DEAR ABBY: I am writing this in response to the letter from "Trying to Make a Difference in Ohio" (April 21). She is the 12-year-old girl who wants to help other students be more accepting of kids with special needs.

My name is Anthony Kennedy Shriver, and I am the founder of Best Buddies International, a nonprofit dedicated to enhancing the lives of people with intellectual disabilities by providing opportunities for one-to-one friendships and integrated employment.

I believe that friendship is the key to building the self-esteem essential to a happy and productive life, and that is why I started Best Buddies. In just two decades, Best Buddies has grown from one chapter to more than 1,400 chapters in 42 countries. Our six programs -- Best Buddies Middle Schools, High Schools, Colleges, Citizens, e-Buddies and Jobs -- positively impact more than 400,000 individuals with and without intellectual disabilities annually.

At Best Buddies, we envision a world where people with intellectual disabilities are recognized for their ABILITIES, embraced by society and valued in the workplace. Until that vision becomes a reality, we will continue to educate middle school, high school and college students; community members; corporations and employers about the emotional, functional and natural needs and abilities of people with intellectual disabilities.

I would like to add one more piece of advice to yours. I'd advise "Trying to Make a Difference" to visit bestbuddies.org to find out how to get involved with Best Buddies and urge her friends to do the same. And when school starts again, if her school does not have a chapter, I would encourage them to start one. In friendship ... ANTHONY KENNEDY SHRIVER, FOUNDER AND CHAIRMAN, BEST BUDDIES INTERNATIONAL

DEAR ANTHONY: Thank you for the suggestion. After the letter from "Trying to Make a Difference" was published, I heard from readers telling me what an important difference your program makes in the lives of children with special needs. I also heard from their parents, describing what a huge difference just one child can make if he or she reaches out a hand in friendship. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My son is autistic and was teased badly by his classmates. I worked with the school to address the issue. The school talked to some wonderful older students about mentoring my son. They became his buddies, keeping an eye on him and teaching him how to more appropriately interact with other kids.

The truth is, there are far more nice kids than mean ones in this world, and finding students eager to help wasn't hard at all. The day those kids walked up to my son and asked him if he wanted to play catch was the happiest day in his life. He beamed from ear to ear, and he hasn't stopped since.

Any young person can absolutely change the life of a child with special needs just by being a friend. -- DIAN IN OAK PARK, ILL.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a speech language clinician who has worked for more than 25 years in the public schools. I have found that presenting information to students about what it means to have a disabling condition is essential. Once children talk about actions they see that are not "normal," they learn to understand how "normal" these actions are to some children.

In our school, once the students become aware, they will seek out special needs children and include them in games and at lunch. We have implemented Recess Buddies, Lunch Buddies and social-skill whole-class lessons, which have met with success. -- VALERIE IN VERNON, CONN.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, age 15, was just diagnosed with the herpes virus, and she is devastated by the news. I had cautioned her to wait until she was older to become sexually active because I understand that decisions made in haste cannot be unmade, and some -- as in this case -- carry lifelong consequences. I also know that many, if not all, teenage girls do not cope very well with all the baggage that goes along with having sex.

At the time we had that discussion my daughter brushed me off. She said I couldn't look at the situation clearly because my feelings were influenced by my own mistakes and regrets. Now she sees that I knew what I was talking about.

Besides having to deal with a lifelong contagious disease and the possibility of infecting someone else, she has to deal with her irresponsible boyfriend who is threatening to tell people that they are infected and it's all her fault.

Please tell me what I can do to protect my daughter from further harm. And please caution other teens about the risks of unprotected sex while letting them know that moms and dads really DO know what is best for them. -- DEVASTATED MOM IN OHIO

DEAR MOM: It isn't enough to tell young men and women to wait until they are older to have sex. In addition to that message they need to know how to protect themselves against an unplanned pregnancy, about the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD) and how to prevent it if they do become sexually active, and how to recognize the symptoms if they do get one so it can be promptly treated.

The rate of STDs in teens today is very high. It is estimated that one in four young women in the U.S. ages 14 to 19 is infected with at least one common STD including herpes, HPV, chlamydia and trich (trichomoniasis).

Most STDs often have no symptoms -- until there are more serious complications. Left untreated, some can make it difficult to conceive in adulthood.

Teens who are sexually active should have an STD checkup at least once a year. And any teen who thinks she -- or he -- might have an STD or learns that a sex partner has one should go and get tested right away.

Because there have been financial cutbacks in education, comprehensive sex education classes are being -- and have been -- eliminated. I publish a booklet, "What Every Teen Should Know," that is frank, informative and answers many of the questions teens ask about drugs, alcohol and sex. Many parents find conversations about sex difficult to start, and my booklet has helped many parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents start the discussion.

It can be ordered by sending your name and address, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

You asked me how to protect your daughter now that her boyfriend is threatening to say this is all her fault. Much as you might wish to, you can't muzzle the young man. You can have a chat with his parents and let them impress upon their son how unwise that kind of slander would be for both of them. And that's what I'm advising you to do.

DEAR ABBY: During college I had a great friend, "Julia." We were roommates and had several classes together. When I became engaged, Julia was my obvious pick for maid of honor. She did a very nice job, and I will be forever grateful.

After college, Julia met "Dirk." This man is a spoiled child who has kept Julia away from me and her other friends. Dirk controls their social calendar and is generally a jerk who complains if he doesn't get his way. Since meeting him, Julia has become distant and her warm personality has changed.

Julia and Dirk are being married, and I am Julia's matron of honor. I accepted because I felt forced to reciprocate and because Julia has alienated herself from all of her other friends. I feel awful for not being excited about my former close friend's wedding, but this isn't the girl I knew in college. She doesn't communicate with me often and is currently no longer on speaking terms with one particular bridesmaid.

Abby, how should I act at a wedding I don't agree with, celebrating a fair-weather friend and her jerk fiance? -- DREADING IT IN N.Y.

DEAR DREADING IT: Has it occurred to you that Julia's personality has changed because she's involved with a control freak who has cut her off from everyone but you? You are calling her a fair-weather friend, but what kind of friend are you?

If you care at all about her, have a frank talk with her NOW. Tell her you are concerned because she has become isolated from all her friends and has distanced herself from you to such a degree that you're no longer comfortable participating in her wedding. It would be better than plastering on a smile and taking part in something you think is a charade.

As for reciprocity -- you can stand up for her at her next wedding, because if her fiance is the jerk you describe him to be, this marriage won't last.

DEAR ABBY: How does one share the news of an impending divorce with friends and family? Due to our financial circumstances and the particularly amicable nature of our breakup, my husband and I still live together and we will probably continue this arrangement for a while, so there aren't a lot of obvious indicators.

I hate the thought of the news being passed through the local grapevine as nasty -- and potentially untrue -- gossip. How do other folks manage it? -- SOON-TO-BE DIVORCEE IN LOUISIANA

DEAR SOON-TO-BE DIVORCEE: Here's how: by presenting a united front. The first people to hear the news should be your parents. Then inform other family members and friends. The message you need to convey is: "The two of us have agreed to end our marriage. While this may come as a surprise to all of you, our decision is mutual. While we care for each other and intend to remain friends, we no longer want to be husband and wife. If you love us as we know you do, please do not ask for further details because we both would rather not discuss it at this time."

If anyone should be insensitive enough to question you further, your response should be unanimous: "We'd rather not talk about it."