DEAR ABBY: Please tell "Thrifty Shopper in New Jersey" (Feb. 28) she can send coupons left over from her coupon swap to an overseas military base. Several organizations on base, including the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society (� HYPERLINK "http://www.nmcrs.org" ��www.nmcrs.org�) and the Fleet and Family Support Centers, collect and distribute coupons. Because of the costs of living overseas, coupons can be vital to military families. Thank you, Abby, for your support of us throughout the years. -- NAVY WIFE IN JAPAN

DEAR NAVY WIFE: No, thank you for the valuable information. Readers, the Defense Commissary Agency (DeCA) recommends that people not send coupons that are more than three months beyond their expiration date. Manufacturers require commissaries to return coupons within six months of expiration. Coupons older than six months by the time they make it to the manufacturer will not be honored. Therefore, the value of the coupon comes out of the commissary budget. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: There's a wonderful Web site called the Overseas Coupon Program. On this site, people can adopt a military base in the branch of service and location of their choice. It's a very easy way to help military personnel and their families. For details, go to ocpnet.org. -- LINDA L., WINNSBORO, TEXAS

DEAR ABBY: Suggest that nice lady offer the coupons on FreeCycle.org. It is a listing board for unwanted or unneeded items. Its purpose is to keep things out of landfills. Listing is free, and all the items must be free. She can join the group in her area and maybe it will start a trend of coupon sharing. In these times of money woes, we can all benefit by saving some money at the grocery store.

Thanks for all the years of enjoyment, Abby. I am glad my first time writing to you isn't because I have a problem, but to help someone. God bless! -- L.B. IN NANUET, N.Y.

DEAR ABBY: "Thrifty" should visit � HYPERLINK "http://www.afullcup.com" ��www.afullcup.com�. It's a large group of online coupon swappers that lists hundreds of online coupons as well as runs swaps via "snail" mail. They also offer information for people who want to learn how to use coupons to their fullest potential. That way, "Thrifty Shopper" can expand her swap and also find herself some great deals. -- JODY S., PENGILLY, MINN.

DEAR ABBY: Since military families overseas don't have much access to coupons like we do here and because prices are so high overseas, coupons are very much appreciated.

Many military groups such as the Marine Corps League, American Legion and VFW, and service organizations such as Kiwanis, Rotary and not to mention church groups, senior centers, etc. around the country have coupon projects in which they collect coupons from within the community and send them to military bases overseas.

"Thrifty Shopper" should inquire within her local community to see if there is a group involved in such a program. I am the coordinator for our local Marine Corps League coupon project. We have a Web site that gives more information, including how anyone can start a project in their own community. Visit � HYPERLINK "http://www.couponproject.zoomshare.com" ��www.couponproject.zoomshare.com� for more information. -- L. PARKINSON, NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR ABBY: After my wife had our sixth child, our love life fizzled out. But at age 80, we have suddenly discovered that we aren't THAT old!

How do we tactfully deflect kids and grandkids who enter without ringing the bell? I realize that lots of people would love to have this problem, but it's a problem all the same. -- BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN

DEAR BACK IN THE SADDLE: Your letter made me smile. I'm pleased to hear there's still plenty of "hi-ho" in the old Silver.

If you haven't told your children and grandchildren that you would prefer they not enter your home without ringing the bell, my first suggestion is to speak up now. If you have, and your request is being ignored, then I have two more suggestions.

The first is to put a chain or double lock on the doors to your house; the second is to hang a "Please Do Not Disturb, the Old Folks Are Napping" sign on your doors when you're feeling amorous. I'll bet you $20 that because of entrenched misconceptions about sexuality in the over-70 generation, none of your children or grandchildren will question it.

DEAR ABBY: Boy, do I need your opinion. My wife's youngest daughter has moved in with us, along with her three children: ages 3, 4 and 5. We are having a disagreement about allowing the kids up on the countertops.

My wife and her daughter think it's fine for them to pull a chair over and hop up on the counter. I have seen them on both sides of a stove full of pots filled with hot food. Because this has been allowed, the kids constantly crawl up to the cabinets to help themselves to treats and other things.

I have told them both countless times that this is the worst habit I have ever seen taught to children. I feel it's extremely dangerous and a bad idea. Please help me win this battle, or if you think it's fine, shut me up for good. -- GRANDPA DENNIS

DEAR GRANDPA DENNIS: I'm on your side. Allowing a child to climb up on a counter is inviting an accident -- and to allow a child to do so when the counter is adjacent to a hot stove is child endangerment.

Your wife and her daughter are being far too permissive. Children that young should ask for treats, not be allowed to forage. Rules have to be set and enforced. What is to stop those children from dragging a chair up to a bathroom medicine cabinet and helping themselves to the pills?

DEAR ABBY: I am a single, independent, educated 26-year-old female. I recently bought my first house and enjoy living alone. My problem is, whenever I run into someone I haven't seen in a while and they learn where I am living, often the first thing he or she asks is, "Oh, you got married?"

I find it offensive that people automatically assume that because I bought a house I am married. How do I deal with a question like that and not hurt feelings in the process? -- CONTENT IN VIRGINIA

DEAR CONTENT: You deal with it by not becoming defensive. Keep your sense of humor. The next time you are asked if you got married, smile at the person and say, "Did you get an invitation to the wedding?" When the person tells you no, end the discussion by saying, "Well, then, I guess I'm not married!"

DEAR ABBY: I am 45 and currently going through a divorce. My soon-to-be ex-wife and I have a 14-year-old daughter, "Gina," and I have custody.

Fourteen years ago, when my wife became pregnant with Gina, we had talked about abortion. We even had an appointment scheduled, but on the day of the appointment we decided not to go through with it. I thank God that we did have our child.

Gina knows nothing about any of this, but my future ex has threatened to tell her. My daughter is mature for her age and intelligent, but I feel the time is not right for her to know. Given the situation, I feel she should hear it from me because of the close relationship we have.

Do you agree that the news should wait until the divorce is final and the dust settles, or should I tell her now? -- DADDY WHO CARES

DEAR DADDY: I see no reason your daughter should ever be told that she wasn't planned for and wanted. I cannot think of one single positive thing that being given such news -- by either you or your soon-to-be ex -- would accomplish.

Your wife may be so filled with anger that she is not in her right mind right now. And if she does pour that poison in your daughter's ear, the antidote is to tell Gina that you thank God for her every day and cannot imagine life without her.

DEAR ABBY: I am in a bit of a muddle. I have had a platonic friendship with "Greg" for four years. He is married, and I have a longtime boyfriend, "Randall."

About a year ago, Greg and I crossed the line into a romantic relationship. I guess you could call it an affair. Greg was unhappy with his marriage, and I was unsettled in my relationship. The affair ended six months ago, along with Greg and my friendship.

I felt so bad about the whole thing that I confessed and apologized to Randall, who (surprisingly) is still with me. He says he loves me. I realized that Randall is very dear to me, and I have no intention of ever repeating this kind of episode again.

As for Greg, I accept that our romantic relationship is over. But I feel sad that our friendship is over, too. He never told me I can't approach him or speak to him again. I don't know how to get our friendship back, if I even can. Can you provide any suggestions? -- MUDDLED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR MUDDLED: You are taking a lot for granted. First you are assuming that Greg wants to renew the friendship. You are also assuming that his wife would ever want you in the picture again, and last, you're assuming that Randall would not feel threatened.

Because you have asked for suggestions, I'm happy to offer one: Move on.

DEAR ABBY: Some people find "pennies from heaven" -- I find dimes. My late husband once asked me whose image is on the dime, not remembering he had told me it was Franklin Delano Roosevelt (FDR). My husband's initials were also FDR. Knowing my darling watches over us always, I have saved every one I see and now have a box full of them. -- ELAINE IN MARYLAND

DEAR ELAINE: Here's my 10 cents worth: If the coins bring you comfort, then the next time you spot one let it serve as a warm reminder that all that glitters is not gold -- or even money. Sometimes it's a message from above.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)