DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife has been spending every weekend visiting her fiance, who is in prison. It is a five-hour round trip from where she lives, so she stays the night in a hotel due to the long drive. If she has our 6-year-old daughter, "Emma," on the weekend, the child goes with her. My ex knows I don't want Emma in a prison.

The only way I have to prevent my little girl from having to go is to keep her with me every weekend. My wife is supportive, but she is concerned because we never have a night to ourselves. She says we are enabling my ex's poor choices by taking Emma every time my ex wants to shirk her parental responsibility.

Is my wife right? Are we enabling my ex? Is it more important to keep my daughter away from the prison or take my wife out on a date once a month? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. -- DAD IN GEORGIA

DEAR DAD: This is a subject you should discuss with the lawyer who handled your divorce. I seriously doubt that when custody was awarded the judge would have agreed that accompanying her mother to a prison every weekend to visit her fiance is "quality time."

If you and your wife would like to go out on a date, your daughter's presence shouldn't prevent it. Hire a sitter.

DEAR ABBY: Last night, I went to the movies and took an aisle seat in the back row. Two different couples came in late, and each one asked me to move over so they could sit together. I said, "I got here early, and I like this seat." I did not go on to explain that I have a torn tendon in my knee and needed the seat in order to stretch my leg.

They became upset and were very rude. If the seats were so important, they could have arrived early or on time.

Abby, my husband died in an airplane crash many years ago. I would give anything to have my husband in the same theater, the same city, the same planet! Couldn't those people spend two hours separated by one seat from their spouse? -- MARSHA IN SAUSALITO, CALIF.

DEAR MARSHA: Please accept my sympathy for the tragic loss of your husband. Sometimes it isn't what you say to people, but the tone in which it is said. Perhaps if you had been less terse in your reply to the couples who asked you to move over, they would not have become hostile.

DEAR ABBY: The oldest of the cousins in our family is being married in July. My aunt told me over the holidays that because I am now an adult (I will graduate from college in June), I would be receiving my own invitation rather than be included with my parents.

My invitation arrived today and enclosed with it was a personal note from my cousin encouraging the attendance of my boyfriend, who she says would be welcome as well. I believe that because I received my own invitation and will be bringing a guest, I should arrive with my own gift rather than sign my name to the gift my parents bring. My mother, however, says I am being "silly" and that it's not necessary. What do you think? -- JENNIFER IN SAN LUIS OBISPO, CALIF.

DEAR JENNIFER: I think your cousin is thoughtful and gracious, that you are an equally courteous guest and that you should follow your instincts.

DEAR ABBY: Some risks are worth taking. Ignoring signs of diabetes isn't one of them. Several years ago, you played a critical role on American Diabetes Alert Day by informing your readers about the importance of type 2 diabetes prevention and detection.

Diabetes is a "silent" killer that slowly takes away people's health, their money, their time and their dreams. It's called a silent killer because people can have it for years and not know it. This disease affects many of your readers -- nearly 24 million children and adults in the U.S. are diabetic, and another 57 million Americans have pre-diabetes. (Their blood glucose levels are higher than normal, but not yet high enough to be diagnosed with the disease.)

Diabetes affects more than just the person who has it -- it also affects the parent who is caring for a diabetic child, the spouse who plays the role of caretaker, and the adult whose parent is struggling with this illness. Unfortunately, the number of people developing diabetes continues to grow at an alarming rate.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009, is the 21st annual American Diabetes Alert Day -- a one-day call to action, encouraging all Americans to find out if they are at risk for developing type 2 diabetes. Fortunately, there is a great deal your readers can do once they know their risk.

With your help, Abby, we can motivate millions to start taking the necessary steps to protect themselves and their families from this life-threatening disease. Thanks for lending a hand. -- R. PAUL ROBERTSON, M.D., PRESIDENT, AMERICAN DIABETES ASSOCIATION

DEAR DR. ROBERTSON: I'm pleased to help because once diagnosed, type 2 diabetes is an illness that can be successfully managed. However, if it is ignored, it can eventually destroy the organs of the body.

Readers, please help yourselves and your families by taking the diabetes risk test at � HYPERLINK "http://www.diabetes.org/alert or by calling 1-800-342-2382" ��www.diabetes.org/alert or by calling (800) 342-238�3 tomorrow. Don't put it off -- I care about you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband "John" and I are in our 60s. We were friends with a couple we loved being with -- sharing many dinners and vacations together. A few years ago they said we could no longer socialize together because they couldn't stand John, and they dumped us. I was hurt and blamed my husband.

They recently showed up at our doorstep and invited us to go out with them. I thought everything was going great, but it seems that everything my husband does is wrong in their eyes. They have dumped us -- again.

This couple certainly wasn't perfect, but my husband and I overlooked a lot because we were friends. John may have his faults, but what they did is wrong. What do you think we should do? -- FAIR WEATHER FRIENDS IN NEW YORK

DEAR F.W.F.: Allow me to be direct. I think it's time you and John crossed this couple off your list once and for all, don't you? What they did to your husband was insulting the first time and should not have been allowed to happen twice.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 16-year-old girl and desperate for advice. My parents' fighting has gotten out of control lately. It got so bad one evening that my mom, my sisters and I had to leave for the night.

I should also mention that my dad is abusive, so I fear for my life when I'm getting yelled at by him. I do not feel safe living with him near me. Call me crazy, but I can't trust my own dad. He has hurt my mom, my sisters and me so badly that I have begun to cut myself trying to heal the pain, but it only makes things worse.

I have tried talking to friends or a counselor, but I didn't like it. I am independent. I like doing things for myself. I am not comfortable talking about my feelings. What can I do to protect my family? -- TRYING TO COPE IN MINNESOTA

DEAR TRYING TO COPE: As much as you might wish to, there is nothing you can do to protect your family from an abusive bully. That is your mother's job. Because it appears she is unable to calm your father or successfully assert herself, the person you must protect is yourself.

Because your father sometimes becomes violent, suggest to your mother that she contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Their toll-free phone number is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). The counselors can help her assess whether she needs to get you all out of there to ensure your safety.

While I respect your desire to be independent, please understand that some problems need to be discussed with a licensed professional in order to be resolved. Cutting to relieve depression is one of them. That is why it is extremely important that you make the effort to talk to a counselor at school if one is provided, because it may take professional help for you to stop self-injuring.

DEAR ABBY: My husband recently caught a cold, and he has been coughing badly. Other than the cough, he is in good shape and not feverish.

Last night his coughing woke me up three times. The first time, I went back to sleep. The second time, I asked him to sleep somewhere else so he wouldn't wake me up, and the third time, I got up and slept on the couch.

We disagree on who should have left the room. He says he was sick, so he was right to stay in bed. I say he was the one who couldn't sleep and, therefore, he should've left the room. I know when I can't sleep, I usually leave the room so I won't disturb him.

Abby, we have a 20-month-old son who regularly wakes me up at night, and I'm usually the one who gets up for him. I get less than six hours' sleep a night -- and that's when my son sleeps well. I think my husband was selfish in disturbing my sleep when he could have left the room and returned to bed when his cough subsided. Am I wrong? -- SLEEPLESS IN MONTREAL

DEAR SLEEPLESS: Coughing is a reflex, and your husband may not have been able to stifle or control it. Rather than arguing about this, my advice to you is to arrange to sleep in another room until he's over the cough. That way you can get the sleep you need.

P.S. A bad cough is nothing to sneeze at.