DEAR READERS: Among the questions I am frequently asked is, "Do you ever get letters that have been made up, and can you tell when someone has indulged in 'creative writing'?" The answer is yes, and today, in honor of April Fools' Day, I'll share a few. Read on:
DEAR ABBY: My beloved mother used to sleep in the nude, rest her soul. Well, one night we were woken up by relatives at our front door. Needless to say, it gave her a massive heart attack. She thought it was OK to be nude at 81, but after getting caught that way, it was too much for her to handle, and she croaked!
I, however, still sleep in the nude and practice witchcraft in my birthday suit, too. While I was out in the woods one night, I ran smack dab into a deer. He stared me down as if he was looking at headlights. I was so embarrassed getting caught that I quickly climbed a tree.
Luckily, I had my cell phone with me, so I dialed 911, and the entire police department came to my rescue. To top it off, my picture was on the front page of the newspaper with a nice story line to go with it. Talk about embarrassing ... I'll probably never go nude again. -- NAKED WITCH IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
DEAR NAKED WITCH: What did the headline read -- "Deer Trees Em-bare-assed Witch"? Please write back and let me know. And when you do, be sure to mention where you were carrying that cell phone and whether you have recovered from the trauma.