DEAR ABBY: I am 20. My father, who recently turned 50, is dating a girl, "Amber," who is only 19. I went to high school with Amber, and I know for a fact there isn't a lot she has to offer him unless it's trouble.

Our parents divorced 16 years ago, and Dad hasn't had another woman in his life who he really liked. He has dated casually, but this is turning into something serious. They have been seeing each other only a few weeks, and they are now talking about an engagement.

Abby, Amber has a 6-month-old son. The child's father will have nothing to do with her or the baby. I think she's after Dad for the money, and I do not approve of their relationship. What should I do? -- UPSET IN FLORIDA

DEAR UPSET: Calm down and bide your time. Their relationship is fresh and new, and many people mistake passion for love in the beginning. Rather than saying you don't approve, if you are given the opportunity, suggest to your father that he and Amber "get to know each other better" before rushing into anything. If the engagement happens, let your father's attorney in on what's happening. That way he can suggest to your dad the wisdom of having a prenuptial agreement, so he and Amber will both be protected.

P.S. Give the girl a chance. She may not be in it for the money. What she may be looking for is a stable husband and father for her son, and in return she could make your father happy.

DEAR ABBY: My son, "Jasper," is a part-time student living at home and working with me in our family business. He was not at home and ready to work this morning. This isn't the first time it has happened.

I have told my son that I enjoy working with him and consider him an asset to the business, but he needs to be more reliable. I have suspended him for one week without pay.

My wife feels I'm being harsh, but any other employer would do the same or worse. I feel Jasper needs to learn the facts of life in the working world. Do you agree with my decision? -- JOE IN SACO, MAINE

DEAR JOE: I certainly do. One of the most important elements in achieving success in any career is showing up for the job. If your son can't accept that, then perhaps he would learn the truth of it by working in something other than the family business for a year.

DEAR ABBY: I am 15 and have been in love with "Caleb" for four years. He never noticed me until recently, when he started sitting next to me and talking to me. We are good friends now, and I have been told he likes me, too.

I am happy about it, except that when we sit together, Caleb sometimes touches me in inappropriate places. If I tell him to stop, I'm afraid it will end our friendship. What should I do? -- UNCOMFORTABLE IN TEXAS

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: Speak up. If telling Caleb to stop touching you in a way that makes you uncomfortable ends your friendship, then face it -- it wasn't much of a friendship to begin with.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Sean," and I met online six months ago. We are now at the stage where we are meeting and going out with each other's friends and co-workers, and the question, "How did you meet?" is coming up.

Sean prefers his friends and family not know we met on an online dating site, while I have been up-front with my circle of friends. I would rather get our history straight before these groups meet each other.

How do we balance his need for privacy with my openness? I would also like to use this as an example to de-stigmatize online dating for my single friends. -- DATING IN D.C.

DEAR DATING: Doesn't your boyfriend know that many people meet online these days? Would he prefer his friends and family thought he picked you up in a bar? Joining a dating site is nothing to be ashamed of, and I have known several online matches that have led to happy marriages.

Doesn't the fact that Sean wants to fudge the truth with his family and friends bother you? I find that to be more of a concern than how you met.

DEAR ABBY: A year and a half ago, right before I turned 16, I made the decision to start dating. Before I had my first boyfriend, I set some guidelines for what I wanted in a relationship -- someone who isn't controlling, who treats me well, etc.

I also decided to wait to have my first kiss until I found someone special. These days, I think too many people my age are too sexually active. I don't want a boy to feel that because I let him kiss me, I will take the next step with him. I think there is a line that should never be crossed before marriage.

Do you think I am taking this too far by wanting to wait to be kissed? Or are the boundaries I'm setting for myself reasonable? -- HOLDING OUT IN OREGON

DEAR HOLDING OUT: Of course the first person you kiss should be "special." And when you meet him, I am sure you'll know he's the right one. You have to do what is right for you. I respect the fact that you have set boundaries and refuse to do something just because someone else may be doing it.

DEAR ABBY: Knowing how much you care about animals, I hope you will make your readers aware of how dangerous lighted candles can be where there are pets in a home.

Many of us love to brighten our home with candles. They have become popular accessories due to home decorating shows and magazines. But for people who have pets, candles can pose a real danger. A cat can walk past a burning candle and ignite its fur. A happy dog's wagging tail can knock a burning candle over.

A candle placed too near a curtain can cause a whole house to go up in flames. And a person who leaves a candle lighted while he or she goes out on a quick errand can come home to find a tragedy. Please remind your readers to be mindful and to practice candle safety. -- ESTHER MECHLER, DIRECTOR, SPAY/USA

DEAR ESTHER: Thank you for the timely reminder that candles present a real danger if left unattended in a household with pets -- or small children. The good news is that flameless, battery-operated candles are now available that look exactly like the "real thing."

DEAR ABBY: Will you please explain to your readers that doctors do not practice medicine 24 hours a day? Each time we reveal to people that my husband is a psychiatrist, we have to put up with unfunny jokes about how he's going to analyze them, or insinuations that all he does is sit on a couch and ask, "And how do you feel about that?" How should we respond to these misconceptions? -- NOT LAUGHING IN IOWA

DEAR NOT LAUGHING: The attempts at humor are not a reflection on your husband or the psychiatric profession. They are a clue that the person may be afraid that if he or she opens up and talks with him, he may realize that he or she is "crazy."

Your question takes me back to my childhood, when our family lived in the Midwest and the first psychiatrist moved to the city and opened a practice. For months, no one would talk to the poor man for exactly that reason.

When people "joke" that your husband is going to analyze them, he should smile and say, "Don't worry -- I'm off duty." (If I were in his shoes, I'd be tempted to ask, "... and how do you feel about that?")

DEAR ABBY: I am being marred in the fall. Ever since I was 11, I have had a wonderful beagle. She sleeps in my bed and I take her everywhere. She cuddles with me and has been there for me during some of the most terrible times in my life. I treat her like she's my baby.

Abby, I want my dog to attend my wedding. One of my best friends -- one of my bridesmaids -- says a dog shouldn't be allowed to attend the wedding. I say she should be. Who is right? -- BRIDE-TO-BE IN ALABAMA

DEAR BRIDE-TO-BE: I have heard of dogs not only attending weddings, but also being part of the bridal party. However, whether your four-legged companion will be welcomed at your wedding may depend on how the person who officiates feels about it -- and that is the person you should consult.

DEAR ABBY: I am at a loss as to how to deal with family members who constantly text others while supposedly visiting us or when we're having dinner out together.

I personally find it rude, but I am reluctant to ask them to put it away. Do you have a snappy comment for me? -- NON-TEXTER IN A TEXTING WORLD

DEAR NON-TEXTER: What your family members are doing is extremely rude. The message it sends to you is that your company is boring and the person would rather be elsewhere. (Indeed, the person who is texting IS elsewhere.) Tell your family members that when they visit, you would prefer they keep their electronic devices off until they leave. (If this happened while I was hosting a meal, I think I'd ask for separate checks and tell them why.)

DEAR READERS: For those of you who live where Daylight Saving Time is observed, I offer a gentle reminder. Don't forget to turn your clocks forward one hour before you go to bed tonight because Daylight Saving Time begins at 2 a.m. tomorrow.