DEAR ABBY: How do you convince co-workers to stay on topic and on track in business meetings? Each week I am required to attend a mandatory meeting, and each week the people in that meeting drag in personal issues or start talking about the news.

I have tried suggesting that we stay on track and keep the meetings brief, but it's not working -- especially since management is one of the worst offenders. Please respond! -- ON TRACK IN LAWTON, OKLA.

DEAR ON TRACK: Some companies have eliminated meetings for exactly the reason you have described and found that productivity increased. Those who schedule regular meetings keep them on track by listing the subjects to be discussed on an agenda and sticking to it. However, someone must control the meeting and ensure that the agenda is adhered to.

Because your boss is causing the problem, there is nothing you or I can do about it. If it was another employee, "someone" could suggest that the topic of conversation wasn't on the agenda and a better time for discussing it would be during a break or at lunch.

DEAR ABBY: A dear cousin let me know that she'll be coming to visit for two weeks. My problem is, she's allergic to everything and has asked me to purchase special foods for her and to board my cats for the duration of her stay.

The food and boarding fees are very expensive, and I don't earn that much. Also, my cats are my children. They won't be happy to be away from me, nor will I be happy to have them away. My cousin asked me to do these things after she informed me that she had already purchased her airline tickets. What should I do? -- BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE

DEAR BETWEEN: If your presumptuous "dear" cousin is "allergic to everything," then surely she must be aware that her allergies will be triggered if she is exposed not only to your cats, but also the dander that they have shed on the furniture, carpets and possibly the window treatments in your home. In other words, boarding your "children" may not be enough to prevent an allergic reaction.

For her sake and yours, before she arrives give her a list of reasonably priced, pet-free hotels and motels close by. Her health could depend on it.

P.S. Room service should be able to cater to her dietary needs.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 35-year-old recovering addict currently 23 months clean and sober. I have worked hard to get to where I am today.

My problem concerns my sister. She constantly brings my addiction up to other people around me. I almost feel like she's trying to make a spectacle of me. I know I'm an addict, and I am dealing with it. I work my steps, my program and my recovery every day. I have learned much about this terrible disease, and I am tired of feeling like a sideshow freak when my sister brings it up. Any suggestions on how to handle this? -- RECOVERING BIG SIS

DEAR BIG SIS: First, ask your sister why she feels compelled to bring up such a private matter with others. Then explain that when she talks about it, it makes you uncomfortable, and ask her to please stop. If she doesn't comply, limit your time with her.

DEAR ABBY: I am 20. My father, who recently turned 50, is dating a girl, "Amber," who is only 19. I went to high school with Amber, and I know for a fact there isn't a lot she has to offer him unless it's trouble.

Our parents divorced 16 years ago, and Dad hasn't had another woman in his life who he really liked. He has dated casually, but this is turning into something serious. They have been seeing each other only a few weeks, and they are now talking about an engagement.

Abby, Amber has a 6-month-old son. The child's father will have nothing to do with her or the baby. I think she's after Dad for the money, and I do not approve of their relationship. What should I do? -- UPSET IN FLORIDA

DEAR UPSET: Calm down and bide your time. Their relationship is fresh and new, and many people mistake passion for love in the beginning. Rather than saying you don't approve, if you are given the opportunity, suggest to your father that he and Amber "get to know each other better" before rushing into anything. If the engagement happens, let your father's attorney in on what's happening. That way he can suggest to your dad the wisdom of having a prenuptial agreement, so he and Amber will both be protected.

P.S. Give the girl a chance. She may not be in it for the money. What she may be looking for is a stable husband and father for her son, and in return she could make your father happy.

DEAR ABBY: My son, "Jasper," is a part-time student living at home and working with me in our family business. He was not at home and ready to work this morning. This isn't the first time it has happened.

I have told my son that I enjoy working with him and consider him an asset to the business, but he needs to be more reliable. I have suspended him for one week without pay.

My wife feels I'm being harsh, but any other employer would do the same or worse. I feel Jasper needs to learn the facts of life in the working world. Do you agree with my decision? -- JOE IN SACO, MAINE

DEAR JOE: I certainly do. One of the most important elements in achieving success in any career is showing up for the job. If your son can't accept that, then perhaps he would learn the truth of it by working in something other than the family business for a year.

DEAR ABBY: I am 15 and have been in love with "Caleb" for four years. He never noticed me until recently, when he started sitting next to me and talking to me. We are good friends now, and I have been told he likes me, too.

I am happy about it, except that when we sit together, Caleb sometimes touches me in inappropriate places. If I tell him to stop, I'm afraid it will end our friendship. What should I do? -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN TEXAS

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Speak up. If telling Caleb to stop touching you in a way that makes you uncomfortable ends your friendship, then face it -- it wasn't much of a friendship to begin with.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Sean," and I met online six months ago. We are now at the stage where we are meeting and going out with each other's friends and co-workers, and the question, "How did you meet?" is coming up.

Sean prefers his friends and family not know we met on an online dating site, while I have been up-front with my circle of friends. I would rather get our history straight before these groups meet each other.

How do we balance his need for privacy with my openness? I would also like to use this as an example to de-stigmatize online dating for my single friends. -- DATING IN D.C.

DEAR DATING: Doesn't your boyfriend know that many people meet online these days? Would he prefer his friends and family thought he picked you up in a bar? Joining a dating site is nothing to be ashamed of, and I have known several online matches that have led to happy marriages.

Doesn't the fact that Sean wants to fudge the truth with his family and friends bother you? I find that to be more of a concern than how you met.

DEAR ABBY: A year and a half ago, right before I turned 16, I made the decision to start dating. Before I had my first boyfriend, I set some guidelines for what I wanted in a relationship -- someone who isn't controlling, who treats me well, etc.

I also decided to wait to have my first kiss until I found someone special. These days, I think too many people my age are too sexually active. I don't want a boy to feel that because I let him kiss me, I will take the next step with him. I think there is a line that should never be crossed before marriage.

Do you think I am taking this too far by wanting to wait to be kissed? Or are the boundaries I'm setting for myself reasonable? -- HOLDING OUT IN OREGON

DEAR HOLDING OUT: Of course the first person you kiss should be "special." And when you meet him, I am sure you'll know he's the right one. You have to do what is right for you. I respect the fact that you have set boundaries and refuse to do something just because someone else may be doing it.

DEAR ABBY: Knowing how much you care about animals, I hope you will make your readers aware of how dangerous lighted candles can be where there are pets in a home.

Many of us love to brighten our home with candles. They have become popular accessories due to home decorating shows and magazines. But for people who have pets, candles can pose a real danger. A cat can walk past a burning candle and ignite its fur. A happy dog's wagging tail can knock a burning candle over.

A candle placed too near a curtain can cause a whole house to go up in flames. And a person who leaves a candle lighted while he or she goes out on a quick errand can come home to find a tragedy. Please remind your readers to be mindful and to practice candle safety. -- ESTHER MECHLER, DIRECTOR, SPAY/USA

DEAR ESTHER: Thank you for the timely reminder that candles present a real danger if left unattended in a household with pets -- or small children. The good news is that flameless, battery-operated candles are now available that look exactly like the "real thing."