DEAR ABBY: I have been dating a wonderful man I'll call "George" for the past 14 months. We have never had an argument or even a disagreement. We both have good jobs, like doing the same things, and we see each other every weekend. Our co-workers and family members have commented that we seem remarkably happy as a couple.

Don't get me wrong. George and I know what we like and dislike in life. We talk about things, have serious discussions and deal with whatever comes our way. But for some reason, my sister insists that by now my boyfriend and I should have had at least one good argument. She thinks it's weird that we haven't, and says we are "trying too hard" to make each other happy. She says George and I are ignoring things that could cause unhappiness.

My sister is younger, married, works full-time and has three kids. I think she may be secretly jealous of our relationship. So I ask you, Abby, DO all couples have to argue or have disagreements? -- "MISS BLISS" in N.Y.C.

Dear "MISS BLISS": No, they do not. Some couples have a higher compatibility quotient than others. Intelligent, mature people do not necessarily agree on everything. However, they respect each other's right to disagree without it degenerating into an argument.

It appears that you and George recognize how lucky you are to have found each other. Whether your sister is jealous is beside the point. When you are ready to take the next step, premarital counseling -- which I think is a good idea for all couples -- can ensure that you and George are on the same page about the things you both think are important.

DEAR ABBY: Our 10-year-old son, "Harry," is a sore loser. If we play a sport or a board game with him, he ends up in tears if he doesn't win. Sometimes he will cheat if he thinks it will help him win. He even becomes upset when his favorite NHL hockey team loses a game.

We have told Harry repeatedly that games are supposed to be fun, but he seems unable to grasp the concept. We do not know what else to do. Can you help? -- HAVING NO FUN IN CANADA

DEAR HAVING NO FUN: Learning to handle and channel frustration is part of growing up. Nobody likes to lose, yet winning and losing are a part of every competition. If you catch Harry cheating, there should be a penalty, and you should let him know you are disappointed in him.

Continue to impress upon your son that the most important aspect of sportsmanship (or gamesmanship) is learning not only to be a gracious winner but also to be gracious in defeat. Tiger Woods is a glowing example of sportsmanship at its best. A cheat may win a game, but when the deed is discovered, no one respects the person. It's sad to say, but we have seen examples of that, too, in professional sports in recent years.

DEAR ABBY: Our 10-year-old son, "Harry," is a sore loser. If we play a sport or a board game with him, he ends up in tears if he doesn't win. Sometimes he will cheat if he thinks it will help him win. He even becomes upset when his favorite NHL hockey team loses a game.

We have told Harry repeatedly that games are supposed to be fun, but he seems unable to grasp the concept. We do not know what else to do. Can you help? -- HAVING NO FUN IN CANADA

DEAR HAVING NO FUN: Learning to handle and channel frustration is part of growing up. Nobody likes to lose, yet winning and losing are a part of every competition. If you catch Harry cheating, there should be a penalty, and you should let him know you are disappointed in him.

Continue to impress upon your son that the most important aspect of sportsmanship (or gamesmanship) is learning not only to be a gracious winner but also to be gracious in defeat. Tiger Woods is a glowing example of sportsmanship at its best. A cheat may win a game, but when the deed is discovered, no one respects the person. It's sad to say, but we have seen examples of that, too, in professional sports in recent years.

DEAR ABBY: My new boyfriend, "Paul," and I seem to discover good qualities in each other every time we get together. I think he's wonderful. Recently, though, he said he has noticed something about me that he considers rude.

At the mall, I have always been irritated by kiosk salespeople who practically block your way to sample their product. I ignore these pushy merchants because they usually won't take no for an answer, even if I attempt to say, "No, thank you."

Paul thinks I'm being impolite, so he's the one who ends up being detained, trying to be kind, while I wait for him to finish apologizing for not wanting their product.

I don't feel my way of handling this is rude. I have told Paul he doesn't have to please everyone, act interested or waste his time at the kiosk. Who do you think is right? -- NOT RUDE IN HOUSTON

DEAR NOT RUDE: I agree with your boyfriend that to ignore someone is rude. However, rather than ignore these salespeople, a firm "Not interested" should be sufficient. And if the person persists, keep walking.

DEAR ABBY: It takes a lot for me to write, but I felt your response to "Quarters From Heaven" (Dec. 20) was unfeeling. I would imagine the smoke odor from her now-dead friend was fleeting. She didn't need a new room. The quarters, too, were a special reminder. After my father died, I kept finding pennies and nickels for several months.

My late husband, Jim, used the smell of coffee to let us know his spirit was close. I have been awakened twice at 2 or 3 a.m., and the third time it was 6 a.m. I was visiting friends at a lake house he loved and awoke to the strong smell of coffee. I went downstairs and said, "I had to get up. I could smell the coffee." My hostess replied, "I haven't started it yet." I said, "Oh, that Jim -- he's doing it to me again."

My son has a shed in the backyard that Jim helped build. He and his 8-year-old son were going out there and the boy said, "I smell coffee." My son said, "I do, too." They went back inside to tell his wife, and she said, "Don't you know your dad always had a cup of coffee he bought on the way here when he came to work on the shed?" When they went back out, the smell was gone.

There has also been a distinct scent of lavender a few times in our bedroom -- and this morning I smelled oatmeal for a few minutes. He liked to cook it, and I never do. Jim has been gone almost three years, and these reminders are on an occasional basis. It is their way of communicating. -- BARBARA IN WHITESBORO, N.Y.

DEAR BARBARA: I heard from quite a few readers who were unhappy about my answer to that letter. I should have stopped at offering my sympathy -- and if my reply caused hurt feelings, I sincerely apologize. We all have our own way of coping with loss, and if pennies from heaven, quarters -- even seeing butterflies -- brings comfort, I should not have discouraged it.

DEAR ABBY: Please help my husband and me settle an argument. He hates when I step out of the shower onto the bath mat to dry off, leaving it wet. I think that's what the bath mat is for. Who's right? -- LISA IN LEXINGTON, S.C.

DEAR LISA: You are. The alternative would be to step out of the shower onto a tile floor -- which could cause a slip and fall, or onto carpet, which would become moldy. After you have finished drying off, however, the bath mat should be hung up to dry.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 13-year-old girl -- a straight-A student in the eighth grade. Most of my teachers like me, but I am overscheduled.

I do swimming five times a week. To prepare for the Advanced Placement test, I have German lessons every Wednesday. I have orchestra rehearsal every Saturday morning and sailing class every Sunday. I also take private violin lessons that I must practice for.

I love swimming, but if I go less often, I will be kicked off the team. The German class is something my mom insists on, and I don't mind it too much. I like being musical, and my violin teacher insists I play in the orchestra. Sailing is my passion. I am nationally ranked, and it keeps me going.

I manage this schedule, but some time for myself would be much appreciated. Any ideas, Abby? -- STRESSED IN NORTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR STRESSED: It appears you excel at everything, and frankly, just reading your schedule makes me tired. While all of your activities will look good on a college application, you do appear to be overscheduled. A talk with a school counselor might help you better prioritize your interests -- and that's what I recommend you do before you burn out.

DEAR ABBY: I am living with a great guy. "Phil" is a sweetheart. He has two nice kids, a good job and we are talking about marriage. We travel, have fun and I have never been happier.

Here's my problem: My son, "Danny," a college senior, will most likely need to move back home in May. I love him, but I must admit he is self-centered, depressing and uncooperative. I suppose much of it is his father's and my fault.

Phil does not want Danny to move in after graduation. He feels the decision is not about choosing between him and my son, but about choosing between my son and me.

I can envision a wonderful future with Phil, but I can't imagine telling my son that he is on his own. My heart tells me I'm a mother first and must provide for my son no matter what. In the back of my mind I suspect that if I don't, I'll regret it forever. I see no middle ground. Can you? -- CAUGHT IN THE MIDDLE

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: The first thing that comes to mind is that Danny should move in with his father. If that is not feasible, then you, Phil and Danny must sit down together and talk like adults.

You stated that you live with Phil -- not the other way around. If it is Phil's house, he is under no obligation to have your son as a long-term houseguest. If he does agree, he has a right to know that Danny will be there under certain conditions, for a limited period of time and have it in writing.

Among today's realities is the fact that the job market is difficult, and not all college graduates are able to find jobs in their chosen fields. A certain amount of compromise will be necessary on all your parts.

DEAR ABBY: I run a "coupon swap" in my office. Subsequently, at the end of each week, I am left with numerous unwanted coupons. Can you give me any ideas on how to put these "leftovers" to good use? -- THRIFTY SHOPPER IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR THRIFTY SHOPPER: Gladly. Donate them to a church, shelter, food bank or a nursing home. I'm sure they would be appreciated.