DEAR ABBY: I'm in my mid-60s and still work full-time. I love my work, not only because it pays well, but also for the good times I have with co-workers and the intellectual stimulation I get from solving problems. I also feel younger than my age. That may be because I have a purpose in life -- to get up early every morning, take my shower, put on my makeup and hurry to the office. At the end of the day, I feel fulfilled because I know I have done something worthwhile.

My problem is the tactless people who ask me when I'm going to retire. Sometimes I tell them that they will be the first to know if I decide to do so. Someone even told me that I should retire now "so I can begin to enjoy my life"! I told her I don't have to retire to enjoy my life because I enjoy my life every day.

I don't know what their motives are in asking. At times I become so annoyed that I just look at the person and give a sweet smile -- just to shut him/her up. I don't want to be rude, but now and then I feel like telling them that it's none of their business. Abby, what is the best response to give these busybodies? -- IRRITATED OUT WEST

DEAR IRRITATED: Give the person your standard "sweet smile" and say: "To me, retirement is a dirty word. Please don't use it in front of me again."

DEAR ABBY: My daughter-in-law has been trying to get my son out of his tighty-whiteys for a few years now. He has gained a few pounds and they are just a little too tight. He isn't overweight, but men's underwear makers don't make in-between sizes. She has bought him a larger size, but he refuses to wear them.

Do you have any ideas on how to get him out of -- so to speak -- his tighty-whiteys and into something more flattering? By the way, I am not a meddling mother-in-law, but my daughter-in-law was too embarrassed to write. -- NOT A MEDDLER

DEAR NOT A MEDDLER: One way to accomplish it might be for your daughter-in-law to occasionally mention how "hot" your son would look in something else. If that doesn't work, she should just continue to feed him the way she has been -- and when the tighty-whiteys cut off his circulation, he may decide to get out of them himself.

DEAR ABBY: I had what I thought was a good friend, "Meg." We were part of a larger group that was very close. When my husband left me, Meg disappeared from my life.

I carried on with career, family and friends, and I am now remarried. My new husband is charming, affluent and well-known in our community. Now Meg has suddenly reappeared and behaves like her absence over the last four years never happened. I am sure she wants to be a part of our inner circle because of my husband's success.

When I encounter her socially, I am always cordial. I have politely declined her overtures and invitations, but she doesn't seem to get the hint. What can I say to nip this in the bud? I don't want to be rude, nor do I want to keep making excuses. -- TIRED OF HYPOCRISY

DEAR TIRED OF HYPOCRISY: What's wrong with telling your fair-weather friend the truth? You don't have to be mean about it. Just say that when she disappeared from your life, you went on with yours, you understand that life can take people down different paths, and you wish her well on hers.

DEAR ABBY: Please tell "Thrifty Shopper in New Jersey" (Feb. 28) she can send coupons left over from her coupon swap to an overseas military base. Several organizations on base, including the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society (� HYPERLINK "http://www.nmcrs.org" ��www.nmcrs.org�) and the Fleet and Family Support Centers, collect and distribute coupons. Because of the costs of living overseas, coupons can be vital to military families. Thank you, Abby, for your support of us throughout the years. -- NAVY WIFE IN JAPAN

DEAR NAVY WIFE: No, thank you for the valuable information. Readers, the Defense Commissary Agency (DeCA) recommends that people not send coupons that are more than three months beyond their expiration date. Manufacturers require commissaries to return coupons within six months of expiration. Coupons older than six months by the time they make it to the manufacturer will not be honored. Therefore, the value of the coupon comes out of the commissary budget. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: There's a wonderful Web site called the Overseas Coupon Program. On this site, people can adopt a military base in the branch of service and location of their choice. It's a very easy way to help military personnel and their families. For details, go to ocpnet.org. -- LINDA L., WINNSBORO, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Suggest that nice lady offer the coupons on FreeCycle.org. It is a listing board for unwanted or unneeded items. Its purpose is to keep things out of landfills. Listing is free, and all the items must be free. She can join the group in her area and maybe it will start a trend of coupon sharing. In these times of money woes, we can all benefit by saving some money at the grocery store.

Thanks for all the years of enjoyment, Abby. I am glad my first time writing to you isn't because I have a problem, but to help someone. God bless! -- L.B. IN NANUET, N.Y.

DEAR ABBY: "Thrifty" should visit � HYPERLINK "http://www.afullcup.com" ��www.afullcup.com�. It's a large group of online coupon swappers that lists hundreds of online coupons as well as runs swaps via "snail" mail. They also offer information for people who want to learn how to use coupons to their fullest potential. That way, "Thrifty Shopper" can expand her swap and also find herself some great deals. -- JODY S., PENGILLY, MINN.

DEAR ABBY: Since military families overseas don't have much access to coupons like we do here and because prices are so high overseas, coupons are very much appreciated.

Many military groups such as the Marine Corps League, American Legion and VFW, and service organizations such as Kiwanis, Rotary and not to mention church groups, senior centers, etc. around the country have coupon projects in which they collect coupons from within the community and send them to military bases overseas.

"Thrifty Shopper" should inquire within her local community to see if there is a group involved in such a program. I am the coordinator for our local Marine Corps League coupon project. We have a Web site that gives more information, including how anyone can start a project in their own community. Visit � HYPERLINK "http://www.couponproject.zoomshare.com" ��www.couponproject.zoomshare.com� for more information. -- L. PARKINSON, NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR ABBY: After my wife had our sixth child, our love life fizzled out. But at age 80, we have suddenly discovered that we aren't THAT old!

How do we tactfully deflect kids and grandkids who enter without ringing the bell? I realize that lots of people would love to have this problem, but it's a problem all the same. -- BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN

DEAR BACK IN THE SADDLE: Your letter made me smile. I'm pleased to hear there's still plenty of "hi-ho" in the old Silver.

If you haven't told your children and grandchildren that you would prefer they not enter your home without ringing the bell, my first suggestion is to speak up now. If you have, and your request is being ignored, then I have two more suggestions.

The first is to put a chain or double lock on the doors to your house; the second is to hang a "Please Do Not Disturb, the Old Folks Are Napping" sign on your doors when you're feeling amorous. I'll bet you $20 that because of entrenched misconceptions about sexuality in the over-70 generation, none of your children or grandchildren will question it.

DEAR ABBY: Boy, do I need your opinion. My wife's youngest daughter has moved in with us, along with her three children: ages 3, 4 and 5. We are having a disagreement about allowing the kids up on the countertops.

My wife and her daughter think it's fine for them to pull a chair over and hop up on the counter. I have seen them on both sides of a stove full of pots filled with hot food. Because this has been allowed, the kids constantly crawl up to the cabinets to help themselves to treats and other things.

I have told them both countless times that this is the worst habit I have ever seen taught to children. I feel it's extremely dangerous and a bad idea. Please help me win this battle, or if you think it's fine, shut me up for good. -- GRANDPA DENNIS

DEAR GRANDPA DENNIS: I'm on your side. Allowing a child to climb up on a counter is inviting an accident -- and to allow a child to do so when the counter is adjacent to a hot stove is child endangerment.

Your wife and her daughter are being far too permissive. Children that young should ask for treats, not be allowed to forage. Rules have to be set and enforced. What is to stop those children from dragging a chair up to a bathroom medicine cabinet and helping themselves to the pills?

DEAR ABBY: I am a single, independent, educated 26-year-old female. I recently bought my first house and enjoy living alone. My problem is, whenever I run into someone I haven't seen in a while and they learn where I am living, often the first thing he or she asks is, "Oh, you got married?"

I find it offensive that people automatically assume that because I bought a house I am married. How do I deal with a question like that and not hurt feelings in the process? -- CONTENT IN VIRGINIA

DEAR CONTENT: You deal with it by not becoming defensive. Keep your sense of humor. The next time you are asked if you got married, smile at the person and say, "Did you get an invitation to the wedding?" When the person tells you no, end the discussion by saying, "Well, then, I guess I'm not married!"