DEAR ABBY: "Charlotte" and I dated happily for six years before we married. Now, after only a few months, she finds almost everything about me wrong. For example, I offered to trim her toenails, not because I thought they looked bad but because I thought she might appreciate it. She became upset with me and accused me of criticizing her appearance.
This kind of thing happens every week. I feel uneasy about saying anything to her. All I'm trying to do is show her how much I love her and that I'm there for her. Charlotte is beautiful. She's 51 but looks 40. I'm 61 and look 61. Have you any advice for me? We have both been married twice before. -- TRYING TO BE THE PERFECT HUSBAND IN TENNESSEE
DEAR TRYING: What a sad situation. Not knowing Charlotte, I can't comment on her quirks. Has she always been sensitive about her appearance or is this something new? Has your behavior changed since the wedding? In other words, could you be trying so hard to please her that it is off-putting?
Please consider this, and if her fault-finding continues, see if she will agree to marriage counseling. Whatever is happening between you, without some mediation, neither of you will be happier in this marriage than you were in the two that preceded it.