DEAR ABBY: My father recently began treatment for cancer. He has radiation daily and chemo once a week. Mom and Dad spend many hours sitting in the hospital for these treatments.

Several families from church have asked what they can do to make my parents' lives easier at this time. I have asked that instead of offering to make meals (Mom and Dad are both on restricted diets), donating puzzle books, meditation books and crossword puzzles to be enjoyed at the hospital would be a better idea.

I also plan to assemble some "boredom-buster bags" for my parents each week, so they won't get antsy waiting around for the procedures to be finished. -- TRISHA IN MOORESVILLE, IND.

DEAR TRISHA: That's a terrific idea. However, if the church members would like to become more involved, ask them to consider saving their fashion, sports and political magazines and deliver them on a regular basis to the chemotherapy center. That way they will not only help your parents, but also other patients who are undergoing treatment there. I'm sure the donations would be greatly appreciated.

DEAR ABBY: I recently graduated from college, but aside from that, I can't seem to finish anything I start. I am a creative and talented designer, but because I no longer have deadlines, I don't see any of my projects through to completion.

I have tried giving myself personal deadlines to no avail, because I know there will be no consequences. Then I become angry and frustrated with myself, and the piles of uncompleted work get larger and larger. It seems like I am easily bored or stressed -- that's when I stop working. I long for a sense of accomplishment and pride in my abilities. Could I have a disorder? -- NEEDS HELP FINISHING TH ...

DEAR NEEDS HELP: Not unless being disorganized and not a self-starter is a disorder. Your inability to abide by personal deadlines will have serious "consequences" if you plan to have a career in design, because if you can't complete a project, you will have nothing to show potential clients. If you have nothing to show, you reduce the chances of being hired. So stop the self-indulgence and get moving!

DEAR ABBY: A few years ago, my husband and I had beautiful wood floors installed in our home. My problem is my two sons, ages 20 and 21, who constantly track dirt through the house. I have asked many times that they please wipe their feet or remove their shoes. They do it only if I am in the living room and can see them when they walk in.

I would like to tack a sign on the front door that says, "Wipe your feet or remove your shoes before entering." My husband thinks it would be rude, but he's not the one who has to constantly clean the floor.

Would it be rude to put up a sign? Or must I just continue to sweep and mop daily? -- TIRED OF MOPPING IN DENHAM SPRINGS, LA.

DEAR TIRED OF MOPPING: If your sons are the only offenders, hanging a sign should not be necessary. In your absence your husband should enforce the rules. And if he doesn't, then HE should do the mopping.

Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds)

DEAR ABBY: My husband "William" and I have been married 32 years. I love him dearly, but his health is poor. William is only 55, has had five heart attacks and has three stents in his heart. His last visit to the ER included being hit with paddles because his heart had stopped. In spite of this, my husband continues to smoke, eat whatever he wants and so on. I feel as if I am just waiting for him to die.

I think about this all the time. When I try to call my husband and he doesn't answer, I envision him at home dead on the floor. We have made all the arrangements necessary for when the time comes.

We recently moved into a new home. William works constantly around the house and then complains to me about how tired he gets. When I encourage him to take it easy and rest, he says, "I have to get everything done before I die." It's driving my crazy.

How do I end these obsessive thoughts of my husband dying? It scares me to think of life without him. We have been together since I was a teenager. Other times I feel as if his death will actually set me free. William is a good man, and I'm troubled by these constant nagging thoughts. Any advice would be a blessing. -- WAITING IN TEXAS

DEAR WAITING: Considering the circumstances, your concern is normal. If my husband had had five heart attacks and didn't take care of himself, I would be worried sick, too.

It is very important that you understand and accept that your husband is living his life on his own terms, exactly the way he wants to -- smoking, eating, fixing up the house so it will be "perfect" for the woman he loves. Enjoy him to the fullest and be thankful for every day you have with him, because the more you obsess about losing him, the less you will be able to enjoy the present. If you think about it -- the present is all that anybody is guaranteed. A talk with a therapist or a member of the clergy -- so you'll have someone to lean on when the time comes -- may help you make your way through the process of acceptance.

DEAR ABBY: I am a responsible adult, age 28. I have a college degree and a good job. I pay my bills on time and own my own home. My situation is I had a child when I was a teenager.

Often when people find out that I am his mother, they'll make a comment such as, "Oh, you're too young to have a 12-year-old child." That statement is absolutely correct. However, I don't feel I should have to go into detail about how old I was when my son was born.

Can you please provide me with a response that will not be rude but will end the conversation? While I understand where the generalizations about teenage mothers come from, they do not apply in all situations. -- YOUNG MOTHER IN CHESAPEAKE BAY, VA.

DEAR YOUNG MOTHER: Just smile at the person, say, "Thank you for the compliment," and change the subject. You are under no obligation to reveal any further details.

DEAR ABBY: Six years ago, my best friend asked me to be godmother to her beautiful little daughter, "Sharona." At the time she made it clear that if I accepted, she and her husband would name me as Sharona's guardian in their will. I was deeply touched that they would trust me with such an important responsibility and was happy to accept.

As she has grown, Sharona and I have developed a close bond, and I love her as if she were my own. Her parents have since had two sons, and although I am not the boys' godmother, they have now asked me if they can name me as guardian for all three.

I love the children, but I am 27, single and live 1,500 miles from my family. I cannot financially, physically or emotionally take on the task of raising three children. If anything were to happen to my friends, I couldn't bear the thought of anyone other than me raising Sharona. Would it be terrible if I turned down the request to also be guardian to the boys? -- GODMOTHER TO ONE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR GODMOTHER TO ONE: No, it would not, because your reasons are valid. However, your friend and her husband may want to ensure that their children would all be raised together if anything were to happen to them -- which it probably won't. So be prepared in case they decide they want to make other arrangements for Sharona.

DEAR ABBY: Could you please remind your readers that Hawaii is part of the United States? You would be shocked at how many times tourists have asked me, "Have you ever been to America?" And when I visit the mainland, people ask me if we have cars in Hawaii, if we live in grass shacks and can I dance the hula.

A great way to get the word out that Hawaii is a wonderful, up-to-date place that happens to be the 50th state in the union would be a "reminder" from you. I am proud to be an American, and I find these questions to be insulting. -- CHERI-ANN IN HONOLULU

DEAR CHERI-ANN: Please don't take offense. The questioners are not trying to be insulting. Obviously, these people were absent (or distracted) on the day that their class in modern history covered the fact that Hawaii went from being a U.S. territory to a state on Aug. 21, 1959. When you are asked these kinds of questions, tell the person to go to Google.com and search on the word Hawaii.

DEAR ABBY: I have a housekeeper who comes once a week for five hours. My family is calling me an ogre because I expect them to pick up their stuff before she arrives.

Abby, I want that woman's full five hours spent cleaning -- not picking up after everyone so she can get started. Whatever she doesn't get done will most likely have to be finished by me. I work full time, plus I am the one who runs errands and helps with homework. I don't need another chore added to my list.

Am I being unfair? -- FULL PLATE IN ELIZABETH CITY, N.C.

DEAR FULL PLATE: Not from my perspective. Insisting that your family learn to pick up after themselves and care for their clothing is doing them a favor. In years to come, when they are out on their own, those lessons will have become second nature and maybe they won't need a housekeeper.