DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Laurie," is being married soon. Her fiance, "Peter," is a likable young man. He is, however, a sports fanatic who stays glued to the television whenever a game is playing. Laurie is aware of his passion, and because she loves Peter, she doesn't have a problem with it.

They have both now stated that if their team is in the playoffs or the World Series, they want TVs brought in for the guests at the wedding reception.

I am opposed to the idea. This will be a formal wedding and reception at an expensive hotel, and we are paying for it. I think Peter and Laurie should regard the day they take their vows as a once-in-a-lifetime event and forgo the game. Guests who feel compelled to check the score may do so in the bar or in their rooms. At the risk of being rude, I don't want to encourage the sports zeal by bringing in television sets.

Am I hopelessly out of touch and old-fashioned? Please help. This may escalate to a confrontation before the wedding. -- VOICE OF REASON

DEAR V.O.R.: You aren't out of touch or old-fashioned. You are simply not a sports fan. Although you have generously agreed to pay for the reception, I hope you will relent and provide a set to be placed to one side. Remember, it is Laurie and Peter's wedding, and their guests may feel as they do. Imagine your embarrassment if the bride and groom were also in the bar or in their room instead of enjoying their own reception.

P.S. If your daughter is not a committed sports fan, I hope she's a good sport, because every anniversary will be celebrated at a stadium or in front of a TV.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 22-year-old woman living in the Midwest. I was born here, but have also lived on both coasts. Having lived elsewhere, I have come to realize that the grass really IS greener on the other side.

I was forced to move back here at 17 because of a death in the family. Ever since, my life has been going down the drain. I'm depressed and unhappy. I have nothing here but bad memories.

The only thing keeping me here is my fiance. He loves living close to his friends and family, and he wants to stay. I can't talk him into moving. I am not willing to leave him and he feels the same. But I can't see myself being happy here or his being happy elsewhere. What should I do? -- UNSETTLED IN OHIO

DEAR UNSETTLED: If this is where you met the man you love, then surely not all the memories you have of that city are bad ones. Your unhappiness may stem from the fact that you have been spending too much time looking backward rather than living in the present and looking forward to the future.

Some sessions with a psychologist might help you unload the baggage from your past -- but if it doesn't, then my advice is that you take a break and revisit the coasts. If you do, you may decide that the grass is really greener in Ohio. And if not, you'll both be better off.

DEAR ABBY: While it is perfectly acceptable for a man to send flowers to his girlfriend's workplace, what is acceptable for a woman to send to her boyfriend's place of employment?

Please help, Abby! -- STUCK IN CHEYENNE

DEAR STUCK: Because your gift is arriving "in public" (so to speak), send nothing so intimate that you wouldn't want his boss to see. Cookies, fudge or a box of candy would, I am sure, be appreciated -- not only by your boyfriend but also his co-workers!

DEAR ABBY: My mother recently moved into a senior housing complex, which she loves. Now my mother-in-law, "Irene," has decided she wants to move there, too. The problem is, my mother does not want to live near Irene. Although Mom has always been nice to her, she has never liked her.

There are fewer than 50 apartments in the complex and only one dining area. Moving Mother elsewhere is out of the question because she signed a lease. Both Mom and Irene are in their 80s. I don't want to hurt my husband of 46 years or his mother. I feel like I'm ... IN A REAL PICKLE IN MICHIGAN

DEAR IN A PICKLE: Irene is eager to move into the complex because she has no doubt heard how much your mother loves living there and she probably doesn't know about any others. Your husband should encourage his mother to start looking around for an "even better" place. Surely after all these years, the fact that your mother isn't crazy about his won't devastate him. My advice is help Irene by scouting other locations right away.

P.S. She might be more open to the idea if your mother stopped bragging and started doing some complaining.

DEAR ABBY: Our nephew recently asked family members for money to help him go on a mission for his church. Apparently he is supposed to gather 50 sponsors to pay a "tax deductible" $50 to $100 per month for two years (via direct bill or credit card), according to the forms from his church.

We love our nephew and his parents, but we do not share their religious beliefs. And quite frankly, the request has upset more than a few members of the family because the amount requested is obviously not just to support the young man, but a way to support his church.

Help! How do we respond to such a "charitable" request? -- EMBARRASSED IN ARIZONA

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Respond by writing your nephew a sweet note wishing him well on his mission, and explaining that you do not feel comfortable donating. In no way are you obligated to fork over money -- via credit card or any other way -- and you should not feel embarrassed for declining to donate.

DEAR ABBY: My son, "Rick," is divorcing his wife of five years, "June." It is a painful process and sad not only for them, but also the extended family.

Over the last three years June has developed symptoms of paranoia to the extent that Rick can no longer go out with friends or office associates. She thinks he's having an affair -- which he is not. She checks his cell phone, reads his e-mails and has turned to alcohol for comfort.

I am relieved that June is now on medication for her symptoms, but the damage is done.

How should I respond to innocent inquiries as to how my son and his wife are doing? We have many friends who know them well. I'm hoping you can give me an appropriate response that will protect both of them until they're able to get their lives back on track. -- MOURNING IN IOWA

DEAR MOURNING: Allow me to suggest a couple: "Rick and June have decided to go their separate ways," or, "They're divorced." You are not obligated to give any more details than that, nor should you.

DEAR ABBY: I feel like my heart has been ripped out and stomped on. My 18-year-old daughter, "Emily," hooked up with a 27-year-old ex-convict ("Jerry") and had his baby three months ago. Although we disapproved of the relationship, we let him move into our home. A month later, I caught him with another girl and my daughter ended their relationship.

Last week, Emily announced that Jerry wants her back and has admitted all his wrongs. Abby, she wants us to let him move back in! My husband refuses to support them any longer. Emily has now chosen Jerry and says she is taking the baby, even though she has no place to go because he's still living with the other girl. Neither of them can afford an apartment.

I feel if I don't go along with it I am throwing my innocent grandchild out into the street, and it breaks my heart. Is tough love the right answer? -- CRYING IN VIRGINIA

DEAR CRYING: Yes, so call her bluff. Tough love would be better than allowing your daughter to blackmail you, which is what she's attempting to do. It's unlikely that Emily will wind up on the street.

I seriously doubt that Jerry will give up a sure thing and a roof over his head to build a life with your daughter. When she wakes up to that fact, I predict she'll be back on your doorstep -- so be prepared.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's grandson just graduated from the eighth grade. Because he lives in another part of the state we were unable to attend the graduation, but we sent him a graduation card with $5 enclosed.

My husband's daughter called to acknowledge the card "for" her son. Then she asked if my husband was having financial difficulties because he sent only $5 while some of her friends gave her son $50. She said we should have sent more. My husband was so shocked by her insensitivity that he hung up on her.

His daughter did not call or send a card on Father's Day. However, today we received a card from his grandson thanking us for the $5 and saying if we had dug deeper and added $1, he could have bought a slice of pizza.

Abby, how do we respond to these two? -- HURT GRANDPARENTS, ANAHEIM, CALIF.

DEAR HURT GRANDPARENTS: Unbelievable. Your husband was kind to send the boy anything in addition to the card. His daughter's response shows where her priorities are. I'll give her son this: He did acknowledge the gift -- but he should have stopped at thank you and omitted the snide remark.

How should the two of you respond? By keeping the lines of communication open and your wallet closed.

DEAR ABBY: I was raised to respect people's personal space, especially when standing in line. However, often when I stand in line patiently waiting my turn, I find the person behind me practically breathing down my neck. I keep telling myself to politely ask for space, but I can't muster the courage because I'm afraid they will think I'm rude. How can I ask for space without sounding rude? -- NEEDS MY SPACE IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR NEEDS YOUR SPACE: For heaven's sake, muster the courage. The last thing you need is a stranger standing behind you watching you enter a pin number on a debit card.

There is nothing nasty about turning around and saying that when someone stands too close it makes you uncomfortable and to please step back. Speaking up for yourself isn't rude. It's being assertive -- which is healthy when compared to feeling like a doormat.

For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding." Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)