DEAR ABBY: I have been involved in several weddings, and something has come up we hope you can help with. Often with wedding gifts, the card becomes separated from the gift, or in the case of online retailers, they forget to enclose the sender's information in the box. How does one go about thanking people for their generous gift if you're not sure who the sender is?

What is the solution, short of calling and telling people you didn't receive something from them and asking, "What did you get us?" -- C.P. IN VAN NUYS

DEAR C.P.: To prevent cards from being separated from the wedding gifts when they arrive, they should immediately be placed inside the gift box -- and what the item is should be written on the guest list. (The date it was received would also be helpful.)

If something arrives without a card, contact the store it came from, the online vendor who sent it or the company that delivered it. If they can't provide that information, then check your master list to see whose name has a blank next to it and call the person. Sometimes packages have been known to "fall off the truck," and this is a safeguard against theft.

DEAR ABBY: Last spring I suffered a stroke. Living alone, and with my family living 2,000 miles away, I became depressed. My daughter suggested that I get a pet. I discussed it with my doctor and he agreed.

I adopted an adult dog from the Humane Society, and it has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. We walk every day, my depression is beginning to wane, and I have met my neighbors.

Please encourage your readers to adopt from their local shelter. Not only will they be saving the life of an animal, but he may also wind up saving theirs. -- JAN AND KARMA IN BARSTOW, CALIF.

DEAR JAN AND KARMA: It's a well-known fact that a pet can add quality to its owner's life not only by reducing stress, but also because responsible pet ownership requires establishing a regular routine that includes a healthy dose of exercise. I'm pleased to print your letter, for exactly the reason you mentioned, for anyone who could benefit from a dose of unconditional love.

DEAR ABBY: My spouse and I have a conflict and need an objective opinion, please.

I sit in one room to read and watch TV while "John Dear" reads in another room. The phone sits right next to his chair. The phone where I sit is across the room from my recliner. John Dear says that because I get more phone calls than he does, I should always answer the phone. I say he should since it's just 6 inches away from his reach, and if it's for me, all he has to do is yell and I'll get up. Both rooms are small, and I have no trouble hearing him.

What do you think? -- DISAGREEING IN KOKOMO

DEAR DISAGREEING: Because most of the phone calls are for you, you'd be spared a lot of arguments if you'd invest in a portable phone for your room. That way the phone will be right next to you, and your husband won't be interrupted while he's trying to read. (Then you can yell at HIM if the caller asks for him.)

DEAR ABBY: Ever since our baby girl arrived eight months ago, my husband and I have been inundated with baby gifts. Our daughter is the only grandchild on both sides of the family. My husband's parents and mine are divorced and remarried, so there are eight grandparents doting on our daughter. Consequently, we have received multiples of every baby item you can imagine.

Because we live in a small apartment with few closets, there is nowhere to put all these things. We have donated several boxes of clothes and toys to the local shelter. My parents become upset if they visit and we can't produce every single item they sent us. They want us to get rid of other people's gifts and keep only theirs. I don't like the tension this is causing.

Are we obligated to keep these gifts, Abby? Isn't there a way to encourage people to be more restrained in their giving? -- TIRED MOM IN THE CITY

DEAR MOM: There is, but it will require you and your husband to become proactive. Tell your parents that you do not have enough room to accommodate their generosity and request that they limit themselves to one gift per couple. To avoid duplication, ask them to coordinate with each other when buying gifts for their grandchild.

As to your parents, explain that you love them, but once a gift is given it is the recipient's to do with as she wishes (right now, that's you). And explain that if you give everyone else's gifts away and not some of theirs, the others will be offended -- so it's not gonna happen. Period.

DEAR ABBY: My 15-year-old daughter, "Miranda," and I have always been close. We have talked about sex and about how it's always better to tell the truth. We have been open about things since Miranda was old enough to understand -- until now.

Miranda has been going with "Josh" for about a year. His mother found some very graphic sexual messages on his cell phone. When we confronted them, they swore they would not do anything and would wait until they're married. I even discussed birth control with Miranda and planned on getting her an appointment.

Well, I may have been too late. I found a letter to her from Josh. Some of the things he wrote were pornographic -- and they were things he said he wanted to do again! They are playing some of these games at school during breaks and in classrooms where they sit at tables.

I am not sure how to handle this. My husband would never understand. I'm torn about confronting her and the school for not properly supervising these kids. Please help me make the right choice. -- TORN UP IN MISSISSIPPI

DEAR TORN UP: Gladly. You are not giving your husband enough credit. He should be told immediately. He will understand only too well that your daughter and her boyfriend have been playing you like a fiddle.

The problem isn't lack of supervision at school. It is that Miranda has been lying to you and spends too much time with her boyfriend.

Your daughter should have far less free time on her hands and also have access to birth control and the knowledge of how to use it. Insist that she become involved in organized activities outside of school, including volunteer work. Right now, your daughter needs guidance and supervision, so please don't let her down.

DEAR ABBY: I am a woman with alopecia (hair loss) who has gotten to the point where I now wear a hair-enhancement system that clips onto my real hair to stay in place. I am happy with it. My anxiety over the problem is gone.

However, the clips are metal, and now I'm wondering if I can ever fly on a plane again. I have seen little old ladies with hip replacements stopped by screeners. I know I would set off the alarm at the checkpoint.

Is there anything I can do to avoid this humiliation? Is there any provision for this sort of problem, or is it at the discretion of the airport security? -- ANONYMOUS IN TEXAS

DEAR ANONYMOUS: According to Greg Soule, the public affairs spokesman for the Transportation Security Administration, even if the clips are small, they may set off the metal detector when you go through security. However, private screenings are available to anyone who requests them.

You should talk to a security officer in front of the checkpoint and ask to be screened privately. You will be taken from the public view and checked with a hand wand, among other screening techniques. If the clips are detected, a "pat down" and a visual inspection may have to be done to resolve the alarm.

You can bring a note from your physician explaining your condition, if having one helps your peace of mind. But they are not universally accepted because of concerns about fraudulent documents.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter, "Alexa," and her boyfriend, "Ryan," were on vacation and went gambling. Ryan bet $400 at a craps table, handed Alexa the dice and told her to throw. She threw the whole night for him and won $2,500.

After they finished playing, Ryan put all the proceeds in his pocket. I thought it was unfair. Alexa says it's no big deal. I understand that the $400 was his, but she won $2,100 for him.

What's your opinion? Isn't this a red flag not to invest any more time in this relationship? -- NOT BETTING ON THIS ONE

DEAR NOT BETTING: If Ryan's basic nature was generous, he would have split the winnings 50-50. I agree your daughter would have a happier life with someone whose interests are less selfish and more generous. However, if she isn't ready to end the relationship, advise her to have an arrangement with Ryan in advance the next time they go gambling so she'll get more out of the game than carpal tunnel syndrome.

DEAR ABBY: I'm turning 40 this year, and I'm planning on throwing myself a party. Some people, including friends and people I have contacted to hire (a DJ, caterer, etc.), have told me they think it's strange that I am throwing a party for myself.

I'm not married or involved with anyone, and I really want to do this for myself. What are your thoughts? Is it OK to give yourself a party, or is it weird? -- PLANNING FOR THE BIG 4-0

DEAR PLANNING: There is nothing unusual about people throwing parties for themselves to celebrate special occasions. I don't know where the DJ, caterer, etc., got the idea that it's weird. In fact, it's a foolproof way to guarantee that you have exactly the kind of party you want. So, go for it -- and don't let anyone hold you back.