DEAR ABBY: I would like to offer a suggestion to "Tired Mom in the City" (Jan. 17), whose baby's eight grandparents have overloaded the family with unneeded and redundant gifts. That mother should harness the generosity of those loving grandparents.

"Tired Mom" and her husband should set up a 529 college savings plan for their baby girl if they haven't already done so. It's a wonderful program that helps parents, family members and friends to save toward a child's college education. Those loving and obviously generous grandparents can contribute to the fund.

By contributing to their granddaughter's 529 fund, the grandparents will be giving a lifelong gift rather than an item that will be discarded or outgrown. They will be providing a college education for the child, and the parents will not be burdened by huge loans. -- MOM OF TWO IN ROCHESTER, N.Y.

DEAR MOM OF TWO: Thank you for an excellent suggestion. Readers who are interested in setting up a 529 plan should consult their financial adviser or bank officer. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I had the same problem with four sets of grandparents. We handled the duplication of gifts by having the grandparents keep them in THEIR homes so when it was their turn to baby-sit, or we visited them, they would have all the necessities at hand. "Tired Mom" might consider suggesting something similar. -- L.M. IN GREENWOOD, MO.

DEAR ABBY: My children received many gifts, but what they remember the most is the time they spent with their grandparents. Having a book read to them, visiting the aquarium, being pushed in a stroller for a walk around town and hearing the birds and smelling the flowers -- even the loving greeting one grandmother gave my little girls at the door when they visited -- these, not material things, were the "gifts" that counted the most. -- NO LONGER A TIRED MOM

DEAR ABBY: I set up an education account for each of my nine grandchildren. There is no better gift than a solid education that will enable my grandchildren to provide for themselves when they are grown.

My grandfather gave me stock when I was a child. I didn't appreciate it at the time, but the dividends from that stock paid for summer camp, college tuition and, eventually, a down payment on a house. What better way to establish your grandchildren and help them to achieve a better life? -- NANA OF NINE IN KENTUCKY

DEAR ABBY: My grandparents were generous, too. What they lavished me with was time and attention. At Christmas and on birthdays, I received a small gift. But the really great gift -- which I didn't totally understand when I was young -- was a savings bond in my name. Those bonds added up over the years and helped to fund my college education.

I am 46 now. I remember how much they loved me and how concerned they were about my future. I still have some of the bonds my grandparents gave me tucked away for a rainy day. My husband and I are now continuing the tradition with our granddaughters. -- KELLY IN DECATUR, ILL.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a freshman at a Catholic university. I was awakened last night at 3 a.m. because my bunk bed -- I'm on top -- was shaking. Then I heard my roommate moaning. She had snuck a boy into our dorm room, and they were doing "it."

I am so upset at her disregard for my personal space that I don't know how to talk to her. I'm big on chastity, but I don't want her to think I'm speaking up because I'm a prude. I found it so upsetting that it was difficult to get back to sleep.

My roommate is nice, and we get along well. How do I tell her this behavior is unacceptable? If I tell our resident assistant, she will get in trouble and hate me for it. If I had been forewarned, I would have slept out in the lounge. Please help me. -- RELUCTANT WITNESS IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR RELUCTANT WITNESS: Silence implies approval. It is important that you talk to your roommate NOW because if you don't, it is sure to happen again. All you have to say is that when you were awakened, at first you were frightened. Then, when you realized what was going on, it made you extremely uncomfortable, and in the future you would prefer she make other arrangements for "that kind of thing."

It's the truth, you are within your rights to draw the line and you won't come off looking like a prude. What they did was out of line.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Dirk," and I have been dating nearly three years, and we recently moved in together. Before we met, he briefly dated a woman I'll call "Lola," who has bipolar disorder.

Although she was the one to end the relationship, Lola became jealous when she heard Dirk was dating me and started following us around. Dirk is a musician, and Lola would dance provocatively at his shows, hang on him and hug him, and we would sometimes be kept up all night by her calls and texts.

Dirk has told Lola many times that she's crossing the line. Eventually, she began seeing someone else and stopped tormenting us. But now that she has learned we're living together, her crazy behavior has started up again.

I went to pick Dirk up from his show last night and heard that Lola had told half the people in the club that he had "always loved her," that they were "soul mates," and that she would be going home with him! While I don't doubt the stability of my relationship with Dirk, I find Lola's behavior irritating and blatantly disrespectful.

Dirk tells me any confrontation would be counterproductive, and that the woman would be "overjoyed" to find out she's causing me distress. He thinks she's so unstable she might react violently. I'm fed up. What should we do? -- HAD IT IN MANHATTAN

DEAR HAD IT: You have my sympathy. This is the downside of having a relationship with a charismatic performer. Although Lola's behavior is irritating, I'm casting my vote with your boyfriend. If you show her she is getting to you, her antics will only increase.

It won't take long for the regulars at the club to recognize her for the poor, deluded fan she is. The other club-goers really don't count. However, should Lola's actions escalate to violence, the police should be called and a restraining order taken out.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife has been spending every weekend visiting her fiance, who is in prison. It is a five-hour round trip from where she lives, so she stays the night in a hotel due to the long drive. If she has our 6-year-old daughter, "Emma," on the weekend, the child goes with her. My ex knows I don't want Emma in a prison.

The only way I have to prevent my little girl from having to go is to keep her with me every weekend. My wife is supportive, but she is concerned because we never have a night to ourselves. She says we are enabling my ex's poor choices by taking Emma every time my ex wants to shirk her parental responsibility.

Is my wife right? Are we enabling my ex? Is it more important to keep my daughter away from the prison or take my wife out on a date once a month? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. -- DAD IN GEORGIA

DEAR DAD: This is a subject you should discuss with the lawyer who handled your divorce. I seriously doubt that when custody was awarded the judge would have agreed that accompanying her mother to a prison every weekend to visit her fiance is "quality time."

If you and your wife would like to go out on a date, your daughter's presence shouldn't prevent it. Hire a sitter.

DEAR ABBY: Last night, I went to the movies and took an aisle seat in the back row. Two different couples came in late, and each one asked me to move over so they could sit together. I said, "I got here early, and I like this seat." I did not go on to explain that I have a torn tendon in my knee and needed the seat in order to stretch my leg.

They became upset and were very rude. If the seats were so important, they could have arrived early or on time.

Abby, my husband died in an airplane crash many years ago. I would give anything to have my husband in the same theater, the same city, the same planet! Couldn't those people spend two hours separated by one seat from their spouse? -- MARSHA IN SAUSALITO, CALIF.

DEAR MARSHA: Please accept my sympathy for the tragic loss of your husband. Sometimes it isn't what you say to people, but the tone in which it is said. Perhaps if you had been less terse in your reply to the couples who asked you to move over, they would not have become hostile.

DEAR ABBY: The oldest of the cousins in our family is being married in July. My aunt told me over the holidays that because I am now an adult (I will graduate from college in June), I would be receiving my own invitation rather than be included with my parents.

My invitation arrived today and enclosed with it was a personal note from my cousin encouraging the attendance of my boyfriend, who she says would be welcome as well. I believe that because I received my own invitation and will be bringing a guest, I should arrive with my own gift rather than sign my name to the gift my parents bring. My mother, however, says I am being "silly" and that it's not necessary. What do you think? -- JENNIFER IN SAN LUIS OBISPO, CALIF.

DEAR JENNIFER: I think your cousin is thoughtful and gracious, that you are an equally courteous guest and that you should follow your instincts.