DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, a couple built a home on the lot next to ours. From the time they moved in, we have been concerned about their 11-year-old son's anti-social behavior. It began with him trying to coax our dog into his yard when we were trying to call her in. Then he started coming into our yard, playing roughly with our three small children and using vulgar language around our 8-year-old daughter.

He is no longer allowed in our yard and has been kicked out of three other homes in the neighborhood. The most recent incident occurred a few days ago, when he yelled a profanity at our daughter. I called his mother, and she told me her son would "never behave that way"!

Abby, this boy is creepy. I don't trust him. He stands in his yard staring at us whenever we are outside. I'm worried his behavior will get worse. Other neighbors have seen him abuse his dog and other animals. His parents never watch him. What do we do? I'm worried about my children's safety. -- AFRAID IN WISCONSIN

DEAR AFRAID: You have described a child who is emotionally disturbed and parents who are in denial. Because the neighbors have seen him abuse animals, a report should be made to the police and the department of animal welfare in your community. This boy has no empathy for others and needs professional help. Until he gets it, you are wise to be concerned about your children. Keep a watchful eye.

DEAR ABBY: I lost my father a few months ago after his long battle with cancer. We were very close, and I miss him terribly.

My ex-husband and I are not on good terms, despite the fact that we have children together. He asked our kids -- not me -- if it was OK if he attended the funeral. I told them I didn't want him there. I just wanted to grieve in peace.

A few minutes after Dad's funeral service began, my ex walked in the back door. My sister knew he had been asked not to attend, so she asked him to please leave.

I am so disgusted. My former in-laws, whom I didn't get along with either, sent flowers. I would have preferred they keep their flowers -- but at least they didn't show up.

My children are now mad at me because their father was asked to leave. I just wanted to be left alone. I don't understand why this was so hard for everyone to understand. It was my father, not his, and I just wanted to grieve in peace. -- MOURNING FOR MY DAD IN MISSOURI

DEAR MOURNING: Please accept my condolences for the loss of your father. Your children may have wanted their father there because they were grieving the loss of their grandfather.

According to Emily Post: "If there was ill feeling between the ex-spouse and the deceased," and I assume your father felt about your ex as you do, "the ex should not attend the funeral; instead, he (or she) sends flowers and a sympathy note." However, your wishes should not have been ignored.

The new year has begun, and the less baggage you carry into it, the better off you will be. Please try to forgive your ex for his insensitivity and get on with your life. If you can manage that, it will be less painful for you and your children. If you can't, then counseling may help you to let go of some of your anger, and I recommend it.

DEAR ABBY: A few months ago, I moved into a new apartment. The complex, while not luxurious, is quite nice.

A few weeks after I moved in, one of my neighbors informed me that the woman who lives across from me is running a business from her home. Her "services" are illegal, if you know what I mean. I have noticed that whenever I leave my apartment, or return to it, there is yet another strange man entering or leaving.

I am conflicted. This is my home, too, and I shouldn't have to worry about these characters. What if they mistake my door for hers? Also, I have overheard this woman on her cell phone making arrangements for these individuals to come over. She even gives out the gate code to them.

Although I would like to report these illegal activities, I'm afraid of retaliation. What is the best way to handle this? Or should I just look the other way and mind my own business, the way the other neighbors have? -- IT'S MY HOME, TOO, IN WASHINGTON STATE

DEAR M.H.T.: You and the person who clued you into what has been going on should discuss this matter with the building manager or management company. They should be told exactly what you have told me, including the fact that this woman is giving out the code to the security gate willy-nilly. This is a serious breach of security for every tenant who lives there, and you have a valid reason for concern.

P.S. If you do not feel safe, you should move.

DEAR ABBY: My 20-year-old son, "Gabriel," is suffering from the onset of psychosis. His mother and I have been working with local mental health officials to have him committed to a hospital so he can receive the treatment he so desperately needs.

While my wife was driving him to the hospital, Gabe jumped out of the moving vehicle and took off. He wasn't found for 10 days. When he was returned, we were able to have him committed, and he is now undergoing treatment.

Since then, Gabe has begun talking about his "adventure," which involved walking more than 200 miles. At the time he fled, he was wearing only a shirt, shorts, slippers and a hat. He had $10 on him. He said he made his way through swamps and woods, and was covered with mud and ticks.

After walking for two days, a woman began walking beside him and asked if she could help. Her name was Gay. She took my son into her home, where he was welcomed by her husband and daughter. They also gave him some food and money when he left.

Our son could have died had it not been for Gay and her family. Since we don't know the last name or exact location of these Good Samaritans, a letter in your column is the only way we have to express our deep gratitude. Thank you, and may God bless each of you for your kindness. -- GRATEFUL DAD, ALEXANDRIA, VA.

DEAR GRATEFUL DAD: I'm pleased to print your letter. Not only does it convey your feelings, it also serves as a reminder that the mentally ill people we see living on our streets and in our alleys -- instead of in hospitals where they should be receiving treatment -- are ALL somebody's children. And even if their families are not involved, they are still children of God.

DEAR ABBY: I need some advice on how to handle a delicate situation at work because it's starting to get to me.

One of my co-workers, "Vicki," is overweight. She has been dieting and having some success with it. I support her efforts and am happy for her. However, she constantly makes comments to and about me. I often hear her comparing our looks, and I have heard her saying that we wear the same size. Abby, we don't.

As with many women, I struggle to maintain a positive body image. Vicki's constant comparisons are now shaking my confidence. It is the persistence of her remarks that is getting to me. I don't understand why she feels it is appropriate to comment on my body, size or looks. I didn't ask to be used as a benchmark for her weight loss. Should I say something or keep quiet? -- MEDIUM-SIZED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR MEDIUM-SIZED: Vicki envies and admires your looks. Like it or not, you are her "role model." She is also in denial about the way she actually looks. Because her constant comments bother you to the extent they do, you should definitely tell her she is making you self-conscious and ask her to stop. And if she doesn't comply, ask your boss to get the message across to her that her behavior is inappropriate.

DEAR ABBY: My mother-in-law is insisting that she have my 8-month-old daughter "Mallory's" ears pierced. I am refusing. I do not want Mallory to be uncomfortable during the procedure or afterward. I have enough to worry about without adding fears of infected earlobes or my little one choking on jewelry parts. Mallory is just a baby -- MY baby.

My mother-in-law says she will "slip off" and have Mallory's ears pierced and I won't be able to do anything about it. Furthermore, when I said I didn't feel it was necessary to explain why I was against the idea, my father-in-law stood up and told me to get out of his #@&! house. I took Mallory and left.

Two weeks later, they called my husband and asked to baby-sit. They have never apologized. I'm afraid they will pierce my baby's ears if she's left alone with them. What do I do? -- MALLORY'S MOM IN GEORGIA

DEAR MOM: I'll tell you what you DON'T do -- you do not allow your in-laws to baby-sit your daughter until you are absolutely sure your wishes about her care will be followed.

DEAR ABBY: For the past 10 years I have put up with my husband's manipulative ex-wife. I am tired of her using their boys as a way to get my husband to do things. Don't get me wrong -- I know my husband "has" to do things for his boys. But there are times when she could manage for herself without him.

Abby, this woman still keeps their wedding picture on her fireplace. My question is: Do you think she is still in love with him? -- WONDERING IN HOUSTON

DEAR WONDERING: Whether your husband's ex-wife is still in love with him should be of no concern to you -- as long as he is not still in love with her. She may keep the wedding picture on her mantle for the sake of her sons, as proof that at one time she was actually a size 6, or even that she was once loved by someone.

You have nothing to gain -- and a great deal to lose -- by harboring resentment against her. She will always be a part of your lives because she is your stepsons' mother, and she will be a grandmother to their children. If you are wise, you'll accept it, not obsess and move on.