DEAR ABBY: I am in my mid-20s and in a long-term relationship. I can see myself getting married and having children in the next few years. So what do you do when your partner does not share your lifetime goals?

He has told me marriage is on the horizon "someday, maybe," but he has no desire for children. I love him dearly and won't put pressure on him, but have made my intentions clear.

How should I handle his wish to remain childless and unmarried when it is a lifetime dream of mine? -- DREAMING IN WISCONSIN

DEAR DREAMING: Marriage may be on your boyfriend's horizon "someday, maybe," but so is interplanetary tourism to Mars. When you realize that your partner does not share your lifetime goals, what you should do is end the relationship on the highest note possible and move on.

DEAR ABBY: We have a relative, "Jerry," whom we dearly love. However, he has the disgusting habit of flossing his teeth in every room except the bathroom. After we eat, Jerry gets up and proceeds to floss his teeth in the kitchen, the living room or wherever he likes. He has even stood behind others and done it right over their shoulders. It's disgusting!

Several of us have asked him, politely, to floss in the bathroom or somewhere private, but it made him extremely defensive and angry. I'm sure there are others out there who do it. We just want Jerry and others to know that it is not appropriate and is considered rude. -- SICK TO MY STOMACH IN KENNEWICK, WASH.

DEAR SICK TO YOUR STOMACH: Not only is your relative's behavior inappropriate and rude, it is also gross. The reason people floss their teeth in a bathroom, preferably over a sink, becomes evident to anyone who has ever cleaned the bathroom mirror. To floss anywhere else, particularly over someone's shoulder, is unsanitary.

There is a saying, "The best defense is a strong offense." If Jerry wasn't already aware that what he was doing was wrong, he wouldn't have reacted the way he did when you asked him to stop. Shame on him. His behavior is boorish.

DEAR ABBY: High school graduations are just around the corner, and I would like people to give careful consideration to whom they send announcements.

Every year I receive announcements -- including pictures, calling cards, etc. -- from people I barely know and whose children I don't know at all. Because we say hello in the break room or pass each other in the neighborhood does not mean you need to send me an announcement. I don't know your child, and I don't send gifts to grads I don't know.

So save yourself time and money and leave folks you barely know off the list. Believe me, if someone wants to acknowledge your child's graduation, he or she will do so without being asked. -- NOT INTERESTED IN KENTUCKY

DEAR NOT INTERESTED: Because you receive an announcement in the mail does not mean you are required to send the graduate a gift. Sometimes families send them out because they are proud and want to share the news of their child's achievement with people they consider to be friends and/or their co-workers.

When you receive a graduation announcement, you have two choices: Ignore it or acknowledge it. I vote for acknowledging it -- with a congratulatory phone call or a nice card.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 12-year-old girl and have a 10-year-old brother with autism. At school there are many kids who have special needs, and I try my best to befriend them.

A large number of students are unbelievably cruel to these people. They call them names and make fun of them right to their faces. Sometimes they don't do it in front of the person, but I also think it is very rude to talk about people behind their backs.

When I see or hear it happen, I would like to be able to say something to help them understand that what they are doing is not acceptable. What should I do when I am caught in these situations? -- TRYING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN OHIO

DEAR TRYING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE: People who ridicule others because they are physically or developmentally disabled sometimes do it for attention because it makes them feel superior or because they don't realize the damage they are doing.

One way to correct the perpetrators would be to speak up and say you don't think what they are doing is funny because you have a brother who struggles every day with the challenges of autism. You should also talk to a counselor or the principal of your school, describe what has been happening and suggest that the student body could benefit from sensitivity training regarding discrimination, which is offered at many schools.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law was unhappy in her relationship, so my husband and I offered to let her stay with us. We moved her and all her stuff into our home. We even kicked our 3-year-old out of his room so she could have privacy.

She stayed with us for two nights, then went to her mother's. She was gone a week, then came back and spent one night. Then she returned to her mom's for two weeks. Most of her things are still here, but she hasn't said she's living with her mother permanently.

Do I still have a houseguest? I'd like to give my son his room back, but I don't want to be rude to my possible guest. -- POSSIBLE HOSTESS

DEAR POSSIBLE HOSTESS: Your little boy needs his room back! Unless you are ready to establish some boundaries, your sister-in-law could bounce back and forth indefinitely. It's time for you and your husband to talk to his sister and his mother and determine where his sister plans to nest, because it is unfair to use your son's bedroom as a storage locker.

DEAR ABBY: Several months ago, my husband -- whose eyesight is fading rapidly -- was forced to depend on a cane indicating that he is blind. Since then, we have encountered many individuals who have no idea what a red-tipped white cane means.

We have heard people say things like, "Isn't that fancy!" or, "I love the way you decorated your cane for the Christmas season."

Abby, please inform your readers that a white cane with a red tip is not a fashion accessory or a personal whim. Its purpose is to allow a vision-impaired person to move around independently. Vision impairment also affects a person's balance. People have brushed past my husband, bumped into him and expressed annoyance because his slowness held them up.

I'm sure a "word to the wise" from you would make a decided difference. -- NANCY IN LACONIA, N.H.

DEAR NANCY: I'm pleased to help you spread the word, and you have described the situation very well. Allow me to add this: It's rude -- and can be dangerous -- to touch a stranger without permission. Not only could it cause the person to react in a hostile fashion, if he or she is blind, it could cause a nasty fall.

DEAR ABBY: I was the only person working out in the gym at my apartment complex the other evening when a man, presumably another resident, came to the front door. To enter, you must swipe your access card on the keypad.

He apparently did not have his access card with him and sat outside the door waiting for me to let him in. Because I was working on a cardio machine and trying to maintain my heart rate, I didn't want to interrupt my workout to open the door. He eventually tired of waiting and left.

Should I have stopped and let the person in the door? Or should he have gone back to get his access card? -- CARDIO CARRIE IN GEORGIA

DEAR CARRIE: While it would have been nice of you to let the man in, it could also have been dangerous because you were alone and the person was a stranger. The security door was put there for a reason, and I find it interesting that the man did not go after his entry card and return. The fact that he didn't suggests that he may not have been a resident as you assumed, and you may have dodged a bullet.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dating/engaged to a wonderful man for almost a year. He was recently deployed for a 14-month tour of duty in Iraq with the Marine Corps.

We planned to be married in August while he is home on R&R, but a few days ago he asked that we postpone the wedding until next February when he is stateside for good.

He was gung-ho about our nuptials until a few days ago, when he requested that we wait. I'm confused because all he talked about was getting married and now it's a sore subject. -- MARINE'S GIRL

DEAR MARINE'S GIRL: Having never met or spoken to your fiance, I can't explain what is going on in his head. However, active duty in a war zone is extremely stressful, and his change of attitude may be related to that.

It takes a strong woman to be married to a man in the military, so be patient, stay positive and let him know that you'll be there when he comes home. Do not pressure him for answers right now. Continue to be as supportive as you can. When he returns in August, you two can have a heart-to-heart talk about why he wanted to slow things down.

DEAR ABBY: We recently celebrated my stepdaughter's 40th birthday. After dinner I placed the birthday cake, along with the knife, cake server, plates and forks, in front of her. We sang "Happy Birthday," and she blew out the candles.

Shortly afterward, I realized she was not cutting and serving the cake, so I asked if she wanted her father or me to do it.

I was raised with the idea that the person whose birthday it is should serve the cake to those celebrating with her (or him). Now I have begun to wonder, what is the proper custom regarding who should cut and serve the birthday cake? -- CURIOUS IN SAN FRANCISCO

DEAR CURIOUS: I'm not sure there is a rule of etiquette regarding who should serve the birthday cake. It's really up to the individuals involved, and the custom can vary from family to family. In your case, when you saw that your stepdaughter wasn't cutting the birthday cake, you did the right thing in asking her if she would like you to. That's what I would have done.