DEAR ABBY: My husband and I attended the wedding of two dear friends. The groom's mother, "Millie," made party favors for all the guests -- little gift bags containing sugar-coated almonds and, because the bride and groom are animal lovers, a small glass animal. A few days later, a friend brought her teenage daughter to our home. The daughter admired the two glass animals, so I gave them to her.

I was shocked when, the following weekend, Millie called and asked me to return them. She said she planned to take them back because she would prefer to use the money to buy the couple something they could use. Feeling guilty for "regifting," I responded with the first thing that popped into my head, that I hoped I hadn't "misplaced" them. Millie said she hoped not, too -- they had cost $35 apiece, and she would expect us to reimburse her! Further, we should not mention it to the "happy couple" because of the embarrassment it would cause.

I asked the bride's sister where Millie might have bought the glass figurines under the guise of wanting to get some as gifts for my grad students. I was stunned when she responded that she had purchased an entire case of these inexpensive animals as wedding favors, and that I was welcome to them if I wanted to pick them up from her home.

I'm unclear what motivated Millie to ask for the animals to be returned, or why she would inflate the price and expect to be reimbursed. I understand there was an unpleasant power struggle over the wedding arrangements, but I'm not sure what she hopes to gain from this.

How should this be handled? My husband says I should tell Millie the truth, that we gave them away and we know they cost only 80 cents apiece. What do you say? -- STYMIED IN MARYLAND

DEAR STYMIED: I say Millie is dishonest, and Millie is manipulative, but she's right about one thing: It would create embarrassment if you told the bride and groom what she's been up to.

You were off the hook the minute the bride's sister told you she had a case of the little glass animals. Swing by, pick up a couple and give them to Millie. She's as transparent as they are, and her story about returning them to buy anything for the happy couple is another fabrication.

DEAR ABBY: I have the classic evil stepmom -- except she is my mother, and it's my stepsisters that she mistreats. They are 8 and 6 and have suffered enough through their mother's divorce.

My mother treats them as if they are less than human and don't have the right to be in "her" house. I feel terrible about the way she treats them. I want to do something about it, but I can't say anything to her because that would be disrespectful. Please advise. -- SILENT WITNESS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SILENT WITNESS: Your mother's behavior is despicable. She knew the girls were part of the package deal when she married their father, and she has no right to abuse them.

Because you feel that talking to your mother would be disrespectful, I urge you to tell the girls' father chapter-and-verse about what's happening to his daughters. No law says your mother has to love them, but at the very least, she should treat them with courtesy and respect.

DEAR ABBY: How does one convey a message to one's dentist and his assistants that you would prefer they not discuss personal matters with each other while working on me?

I recognize that they may be so well-trained that they can converse and do these procedures at the same time. But talking over the patient gives the impression that they aren't fully concentrating on the business at hand.

Sitting in the dentist's chair with your mouth propped wide open, it's impossible to say a word. How can this be conveyed in a respectful way? -- DENTALLY DISTRESSED IN MILWAUKEE

DEAR DISTRESSED: One way to get your message across would be to wait until the procedure is finished, then tell your dentist that you feel being treated like a nonentity is rude and insensitive, and you would prefer it not happen when you're in the chair. If you don't have the courage to say it directly, then tell it to his office manager.

An alternative would be to take your business to another dentist because this one needs to practice better chair-side manners. If that's not acceptable, consider bringing an iPod and listening to it to drown out their voices.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 14-year-old girl. Over the past couple of years, I have grown very close to my 28-year-old cousin, "Amanda." She lives halfway across the country, but we have kept in touch by e-mail and had fun hanging out together last summer.

I recently heard from relatives that Amanda is planning to get married in a few months. She has not known the man very long, and he has not yet been formally introduced to our family. Amanda doesn't have much money, so they've decided on a small ceremony with only their parents attending.

I'm disappointed that I won't be able to go. I'm also afraid that Amanda and I won't be as close as we have been, since being married is a huge commitment and her priorities may shift.

I have tried talking to her about this, but she hasn't answered my e-mails. I miss the closeness we had, and I feel guilty that I'm not as excited as I should be about this big event in Amanda's life. What should I do? -- SAD COUSIN IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SAD: Your special relationship with your cousin is not over, but it has been moved to the back burner because right now she's distracted by her whirlwind romance and planning for her wedding. Once she comes back down to earth, I'm sure you will hear from her.

Send her a token gift and a sweet card wishing her happiness. Try to forgive her for not answering your e-mails and accept the fact that she may be distracted for a while. And rather than allowing yourself time to brood, fill your time with activities and friends you enjoy. These things have a way of working themselves out in time. Trust me.

DEAR ABBY: If you divorce your husband and then start dating him again, what's the appropriate way to introduce him to associates? I say "friend"; he says "wife."

Oh, by the way, I kept my married name, so we still have the same last name. -- TIFFANY IN COLORADO

DEAR TIFFANY: Smile and say, "I'd like you to meet 'John.'" If the person asks his last name, volunteer it, and when the eyebrows go up, tell the truth -- that he's your ex-husband, not your brother.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 21-year-old man in college. I am training for a profession I will love, and I know my future will be very bright.

I would like to volunteer at a soup kitchen or do something for the poor. I have done turkey drives and food drives before, but never worked directly with the people I'm trying to help. My problem is I tend to become very sad or feel helpless when I'm around disadvantaged people. I identify too strongly with their suffering.

Abby, I want to help as many people as I can during my short time on this planet, but I'm paralyzed by their pain. Is something wrong with me? Have you any suggestions? -- WANTS TO HELP IN EDEN, N.Y.

DEAR WANTS TO HELP: My grandfather used to say that a thin line separates those who have from those who don't, and it is the responsibility of those who have to reach out and do something to help the less fortunate. In your case, donating your time would be enormously helpful, and frankly, seeing you personally offering your assistance would go a long way to lifting the spirits of some needy people.

Because you are nervous about it, consider transitioning to the "front lines" by starting with food prep in the kitchen of the shelter and working your way forward as you gain more confidence. Yes, the clients are people in trouble. But they depend on the kindness of people like you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband has been joking recently about being a "closet case." There has always been somewhat of a question about that in the back of my mind. Another ingredient to throw in is the fact that he is very controlling about everything, including sex -- which he withholds unless it's his idea. So, is he a closet case or is he just a controlling person? -- UNSURE IN IRVING, TEXAS

DEAR UNSURE: While many a truth is spoken in jest, having never met your husband, I cannot decide for you whether or not he is gay or bisexual. He does, from your description, however, appear to be an unsatisfying life partner on at least two levels. So my question to you is, do you think you're better off with him or without him -- and is this the way you plan to live the rest of your life?

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I watch our 2-year-old granddaughter almost every weekend. She and her parents live about 60 miles from us.

The problem is, we agreed when we started taking her that we would meet halfway. But for reasons unknown to me, we always have to drive a lot more than halfway. I have checked the mileage and pointed it out to my daughter and son-in-law, and they ignore it.

This may seem petty, but I'm sick of it. They both work and earn more than we do. Don't you think free baby-sitting is reason enough to get your child to the baby sitter? -- GRAND "MA" IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR GRAND "MA": Yes, I do. But as long as you tolerate this arrangement, it will continue. Instead of letting your daughter and son-in-law tell you where they are going to meet you, tell THEM where you will meet them.