DEAR ABBY: I met "Paul" through an ad I placed on an Internet dating service. We have been out in person and have also been cyber-dating for nearly a year. Paul used to live close by, but he got an offer on his place, so he sold it and moved to his second home in another state. He invited me to come along, but because I had college-aged children still residing with me, I didn't move.

My kids have now moved into places of their own, and Paul has asked that we buy our own house in the state where my kids live. I agreed. The problem is my extended family. Except for my sister, everyone thinks I'm being taken advantage of. Paul has more money than I will ever have in my life. I trust and love him. My children approve of our relationship.

Does it matter that most of our relationship thus far has been spent on the Internet? We talk on the phone, chat online and probably spend more time together than couples living together do. How do I politely tell my family to back off? If I get hurt, I get hurt -- but it's a chance I'm willing to take. -- HAPPY AND HOPING IN MICHIGAN

DEAR HAPPY AND HOPING: I have a suggestion. While in some areas the real estate market is beginning to recover, it should become even better as the economy improves -- so why don't you and Paul rent out your houses for now, and rent an apartment for a year in the area in which you are considering buying? That way, you won't be rushing into a purchase in an area you're not familiar with, and you and Paul can decide if you're as compatible in person as you are on the phone and Internet. Please understand I am not implying that there is anything wrong with Paul, only that you should not rush into making a hefty financial investment while in the heat of passion.

DEAR ABBY: My husband was laid off in 2008 and has searched everywhere, even out of state, for a job and found nothing. I feel bad for him because he is home 24/7. I try to get him out of the house to no avail, and when I ask him to tell me how he really feels, he says he's fine and that he will be OK.

I want him to express the way he feels because he is keeping all of his pain and stress to himself. How can I help him? -- WORRIED WIFE IN ENGLEWOOD, N.J.

DEAR WORRIED WIFE: Men and women do not always express their innermost feelings in the same way, so please stop trying to pry the pain and stress out of your husband or you may add to it.

What concerns me more than your husband's unwillingness to "dump" is the fact that he is staying in the house 24/7. Cocooning is no way to find another job. However, volunteering some of the time he has on his hands could be. And that's what you should insist he do.

DEAR ABBY: I have cancer and my family and friends are hosting a fund-raiser with dinner and a silent auction. My question is, what do I do with the things that are not purchased? Should I return them to the donors or what? Thank you. -- J.C. IN ILLINOIS

DEAR J.C.: Offer to return the items to the donors, and if they refuse, donate them to the American Cancer Society at one of its thrift stores.

DEAR ABBY: Please tell "Privacy Please in Santa Clara, Calif." (March 16), that she does not have to pump her breast milk in the bathroom! Depending on the laws in her state, she may be entitled to request that her employer create a dedicated pumping location for new moms.

Pumping in the restroom could endanger her baby's health. That new mom needs a clean, private space to pump and should ask her boss for help in establishing a special room.

Kudos to "Privacy Please" for doing the very best thing for her baby. Hopefully her employer will realize what a valuable, dedicated individual she is and accommodate her needs so she can continue her high-quality work performance while also taking care of her little one. -- NURSING MOM IN TEXAS

DEAR NURSING MOM: Thank you for raising the issue about the laws pertaining to new nursing moms. Several states have expanded their breast-feeding laws to include provisions that protect a mother's right to express milk in the workplace. California requires employers to provide break time for employees to do this and to make reasonable efforts to provide a location other than a toilet stall, with a penalty for non-compliance. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I, too, was the first new mom in my office who faced the challenges of pumping in order to continue providing my baby with breast milk. It makes me cringe to think that "Privacy" has to resort to using an unsanitary bathroom stall for this task.

There is legislation in her state that requires her employer to supply her with a room other than a toilet stall for privacy. The La Leche League Web site at � HYPERLINK "http://www.lalecheleague.org" ��www.lalecheleague.org� is an excellent resource for breast-feeding moms and provides links to this legislation as well as laws in other states. -- ALICIA IN DULUTH, MINN.

DEAR ABBY: The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services' Health Resources and Services Administration (HRSA) has put together a tool kit to help employers understand and take the necessary steps to support breast-feeding employees. Recent studies show that there are many advantages, including lower absenteeism rates and improved productivity. An information booklet titled, "Easy Steps to Supporting Breastfeeding Employees" can be accessed online at � HYPERLINK "http://www.ask.hrsa.gov" ��www.ask.hrsa.gov�. -- HELEN IN CHICAGO

DEAR ABBY: My employer suggested that I pump in the women's restroom. I replied that I would be happy to do that if the CEO would like to prepare his lunch there as well. It's ridiculous for a nursing mom to go through the process of sterilizing every part of the pumping apparatus and then have to finish the process in a public bathroom. I hope her company will change its policy because it has been proven that breast-fed babies are healthier -- and as a result, parents are less likely to miss work to stay home caring for sick children. -- CONTENT MOM IN VIRGINIA

DEAR ABBY: I am proud that I am still able to provide my baby with breast milk after nine months while working full-time. I posted a sign on my office door that reads: "Food prep! Door will be unlocked at (insert time)." It gives my co-workers a chuckle. -- STILL NURSING IN NASHUA, N.H.

DEAR ABBY: My wife hangs a sign in her office that reads: "I make milk. What's your superpower?" -- MARRIED TO A SUPERMOM

DEAR ABBY: My live-in boyfriend, "Travis," and I are having a disagreement. When I get home around 5 p.m. I lock the door behind me, especially when I'm home alone. Travis gets home between 4:40 and 8 p.m.

If I arrive first, he gets upset that he must unlock the door because he often takes his laptop and other things to and from work. I told him I don't feel comfortable leaving my door unlocked when I'm here by myself. I try to get to the door to let him in if I hear him outside, but I'm usually too slow.

Travis believes I am just insecure and think the worst of the world around me. He says I am choosing my irrational feelings over upsetting him. I told him if the alternative was for me to be robbed, raped or murdered, then I would hope his having to use his key every day would be worth it. I know it's unlikely that anything will happen to me, but it only takes one time.

Abby, am I paranoid or can you help me convince Travis of the importance of locking the door, especially when I am home alone? -- SAFETY CONSCIOUS IN SAN JOSE, CALIF.

DEAR SAFETY CONSCIOUS: I wish I could count the times I have turned on the evening news and heard someone say after yet another bloody tragedy: "But we live in a safe neighborhood. These kinds of things never happen here!" And how many times have we all heard the police issue a warning to the community to keep your doors and windows locked?

Of course you're not paranoid. You are acting responsibly. Unfortunately, your boyfriend is so self-centered he would rather jeopardize your safety than have his key ready when he gets out of his car. Bottom line: Either he adjusts his attitude or you should seriously consider upgrading the quality of the men in your life.

DEAR ABBY: Five years ago, while still in high school, I had a quick "fling" with a boy I had known since elementary school. It wasn't serious, and we didn't have sex. We mutually agreed that it was simply fun. We haven't seen or talked to each other since.

I have no regrets about it. I was 17, had just been dumped for my baby sister and was having self-esteem issues. He made me feel beautiful and desirable.

A year later I started dating my fiance. We have been together ever since. I love him dearly. We have a solid relationship, and we're very happy.

The problem is I sometimes still think about my fling from high school. I wonder what would have happened if we had dated, or if he still thinks about me. Is this normal for a woman who is getting ready to be married to the only man she has had sex with, and the only person she has dated for more than a few weeks? Or does it say more about my relationship with my fiance than I think it does? -- CONFUSED IN OHIO

DEAR CONFUSED: I'm glad you wrote. What you are feeling may be less about your high school "fling" than concern because you have limited experience in the dating world -- a boy who dumped you, a high school crush and five years with the person you met next. Obviously, you are having some doubts. It is important to examine them.

If you and your fiance have not had premarital counseling, it is in both your interests to schedule some. You're still young, and if you were ready for marriage you would be going full steam ahead -- not looking in the rearview mirror.