DEAR READERS: Rise and shine, everyone! Welcome to a brand-new year. Today is our chance for a new beginning, the day we discard destructive habits for healthy new ones. With that in mind, I'm printing Dear Abby's oft-requested list of New Year's resolutions -- adapted by my mother from the original credo of Al-Anon.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I'll improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I'll refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. If I'm overweight, I'll eat healthily -- if only just for today. And not only that, I'll get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY, I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

And now, Dear Readers, I would like to share an item that was sent in by I.J. Bhatia, who lives in New Delhi, India:

DEAR ABBY: This year, no resolutions, only some guidelines. The Holy Vedas say, "Man has subjected himself to thousands of self-inflicted bondages. Wisdom comes to a man who lives according to the true eternal laws of nature." The following prayer of St. Francis contains a powerful message:

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

"Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

"Where there is injury, pardon;

"Where there is doubt, faith;

"Where there is despair, hope;

"Where there is darkness, light;

"Where there is sadness, joy.

"O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

"To be understood as to understand;

"To be loved as to love.

"For it is in giving that we receive;

"It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

"It is in dying that we are born to eternal life."

May this New Year bring with it peace and joy. And to one and all -- a happy, healthy 2009.

With love, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: My problem is unusual, but I'm hoping if you address it in your column it will help. I'm a married man, confident in who I am, who wears skirts for comfort. I feel skirts are more comfortable than pants, which I find tight, restrictive and uncomfortable. I wear skirts around the house, when I'm out running errands and when I attend church. My clergyman has raised no objection to it.

After much research, my wife and I have concluded that the only thing against men wearing skirts is social pressure, and then only in certain countries -- America being one of them.

Pants are a relatively new style of clothing. For thousands of years of recorded history, men and women both wore skirts. Then women fought for and won the right to wear pants, shorts, whatever they wanted -- which is great. I believe men should have the same option. My wife supports me in this.

Our problem is some family members who disagree have talked behind our backs, started rumors and turned people against us with false information. How can I make them understand that they are entitled to their belief, but that they shouldn't gossip and create problems for us because I am not doing anything wrong? -- JOE IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR JOE: Gossip is the province of small-minded people, and it is sad that your relatives have used the fact that you have chosen to be different as an opportunity to spread malicious falsehoods.

As long as you have the testicular fortitude and shapely enough legs to wear skirts, then you have my blessing. Some men's clothing designers have been trying for years to revive skirts as part of men's wardrobes. Because fashion trends not only change but often revolve, who's to say you're not on the leading edge of what's to come?

DEAR ABBY: A friend of mine bought me a bathrobe. I had told her a while ago that my favorite one had become old, ragged and faded. I also mentioned that I'd had a hard time finding one to replace it that was lightweight enough because most are too warm.

When I opened her gift, I realized that the one she had bought for me was too heavy. I went to exchange it for one in a thinner fabric, but found nothing I liked, so I selected some kitchen utensils because I enjoy cooking and have cooked for her many times.

The next time I saw her, I thanked her and explained what I had done. Now she's upset with me. She says I have hurt her feelings, and she's holding it against me. Was I rude by exchanging her gift, and if so, how can I make it better? Her friendship is important to me. -- TONY IN ALTOONA

DEAR TONY: Apologize to her again, and tell her you're sorry her feelings were hurt. Then ask her what she would have preferred -- to have her gift hanging unused in your closet because it wasn't comfortable, or exchanged for something you could really use. As emotionally vested as she may have been in the bathrobe she selected, if she has a practical bone in her body, she should see it your way.

DEAR READERS: From the bottom of my heart, I wish all of you a happy, healthy and prosperous 2009. And please, if you're driving tonight, don't drink; and if you're drinking tonight, don't drive. Stay safe, everyone! -- Love, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I am a 24-year-old male who has been in a relationship with a great woman, "Hayley," for three years. She has excellent qualities, a good job, she's super loving and would be a wonderful wife someday.

My family loves Hayley -- but my buddies don't, and it is causing me to have mixed feelings. Some days I love her, but on others I want to break up. Then I think of how fantastic our lives would be together. It's weird, because Hayley doesn't change her personality -- it's totally my issue. I'm scared that if I break up with her it could be the worst mistake of my life, and I'll regret it.

Please give me some guidance and point me in the right direction to find the love I have for her. -- SENSITIVE GUY, MILWAUKEE

DEAR SENSITIVE GUY: Hayley may make a wonderful wife someday, but from your letter, YOU are nowhere near ready for marriage. Mature love doesn't blow hot and cold, and the feelings you finally experience for the woman you marry won't be dictated by the impression she makes on your buddies. If you need me to point you in the right direction to "find" the love you have for Hayley, then I don't think it is there to begin with. And the honorable thing to do is to level with her.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 6, my stepfather molested me repeatedly. He served seven years in prison, got lots of therapy and came out a much better man. I am now 20, and he recently e-mailed me and apologized for everything.

I forgave him a long time ago and let him know. We are now on speaking terms via e-mail only, but my boyfriend, my best friend and my mother all think I'm stupid for forgiving him. Abby, what should I tell these people? -- FORGIVING IN SEATTLE

DEAR FORGIVING: Tell them that carrying a load of hatred and resentment toward your abuser was more of a burden than forgiving him. HOWEVER, forgiving your molester doesn't mean that you must have a continuing dialogue with him.

I find it extremely inappropriate that he's trying to insinuate himself into your life now. If you have any intention of allowing it, I urge you to first discuss it with a psychotherapist who specializes in sexual impulse disorders. Although you are no longer a child, one day you might have one. Forewarned is forearmed.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are expecting our first child in a few weeks. While we couldn't be more excited, one thing is really eating at me. When discussing what our parents should be called -- like "Grandma," "Nanny," "Gramps," etc. -- my father-in-law said he wants to be called "Pop."

I think the name "Pop" is for a dad, not a grandfather -- like in "a Mom and Pop business." I recommended "Pop-Pop," but they told me that name was already being used in the family.

Other than on this issue, my in-laws and I get along great. I know it seems petty, but are there any grandfathers out there who are called "Pop"? Do you have any suggestions for any other names? Or should I not make a big deal of this? -- CALL ME DADDY, PORT JERVIS, N.Y.

DEAR DADDY: Congratulations on your pending paternity, but please don't do too much preplanning regarding the name game. These things have a way of working themselves out, so don't sweat the small stuff. When your little one reaches the talking stage, it's very possible that he or she will call the grandfather by a name that he or she invents.