DEAR ABBY: I am an 11-year-old with a serious problem. I don't trust my parents. I doubt I ever will. I just can't tell them things. I end up praying to my dead grandpa -- that's OK, but he doesn't give me any answers.

I trust my sister more than I could ever trust Mom or Dad. It feels wrong sometimes. I don't like to be around people. I have no way of knowing whether I can trust them. There is part of my life that only my sister knows about.

I feel bad about not trusting my parents. Is there any solution to this problem? Should I talk to them about it? -- NO TRUST IN PLANO, TEXAS

DEAR NO TRUST: I am concerned for you, and I hope you will take what I say seriously. Your parents brought you into this world and are there to protect you. Confiding in your sister is a good thing, but if you are in trouble -- and I suspect you may be -- she may not be experienced enough to give you the guidance you need.

If you want things to get better, it is very important that you tell your parents or some other adult who is close to you -- a relative or school counselor -- what has caused you to lose trust in people. That in itself will be a giant first step in solving your problem because you need more help than you can get in a letter.

DEAR ABBY: I was recently given a gift that I have reason to believe was made from stolen materials, on company premises, using stolen time. The item is of a religious nature, although the business itself is in the field of manufacturing.

The person who gave me the gift is aware that I value integrity and honesty above all things. I wonder if he is trying to challenge my principles.

At any rate, I'm at a loss as to what to do with the gift. I do not feel comfortable keeping it, but for reasons of family harmony cannot return it. Any suggestions? -- ROLE MODEL IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR ROLE MODEL: In a non-confrontational way, ask the person who gave you the gift how it was made or acquired. Then, if you feel you have accepted stolen property, return it to the giver and explain why. By doing so you will demonstrate that you don't give in to temptation when presented with an ethical challenge, and it may be an important lesson to someone who may need to hear it.

DEAR ABBY: My older brother moved from the East Coast to Wyoming 20 years ago, which put him in a different time zone -- two hours behind me. He died in June of last year.

I am planning to get a tattoo memorializing the date and time of my brother's passing, but have reached a dilemma. My brother died June 12 at 11 p.m. in Wyoming, but it was 1 a.m. June 13 here in Connecticut.

Which date should I use? I have asked friends who say I should go with what feels right to me, but others have told me to use the date on his death certificate. Which is correct? -- DAY LATE AND TWO HOURS SHORT

DEAR DAY LATE: The date on your brother's death certificate. However, tattoos are very personal, and if you choose to use the time and date in Connecticut of his passing, no one should criticize you for it.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 30-year-old, attractive, recently divorced attorney and single mother. My problem is I become extremely threatened when I'm romantically rejected, and I need to know how to gain a healthier approach to rejection.

I have dated occasionally, but nothing has developed into anything serious because I have yet to find someone with whom I feel completely compatible. However, when I start dating someone and he doesn't feel the same, it negatively affects my self-esteem. I feel and act depressed, and then I begin feeling insecure, anxious and irrational.

I recently drove someone away because when he didn't call me one night, I went wild with anger and anxiety. I realize this heightened response is not normal. It is also quite painful. Frankly, the intensity of my feelings frightened me, and I'm at a loss about how to handle it.

How can I get over feeling so insecure in relationships so rejection won't damage and disrupt my sense of self? -- DISCOMBOBULATED IN BROOKLYN

DEAR DISCOMBOBULATED: May I remind you that the process of dating is like sifting for gold for everyone involved. It can take a lot of effort and sifting before you finally strike the mother lode. When it comes to dating, I know of few things that are more of a turn-off than a woman -- or a man -- who has the word "needy" stamped on her (or his) forehead.

If you felt good about yourself, you would not be so dependent upon these men for validation. Your intense, angry and anxious reactions when a man doesn't call may be related to your divorce -- or they may stem from earlier insecurities you brought into your marriage. Unless you develop confidence about your self-worth, your relationships with men won't change.

Please give this some thought -- and if you agree that I'm on the right track, consider consulting a psychologist who can help you develop some tools for emotional independence. Once you have achieved it, your odds of meeting "Mr. Right" will be much better.

DEAR ABBY: What is the proper way to defer right-of-way to an ambulance or other emergency vehicle? I drive on a two-lane highway to and from work every day, and have had a couple of close calls recently with drivers in front of me slamming on their brakes and stopping in the roadway while waiting for an emergency vehicle to go by.

I was always taught that if an emergency vehicle is behind you, to pull as far to the right side of the road as possible and allow the vehicle to pass on your left. But what do you do when it's going in the other direction? Surely stopping in the road is not the answer. Please set me and my fellow commuters straight. In the meantime, I'll be ... SLAMMING ON THE BRAKES IN ALABAMA

DEAR SLAMMING: I, too, was taught that when an emergency vehicle with a flashing light and a siren approaches from either direction that all drivers should move as far to the right as possible. This will allow the emergency vehicle access to the middle of the road, if necessary. Simply slamming on one's brakes is not enough. It can cause gridlock and bring the emergency vehicle to a stop, resulting in loss of property or even someone's life.

DEAR ABBY: When my husband, "Wyatt," and I first started dating, we both had jobs. Because I am a teacher, my workday ended about two hours before his, allowing me some much-needed time alone before he came home.

Just before our wedding three months ago, Wyatt was laid off, and he has not been able to find another job. Although he is in school part-time, he is always in the house when I return from work.

Abby, I have no time for myself! All day I work with my students, and all evening I am with Wyatt. I have tried to explain to him that I need a little time to unwind when I first get home, but he always finds some reason to stick his head in and chat while I'm reading or taking a bath. I desperately need some alone time. I love my husband dearly, but how can I tell him I need an hour away from him? -- PRIVACY PLEASE IN N.C.

DEAR P.P.: You are not the only spouse -- of either sex -- who needs some alone time to quietly transition from workday to home life. Explain this again to your husband, and do it just the way you have explained it to me. Unless you speak up, one of these days he will interrupt you, and you will erupt -- which isn't fair to him.

If he STILL doesn't get the message, start jogging after work -- for about an hour.

DEAR ABBY: I am co-hosting a baby shower for a friend. I do not know the other hostess well. She is insisting on serving alcohol at the shower because many of the mommy-to-be's friends like to drink, and she says "it will provide some 'class' to the shower." I disagree.

I'm not a prude, and I do drink occasionally, but I think it is inappropriate to serve alcohol at a baby shower -- especially when the guest of honor can't partake. Am I justified in stating my disapproval? And would it be OK for me to decline to contribute financially toward that shower expense? -- NOT A PRUDE IN COLUMBUS, OHIO

DEAR NOT A PRUDE: Nowhere have I seen it written that in order for a baby shower to be "classy," alcohol must be served. You are certainly within your rights to air your feelings on this subject. The point you are making is a valid one. And if your co-hostess wants to go ahead and serve alcohol at the shower, you are under no obligation to help her foot the bill.

DEAR ABBY: I was able to retire while I was in my mid-50s, after teaching for 33 years. Since then, I have been traveling as often as possible and volunteering on a regular basis.

Sometimes in these situations I find myself with a group of people older than I am. When I am asked my age, which I don't mind, the response I get is, "Oh, you're just a pup!" Because I am chronologically younger than most of the group shouldn't automatically discount or invalidate me.

How can I respond to these comments nicely, yet make the point that I also have something to offer regardless of my age? -- AGELESS PUP IN ARVADA, COLO.

DEAR AGELESS PUP: First of all, stop being so defensive. When someone calls you a "young pup," just laugh and say, "If you think I'm a young pup, you're barking up the wrong tree!"