thank-you notes for gifts?

I had my children writing thank-you notes as soon as they could write. My sister-in-law still writes thank-you notes or e-mails for her 22-year-old son. Shouldn't he be doing that for himself at this point? -- QUESTIONING AUNTY IN CRANFORD, N.J.

DEAR QUESTIONING: Absolutely. Your nephew should have been taught the art of writing thank-you notes at the same age that your children were. Your sister-in-law has done her son no favors by allowing him to depend on her to do it for him because I'm sure you are not the only person to receive one from her and find it peculiar.

DEAR ABBY: My grandfather left me money from his life insurance policy, but left none to my sister. The money could help me get our family out of debt, purchase a house and pay for my son's education.

My sister has repeatedly made poor choices and expected others to clean up after her. Word got out that I received the inheritance, and I was told I should give her some. I know in the back of my mind that she'll do something stupid with it.

Grandpa left me the money -- not my sister. Why do I feel so guilty about deciding not to give my sister the money? -- MONEY BLUES IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MONEY BLUES: Close your eyes and clear your mind. Ask yourself that question and then speak the first words that pop into your head without censoring and you'll have your answer.

Who told you you should give your sister some of the money? Your sister? Your mother? Please remember that your grandfather left the money to you -- and only you -- for a reason. And it may have been that he had already cleaned up a mess or two for your sister in the past.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Laurie," is being married soon. Her fiance, "Peter," is a likable young man. He is, however, a sports fanatic who stays glued to the television whenever a game is playing. Laurie is aware of his passion, and because she loves Peter, she doesn't have a problem with it.

They have both now stated that if their team is in the playoffs or the World Series, they want TVs brought in for the guests at the wedding reception.

I am opposed to the idea. This will be a formal wedding and reception at an expensive hotel, and we are paying for it. I think Peter and Laurie should regard the day they take their vows as a once-in-a-lifetime event and forgo the game. Guests who feel compelled to check the score may do so in the bar or in their rooms. At the risk of being rude, I don't want to encourage the sports zeal by bringing in television sets.

Am I hopelessly out of touch and old-fashioned? Please help. This may escalate to a confrontation before the wedding. -- VOICE OF REASON

DEAR V.O.R.: You aren't out of touch or old-fashioned. You are simply not a sports fan. Although you have generously agreed to pay for the reception, I hope you will relent and provide a set to be placed to one side. Remember, it is Laurie and Peter's wedding, and their guests may feel as they do. Imagine your embarrassment if the bride and groom were also in the bar or in their room instead of enjoying their own reception.

P.S. If your daughter is not a committed sports fan, I hope she's a good sport, because every anniversary will be celebrated at a stadium or in front of a TV.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 22-year-old woman living in the Midwest. I was born here, but have also lived on both coasts. Having lived elsewhere, I have come to realize that the grass really IS greener on the other side.

I was forced to move back here at 17 because of a death in the family. Ever since, my life has been going down the drain. I'm depressed and unhappy. I have nothing here but bad memories.

The only thing keeping me here is my fiance. He loves living close to his friends and family, and he wants to stay. I can't talk him into moving. I am not willing to leave him and he feels the same. But I can't see myself being happy here or his being happy elsewhere. What should I do? -- UNSETTLED IN OHIO

DEAR UNSETTLED: If this is where you met the man you love, then surely not all the memories you have of that city are bad ones. Your unhappiness may stem from the fact that you have been spending too much time looking backward rather than living in the present and looking forward to the future.

Some sessions with a psychologist might help you unload the baggage from your past -- but if it doesn't, then my advice is that you take a break and revisit the coasts. If you do, you may decide that the grass is really greener in Ohio. And if not, you'll both be better off.

DEAR ABBY: While it is perfectly acceptable for a man to send flowers to his girlfriend's workplace, what is acceptable for a woman to send to her boyfriend's place of employment?

Please help, Abby! -- STUCK IN CHEYENNE

DEAR STUCK: Because your gift is arriving "in public" (so to speak), send nothing so intimate that you wouldn't want his boss to see. Cookies, fudge or a box of candy would, I am sure, be appreciated -- not only by your boyfriend but also his co-workers!